He said it's a break.. is still coming to see me tomorrow!

[Ripples]

Hey listen Never-too-late you need to stop carrying on like this otherwise you will drive yourself into the ground. The reason i say this with confidence is because your story mirrors mine almost to the last detail and I have felt like you do. My ex strung me along like this for months after a two year relationship and all the while I didn't know why, in fact I still dont. I have had to assume so much about where I stood because the confused, self centred crap that came out of her mouth was utterly illogical and left me with nothing to go on.

 

My ex asked me for time and space and to take things slowly etc. I did all of these things and she couldn't cope with me just backing off so she kept calling whenever she got insecure. Because I'm a nice bloke and I missed her so much I was always welcoming whenever she called. At the end of the conversations she felt great again because I had pumped up her ego and I felt like crap again because it ignited old emotions. Every time we spoke I was left standing feeling utterly useless. Eventually I said to her that enough was enough. I was not her therapist. We either had something or we didn't - no inbetween. After much thought she agreed to let me go and I haven't heard from her in a month. Trust me, this was the hardest thing I have ever done but I know deep down it was the right thing to do.

 

Yes I feel bad, yes I cry, yes I want to die but I am not going to call her BECAUSE I HAVE MY PRIDE AND DIGNITY TO THINK OF!!!!! And you MUST think like this now. NC is about you letting go and getting stronger. It is also about giving the ex space to figure out what they want. In my case I dont think my ex has really ever let go of her ex from 2 years ago. When she says she needs time I can only assume (because she still wont tell me directly) that she is now giving herself the time to get over him before she can move on. Either that or she wants to give him another go. Either way there is absolutley nothing I can do about it. Does she know that I love her - OF COURSE SHE DOES!

 

In your case your ex is experiencing the same emotions but in a way relative to his own life and it has nothing to do with you as a person. You sound lovely and caring but guess what, you could be the most wonderful person in the world but it still wouldn't change how he feels right now. So the best thing you can do is back out and stop getting so emotional about it - it isn't you, its him. Do not allow him to manipulate you like this. Yes it is tough but nothing in life is ever easy, so come on, get a grip and join me in showing the world that we are good enough to get through this and come out as better people. It is ultimately his loss if he doen't want to experience you as a person. He is the one with issues so let him be. Come on, be strong, prove to yourself that you can do it. Do not contact him ever again. Go out, have fun, live your life and show him by your actions that in fact you dont need him either.

 

Actions speak louder than words, dont forget that. x

[never-too-late]

Thanks for your encouragement Ripples!

 

I have been trying to be really strong about it but I am feeling so down! Every morning I get up I have tears in my eyes! Every evening I go to bed I think of him, I miss him and I wish I could talk to him! I blocked him on msn but he is signed on every day! I wonder whether he is waiting for me to sign on?

 

I am so weak! I feel like I can't move on! I still hope and I still feel like it can't be true.. there was such a strong connection between us! Especially now after I had a chat with his flatmate I feel like I should call him or at least email him.. I feel like I want to talk to him once more time before I can finally know that there is no chance whatsoever... I love him! I have never had anyone so deep in my heart like him! It hurts so much every day! I have to work every day and I hate that I have to put on such a false happy face! Inside I am in pain!! I feel like I cannot accept that he would end it! He has asked about me his flatmate so I guess he must be missing me and wondering what is going on too???

 

I am scared that the no contact will only push him away and will make him not want me anymore! I am scared that he will think that I am no interested and I don't care if I don't talk to him again! I want to contact him so badly!!!

[Bluegirl]

I have to agree with the others. I don't think he is in any doubt about how you feel. You have told him, he knows that you love him. He knows that you miss him. But knowing that is not changing his behaviour towards you, it's sad but true.

 

My boyfriend asked me for a break and I didn't contact him at all and two weeks later I got a very long email explaining how he was feeling, very confused, lonely etc etc. Well I tried to see if we could fix things but in the end of the day, his issues were too much for him. Like you I wondered, does he know I miss him etc. I told him when we met that I loved him and wanted to be with him but if he didn't want to be with me then that was his choice and he should walk away. And he did. It was horrible and I'm gutted but at least I know I couldn't have done anything else. He had time on his own and he figured out that he didn't want 'us' anymore. He was in no doubt about my feelings just as your ex isn't about yours. How many times can you tell him? Just give him the space that he seems to want and trust that the right outcome will happen. You can't force someone to be with you, you can't plead with them. It would never last in the long term. If he comes back to you of his own accord at least you will know that it was his decision.

 

I know it's hard, I'm heartbroken, but it is important to be strong.

xxxxxx

[Ripples]

Bluegirl is right.

 

Take this time to evolve into something that is even better than the you he knows. If and when he decides to get in touch then I can assure you that he will be pleasantly surprised. There really is no other option for you, me or all the other nice people who have hit the same problem. Your situation is not unique and so I would strongly advise you to listen to the voice of experience now. It will be tough.

 

What I would love to see is a timeline showing the thinking patterns of your average dumper.

 

ie

 

Day 1 - thank god, got rid of her/him

Day 2 - Feeling good

Day 3 - Feeling good

 

Week 3 - Feeling good but slightly insecure

Week 4 - I wonder what the ex is up too?

Week 5 - I wonder what the ex is up too???

Week 6 - Why haven't they called??

Week 7 - Maybe I should contact them!

Week 8 - Send a text.

week 9 - No reply. What is going on? They normally reply within the minute!

Week 10 - Another text. Getting Anxious. I thought they were weak! Perhaps they are not! What about my ego!

 

etc etc (i'm only guessing here so go easy on me if I have got it wrong)

 

You see part of the difficulty is that you don't know what the other one is doing or thinking and you feel powerless. But by going off and doing what is best for you, you suddenly, indirectly have the upper hand because no-one is influencing or manipulating you and that is a very powerful thing when backing out of a situation like this.

 

From what I can see and from my own experiences the above scenario won't be far from what happens to most of them. Ok, some will just disapear forever but those who need time and space because they are confused etc are probably being genuine and need time time to think - and boy will they be doing some thinking! So by taking a step back and bettering yourself until they come to their senses is the only option. You are the prize, not him so go and add value to yourself. If he calls and if you are ready to take his calls (make him wait first!) you must show a new you that is cool, calm, unfazed and frankly is quite happy doing your own thing. I promise by then that if you have genuinely changed to that extent and he still doesn't want you back you will be far stronger to move forwards to pastures new.

 

You may feel totally powerless but actually you are in complete control of the one thing that really matters - YOU!!

[never-too-late]

It was the hardest thing to do but I diddn't contact him for the whole 2 weeks. It was so so hard and I thought ok this is it! he will move on, meet somebody else and won't talk to me again! Well, today was the first time we talked again on msn! He admitted that he misses me and that he has been thinking a lot about me while I wasn't talking to him! he said that he realised that I am a good girl with really good qualities and that he is aware that it's hard to find a person like this nowadays! He said that he has been thinking a lot about us and our situation and that he discovered that we never really took time to get to know each other! I do agree with this because when we met, we jumped straight into a relationship and were intimate with each other pretty fast, which I regretted but it was too late to go back! He said that I am so much worth for him that he would like focus on me as a person! He said that he would like to get to know me and slowly build a foundation for our relationship. We both agreed that a relationship cannot possibly work without having a good and solid basement and foundation! I think this was lacking in our relationship and so we both agreed that it caused a lot of problems. We were both on different levels and so he said that his aim is to get to know me more deeply and grow together so we can be both on the same level and the relationship can feel natural to him. I think he felt under pressure from me but that's because I thought he was on the same level as me! He admitted that he made some really big mistakes and that he would like to correct them. I actually couldn't understand what went wrong but I think that today we both agreed and found the fundamental issue in our relationship! We did not take things slowly enough especially at the beginning.. the problem is that we are not living in the same country. But we agreed that it's worth to try even if the situation is not easy due to the distance. He also said that he would like to spend some time with me to do things, to explore things, to experience things together! I also would liek to do that! He said he wants to put aside his male physical instinct for now. He said that he would like to spend some time together without sleeping with each other because it's important for us to feel good together without necessarily being intimate so we can base our relationship on different values. He said that he realised that I am so much more worth and that he wants to do this with me!

 

I spoke to my parents and they both sounded happy for me but my dad said that he should be coming to me and making more efforts now.. We arranged that he will call me tonight but I have just received a text from him asking me if he could call me tomorrow that he hasn't got much time and that he is sorry and he said thanks and have a good night! I haven't replied because I don't have a credit but also I feel like I don't want him to take me for granted again! To be completely honest, I feel a little upset that he sent the text..I will wait till tomorrow but I am not sure whether to tell him that it upset me and that he needs to make more of an effort if he wants to really try what he says and to win my heart back! We still haven't discussed when are we going to meet and where.. but I hope that he will make his way to me!

 

What do you think about it?

[never-too-late]

I made a mistake.. i thought that we are getting to know each other all over again so we can be together again.. he was quite upset yesterday with me on the phone telling me that I am acting as if we are together again and that I need to lower my love for him and go down to his level and take things slow.. he was not very nice to me and he ended the phone call not in a very nice day saying.. so I am going back to my singlehood and you need to keep your distance! I cried on the phone and he got quite upset with me! He said that i am not able to have a normal conversation with him as a friend and that I always want to talk about "us" and that he does not want to talk about "us" anymore! He said that it's too much for him! He said after that he feels like he shouldn't talk to me anymore anyway because whather he says upsets me and hurts me and I start to cry! Have I messed it all up again? Should I call him and say I am sorry that I was so emotional and that I would like to be his friend as well to start over again.. but he said that it doesn't mean that we will be together again but I know when we chatted on msn the first time that he wants to get to know each other more to see if he wants to be with me again...? I am so confused now! He also said to me yesterday that he does not know what he wants and that I do and so we should be on the same level and we are not! What shoud I do? I regret that I became so emotional! Have I lost all my chances now?

[never-too-late]

It's unbelievable... he sent me a text two days ago after the uncomfortable phone call asking me if I could sign online that he needs to ask me something?! After some hesitation I did! He said that he was coming with his friends to my country and that he has nowhere to sleep on Thursday night so if he could come to stay with me! And we could spend the Friday together before he goes to spend the weekend with his friends.. I said that he can! He then said that he is wondering whether it's a good idea? I said why has he asked me first and then he is not sure? He said because of our last phone call, which was hard for him? He then said that he wants to take it easy and he does not want to think about us too much and whatever happens will happen.. He then asked me if I was excited that he was coming to see me? I said that yes I am happy and he said but I mean excited.. because he said that he is. He then asked me how I wanted to spend the time togehter? I said that it would nice to get to know each other as we said on msn before again and focus on that.. and that this is would be a great opportunity for us! I asked how does he want it to be and he said "let's be clear! I have to admit that I am very excited to see you and I am not sure we can resist each other". He then said "I am sorry to tell you that". He said that he wants me.. I asked him if he meant it when he said on the phone that he just wanted to have fun with me when he met me the first time.. he said at the beginning yes but of course after he wanted to be with me! He said to me but please take it easy! I said so do you still want to focus on me as a person? He said "oh please don't worry I am not coming to see you for "that"! So stop with your questions again"! He then said "I said I want you becuase it's true and not because I think you are easy..but after your questioning I should maybe avoid saying things like that! Sorry then I don't want you now". He then said "is it better like this now? otherwise it's the end of the world for you! I said to you yesterday I don't want to talk about us anymore". He said "it's such a trouble to say things to you! your questions do you think im easy? if you complicate things like this, keep me away from you! I can tell you and maybe you should prepare a separate bed for me on Thursday then! otherwise it'll be hard! I only said "ok" and he got upset and said "great so maybe I should sleep in a different room then? he then said "anyway, we are friends now so friends shouldn't sleep together! I am just used to telling you that I want you" I said "it's ok" and he got upset and said "cool. bye. see you". I said "so i'll see you on Thursday?" and he said "well, maybe" I asked why? and he said "because if I will come I will have a hard time thinking should I do this or should I not? great time really" He then said "i don't know. i will tell you tomorrow. don't take your day off on Friday becuase it's not worth it". I said "why are you saying it's not worth it?" He said "because you didn't change! always the same bulls*** with you and your questions instead of just enjoying the time together. you are a nice girl but you wonder too much and you question too much! it's deep inside you. i'll tell you tomorrow. maybe i may not come with my friends at all. i need to rest and with you and your quesitons it's impossible and partying with my friends isn't either. when I hear you it's too much complications. i prefer avoiding it! I said to him" but we haven't met yet and you are already negative!" and he said "yes but I can see on msn that it's too complicated for you to take things easy for you. he said remember that we are not together anymore and we won't be so take it easy with me! I'll let you know tomorrow." and he signed off..

 

I don't have words.. I don't get it! First he sends a text asking me if he could come to stay here and then he gets so annoyed because I asked a question? He asked me a question too no? I feel so bad now like I am really complicated! But he knows me so how could he expected me to change in a day? He said at first he is happy to see me but now he has changed his mind again? What am I doing wrong? I can't say anything to him without upsetting him? This time he was the one who started asking me questions about us and how I feel about him coming here to see me? What have I done wrong? Doesn't he want to see me then?

[never-too-late]

I am in tears! I feel the pain now more than ever! He emailed me to say that he won't be coming at the end because he prefers avoiding any complications! He said that he thinks it's better if we don't meet for a while as he does not feel very comfortable! I am devasted more than before because I think now it feels like we will never see each other again! Now it feels like he has finally decided that I am not the girl for him and he does not want to see me again! I feel that now he has made his mind about us! This whole time he wasn't sure about us but I think now he knows! I think today my heart is really broken! I feel like I am such a bad girlfriend! This whole time he has been telling me that he is confused.. and that he misses me a lot and I am in his mind and heart and that he wants to focus on building our relationship again and the next day he is completely different with me! It hurts so badly! I can't stop crying! I feel such a horrible pain on my chest and my stomach! I will never get over him! I gave him all my heart and the maximum love I have ever given to anyone.. I thought he was the special one in my life and that's why it hurts even more now! Why has he given up on me so fast? I thought he said before that he will be always there for me and now he is acting as if he is going away from me completely! Do you think I completely pushed him away? Why is he saying he doesn't feel comfortable? Why suddenly he does not feel comfortable to see me? He came here during the Easter break and we had a great time! And he is suddenly telling me this? He made me promise that we will see each other again and now he refuses to see me? I am so so so hurt by this!!

[never-too-late]

I had to come here to vent! I feel quite low today! I am still feeling hurt and I am still having so many questions in my head.. I haven't heard from him and I am beginning to worry what is going on! I think what makes me the saddest that now we are not talking because last time we spoke I became emotional and I cried and he became upset at me... and then he even decided not to come to see me because he said that it's not a good idea to meet so soon that he does not feel very comfortable! I haven't said anything since and he hasn't either... I wonder what is going on? The way it was left was not exactly nice so now I really don't know what to expect? I blocked him on msn again and I know that he was signed on last night but now I won't unblock him again... but he does not talk to me now.. I spoke to his good friend on msn the other day and appareantly she asked him about me and this is what he answered "I miss her a lot sometimes but it's better like this". So I guess all the things he said that he does not want to close the door behind us completely and that we might be together again were lies? It sounds like he has made his mind completely about me! I am also very scared now that she will tell him that I blocked him on msn because I told her but she promised she won't say anything to him!! I hope she will not! I wish I could just talk to him in a light, breezy way but every time I talk to him it's hard not to talk about us! I guess this has pushed him away from me for good! I should have been more careful and I should have worked on building the friendship with him as he suggested... but now is it too late you think? I worry that he won't talk to me again because he is scared to say the wrong thing just in case I start to cry ( as he said ) and he says he wants to avoid complications.. I think I lost him completely!!

 

Do you think that he has finally moved on now without me? I feel that he now he thinks I am really insecure, needy and clingy because I cried last time we spoke on the phone and he got upset.. He said he does not feel comfortable with me now?! Do you think he won't talk to me again? He is not on msn anymore! I feel that now he does not miss me anymore! It's like he just thought ok that's it now I know why I broke up with her and I was rigth with my decision and I am happy now to be without her... I regret I broke the no contact with him! It was a stupid mistake really!! Now he has taken the power back by cancelling on me.. and by not wanting to talk to me! I was stupid that I didn't take more time before talking to him again! Do you think there is a chance that he might still miss me if I don't talk to him? but now he does not even try to talk to me or initiate contact with me!

[yen]

I think you should be doing what you've been doing to him after the breakup thing that is - not initiating a contact and going out with your friends so you could step by step move on.. bit by bit.

 

Your guy, based on what I've read in your posts is taking you for granted, keeping you by the sidelines. He will contact you when he feels like doing so, treating you like this and that as he feels. I understand how hard it is on your side because you still love him very much and is of course looking forward when the two of you will be together again.

 

It's so hard believe me I understand how hard it is but at least gather your strength little by little to let go of him. When he makes contact with you, answer all his questions but avoid asking him so (as this annoys him as you said). Sounds like unaffected even if you really are.

 

Pray for courage to go through all this thing. If he is meant for you, GOD will make a way for the of you to be together no matter what.

[never-too-late]

Thank you so much for all your replies!! I really appreciate it!

 

It's been extremely hard actually... I feel so strange and sad because he stopped talking to me! Why was he telling me that he would like us to focus on me as a person, that I am a girl with good qualities and that I am so much worth it and that he would like to take things slowly and spend more time to get to know each other because we made that mistake when we started seeing each other... he said that if he wanted to be with me again that he needed to do that and we both agreed that a good relationship needs a good foundation and good friendship! I do understand that I spoilt it last time because I started to cry and I had all these questions about "us" and that pushed him away because he said he needed to work on what he wants and to be sure... he wanted us to be good friends at first and take things slowly so we can grow together (so he said) and now he does not even talk to me anymore. he does not communicate with me.

 

A friend of mine told me that he is probably feeling uncomfortable not knowing how to communicate with me because he thinks that I get upset and cry easily and he wants to avoid that... she said that he does not want to hurt me... so he stopped talking to me! and that's why I feel like it was my fault last time because I didn't give us a chance as two friends who can grow together! but the problem is that I love him and I have feelings for him and I spent 1 year and 3 months with him in a relationship so I find it quite hard to switch to be his friend and not to ask him anything about us.. I guess that's the hardest thing for me! I don't think he will talk to me again!! because he is worried! I guess my love for him was true and deep! He told me last time that we can't talk to each other if we are not on the same level.. I am trying hard to be on the same level but I am finding it still hard! I was still crying this morning missing him even though I haven't spoken to him for 2 weeks!

 

You all are telling me to move on and not to contact him! I think it's the best for me but I still don't understand why is my friend telling me who also knows him very well that I could send him an email that maybe he is waiting for that?? I get so confused sometimes! You know I am having such a hard time with this because I truly loved this guy with all my heart! I gave this relationship everything!! the maximum! but i also know that he couldn't handle the distance very well.. half of the relationship we were apart but trying to visit each other... it was hard for him mainly! i read a letter yesterday that I found by chance from him he sent me for our one year anniversary and it was so wonderful.. I had tears in my eyes! He said he loves me a lot and so on... I still cannot believe that we are now not even talking to each other

[Ripples]

You must now face your pain. Don't put this off any more. It will be the toughest thing you ever do in your life but please listen to me - stop kidding yourself that this is going to work out at this moment in time because I assure you it is not going to.

 

The answers to your problem have been posted to you before. Go back and read each post slowly and try to understand what is being said to you. This is the voice of reason. It is not easy I promise you but if you want to heal your pain and regain your strength you must now let go and that means no contact. Do not do this because you want him back. Do this because it is the only way back to the real you.

 

The only ray of hope that I will give you is that as you re-discover the real you, you will become attractive to all - and I mean all, including your stupid ex who by the way sounds like a complete tosser!

 

Show the world what you can do. But dont kid yourself, this is going to take a very long time but you have no other option. Take your time to grieve now but as time goes by in a few days or weeks, slowly start to move yourself into a new phase of your life. Go out, meet friends, join some clubs, anything that aids the healing process and yes I know - IT IS SO DIFFICULT!!!!!

 

I am going through exactly the same thing right now. You are not alone. Find courage and strength and most importantly your dignity.

 

Don't delay - start today.

 

x

[never-too-late]

Here I am again...

 

I have been trying to move on...i have been going out a lot with my friends...but I found myself missing him yesterday a lot!! The thing is he has not been on chat messenger for the past 4 days, which is very unusual for him so either he has blocked me too or he has met someone else and is busy with his new girl? He has not tried to contact me at all!

 

There have been guys interested in me but I am not interested in any of them back!! I miss him so much! Has he forgotten about me?

[never-too-late]

You wouldn't believe what happened today

 

i'ts strange because just before I said that it was strange he hasn't been on msn for a while... anyway, just after I suddenly received an invitation to join chat but the email address was under my friend's name. this friend of mine is a guy with whom I have been hanging out a lot but it's clear that there would be nothing between us happening. anyway, I accepted his invitation and he started to chat to me..he asked me about my work and my weekend and I asked about his.. I said that I went out with my friends last night and it was fun. then I asked him how is his revision for exams going and suddenly he said that he should reveal something. he said I am not xxx, I am xxx! I felt heat coming to my face and my heart beating so fast! It was HIM, my ex-boyfriend!

 

He started to be quite nasty to me telling me "so you blocked me on msn, I am VERY disappointed with you." I said I did it because last time we talked he said he didn't feel very comfortable and he said to me to shut up! I was so shocked... anyway, he then said that he can't believe I blocked him and he said "so my trick worked... you would rather talk to xxx you fool" and then he said "so you are having fun". I said to him that he sounds angry and he replied "I have fxxxing reasons to be upset. You want to stay in contact with me and then you block me!!" I said to him "I am disappointed because you chose not to come to see me at the end when you spent the weekend in London" and he said "don't talk to me! how do you know I was in London in the end" and I said to him because I could see he was offline! I said to him "you were the one who broke up and chose this so I blocked you because I wanted to protect myself and also I knew if I was on msn.. I would always want to talk to you" and he said to me "don't worry you don't have to protect yourself again because I will block you too like you did it to me!"

 

he also said to me to fxxk off.. I was getting really upset with this.. anyway, he then said "you block me on msn so you can then spy on me!" I said that I am not spying on him but I had to it as I said because last time he told me he didn't feel comfortable" and then he said "so you have to block me" (sarcastically). He said "I don't want to be using this false address so bye". I felt so guilty that I unblocked him and I asked him why has he done this and he said "oh you are back.. amazing! he said I haven't talked to you for so long! how are you?" I thought he was genuinly asking me how I was.. I said that I have been working a lot and he said "bad luck" He said that his work is ok! He then said "I should have played my game longer and I shouldn't have revealed so soon that it wasn't me! maybe I could have found out more about what have you been up to" I said to him that there is not a lot to find out and he said "iam sure there is..." Then he said "I am so offended you did this to me" he said "i want to forget you and I want to block you too" and I said ok and then I couldn't stand this anymore and said to him "if you want to block me ok do it because i don't care anymore! you are not understanding of my feelings at all and you only care about yourself! you are a nasty piece of work! i don't deserve to be treated like this! I don't want to have anything to do with you!! bye".

 

I felt so upset and so angry this time. I feel bad about what I have said to him because he emailed me immediately afterwards and said to me

 

did u really mean all u said at the end on msn?? that u dont care anymore at all about me and i am a nasty piece of work and so on???

i would like u to answer to be completely clear with each other.

 

I haven't replied because I have too many things to say to him that I am upset about and I feel extremely betrayed by what he had done.. he signed on with a false address and blamed me the whole time.. I feel so upset but I don't think I want to reply to him!

 

What does he want??? We are broken up since March and we haven't talked for 3 weeks and I thought he had forgotten about me and now I feel like he is still not letting it go, like he is jelous and upset that I don't talk to him.. what do you think? Have I done the right thing? Maybe I shouldn't have said to him that he is a nasty piece of work! maybe that was too much but he has offended me so much today! it's so sad

[sleepers]

Guys can play really bad mind games at times and leave us figuring out what they are trying to do and who on earth are they to do it. They have the capacity to throw us around when they like it and ask us back when they feel like it.

 

I am going through this same piece of thing as you are going through right now. With the exact same attitude and same mentality as your ex. sometimes the guys can give you such crappy attitude and reasons for their actions dat you want to smack them real hard on the head. For me, it is the same, i know exactly what you mean. i love my ex alot too but he is just so crappy now.. i don even know if he's seeing someone new. we broke up 1 week ago... i m trying not to think abt this, going through counselling now to try and resolve some issues that i have with myself and he wants to be friends and everything else.. but i really don't know how i can do it. i have given myself some time for this thing. if by the time things are not resolved, i wil let go..maybe u should give urself some time too.

[never-too-late]

I don't know what to do.. I am trying to be strong but he has been calling me today all day long.. while I was at work he tried like 10 times and now again. he emailed me as well asking why am I not answering the phone and that he promises that he will leave me alone but just before if I could answer him. He is apologising for yesterday telling me that he is sorry he had trapped me but he really wanted to talk to me on *** messenger and he couldn't see me online for weeks so he wanted to check if I had blocked him. he admitted that he knows that it was not a good thing to do. he said that when he realised that I blocked him, it made him feel bad and he got worried that I dont want to talk to him again and he felt he lost me so that's why he wasn't nice with me at all.

 

he says he doesn't want to loose me as he has too much feelings for me. he then said that he knows I hate him now but he wants to at least save our friendship?!

 

He then says "we can't just leave each other like that because you are angry with me. It would be the biggest shame!!

 

Do u really not care anymore about me to do that to me now?? I apologize for

what i've done but what else can i do now? tell me what else should i do for u to accept to talk to me again? I dont want to think that u could after only few weeks forget me and avoid me as u do now. I know u still have feelings for me, so dont let that kill each other. We just need to talk to sort that out!

 

u know i really want to talk to u. I m sure now all your friends are

telling u not to listen to me but please trust me. Am i so bad??

 

I dont know what i should do, if u dont reply to me, i guess i should just give

up? would be such a shame!

 

I want to see u again! I don't want to loose you!

 

He then added in his next email " I know u dont care anymore but u're torturing me now!!!!!!!!! i guess i deserve it"

 

I feel so confused!! Iam not sure what to do? I know I shouldn't give in! It's so hard though!