Lost and need some advice!

[foolish]

Hello, My b/f broke up with me two weeks ago and I am completely devastated. We went out for 2 years and it was great until about 8 months ago. He started to gamble online and it started to take over his whole life including ditching school and avoiding his family. I only got to see him on the weekends because we live 2 hours apart but we would always have the best weekends when we were together. Then the gambling started and he was starting to distance himself from me. I would come over on the weekends and he would be in his room gambling online and I would be in the living room upset. He would come check on me like 3 or 4 times when I came up to see him but then he would go back on his computer again. If we made plans to go out or to the movies, he would take me out but then as soon as we got home he would go right back on his computer. I love this man so much and it was so hard to go through with it. So he finally ended it two weeks ago saying that he needs to focus on school and he needs to stop gambling but he can't do it and be with me at the same time. I don't understand! I did nothing but support him throught school! I was always 100% behind him in everything he did, except when it came to gambling. So anyway I have just been terrible, so I finally called him lastnite to ask why he hasn't even tried to pick up the phone and try to call me. He told me that he doesn't want to make it hard on me and that its best if we just don't talk anymore. I just want to die inside hearing that from him. To top it off, I cannot be alone right now. I met someone the other night and I have been hanging out with him, he is the nicest guy you will ever meet and I've never been treated so nice by someone. The problem is my ex found out about him and basically told me that I'm so weak and I can't go on alone. Maybe he's right, but this guy has been treating me like a queen and it feels so good right now. I know that I should be alone but its way to hard right now. Does anyone have any advice for me?

[Luscious]

If you still love this guy then why go out so soon on another date, also even though you say you can't be alone don't you think because you feel that way that you're only going to be using this other guy and your feelings may not be sincere but this guy feelings may actually be.

 

You have to be careful because you don't want this new guy to be a sponge for your feelings you have to decide what are you gonna do. Do you wanna be by yourself until you can get over your ex because its only been two weeks and it will take some time before you can get over him and don't say things that you can't be alone because you can its just that you were with someone for two years and to not be with anyone seems a bit scary.

 

If your ex started dating someone right now how would you feel and what would you think? I'm not saying don't date but don't rush into anything until you're fully over your ex, talk on the telephone, go to the movies but don't get attached or needy until you are sure this is what you want. But you should let the guy know that you just came out of a relationship and you don't want to jump into another too fast, if that is what you want.

[sparkler624]

I don't think you did anything wrong. It sounds like your this guy has a serious addiction to online gambling. He needs to get some help! I wouldn't take any of it personally. He probably broke up with you so that he would more time to gamble. Talk to him about getting help, that's the best thing to do. It's not your fault for the break up.

[dreamer_girl]

It seems that you are doing what people would naturally do, be with someone that values them more. If your ex-bf is addicted to gambling, it may be hard for him to stop and in the future, he may worsen. He needs to get some professional help so that they can show him the ropes and let him see that other people are in the same position as he is in.

 

The part where he said that he can't see you in order to go to school is rather weird, ask him why he thinks that way.

 

As for the new guy, make sure he really is what you think he is. Once you are wearing a rose-colored spectacles, it's hard to take it off but eventually, you'd have to. See him for what he is, and not what you want to see. Good luck to you, hopefully the guy is as great as you think he is. =)