Did I give bad advice?

[happyphantom]

My best friend's crush (after months of flirting) finally suggested that they should go out sometime. After a week passed by and he hadn't called, my friend started to feel really let down.

 

Maybe I'm too traditional, but I told her that under no circumstances should she call him and ask him about the date......and also told him that if he did eventually call and ask her out for a particular weekend, he should do it at least by the Wednesday of that week. That's just an unwritten rule of thumb that I always use.

 

Well, he called on a Thursday asking her out for a Saturday. I was with her when he called, and watched her politely tell him "I would love to, but I already have other plans. Maybe some other time."

 

Well, that was that. He hasn't called since and she is feeling disappointed.

 

Personally, I think its a good thing because although she may have gotten a date out of it, it would have been just too easy for him. Also, when she suggested "some other time," he couldve taken initiative and asked her for the following week.

 

But, I do feel a little bit guilty for giving her that advice, seeing how she's taking it.

 

What do you guys think?

[jessijess]

I think she should call him & suggest that they make plans. The guy might be feeling rejcted & that's why he;s not calling

[1899]

You really dont know how much trouble it may have been for him to muster up the courage to ask her out. I know it was very difficult for me at first. (its like stage fright) And if you just say "I already have other plans, maybe some other time" he may get the drift that your are not interested or you into someone else. If you really are that busy to not give somone you like a date atleast immediately rescedule so he will know your obviously not trying to get rid of him nicely. Some guys are shy and dont want to appear to be obsessive so they are not going to do but so much to get your attention. At this point its up to her to make a move.

 

BTW what do you women mean by "just too easy for him"?

[lady00]

Wednesday was pretty arbitrary. I think she should have said yes...i don't think the rule makes that much sense especially if he called the day after....what difference does a day make? She should now take the initiative if she wants to go out with him because by the way she responded, it sounded like she didn't want to go out with him at all. Saying "some other time" may just be perceived by him as letting him down easy.

[happyphantom]

The reason that I said Wednesday is because its the midpoint of the week, and in reality, people DO make plans way in advance of their weekends.

 

I guess I'm being a little difficult with him because he has been giving her the run around, and acting "hot," and then "cold." (He did leave her hanging the entire week before that) I just feel like he doesn't appreciate what she has to offer, and is blowing her off until he has nothing better to do (I'm judging this on past incidents I wont go into)

 

But anyway, I guess enough of you seem to agree that I was way off, so I'll suggest to her that she ask him to make other plans, and bite my tongue with my advice next time.

 

Thanks,

Sophie

[MetallicAguy]

I guess because certain guys women are attracted to (the guys that are generally pretty funny) tease for fun. Like not to get women; just for fun. They like to mess with peoples heads, there like the woman that leads guys on, but instead it's a dude. Get my point?