annie24 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 And this handsome man ordering coffee next to me had this very sexy accent. I was wanting to ask him where he was from, but then I didn't... At parties and bars, I'm a fairly flirty person, but at 8 AM at Starbucks, or at the grocery store, for example, I'm just a focused, "get in, get what I need, get out" type of person. Besides... he looked really tired - he was rubbing his eyes and yawning. Guys - what would you think if a girl struck up a conversation like this with you somewhere? Would you think that she was weird and intrusive? Or that she's flirty and nice? Next time I'm in this situation, should I say something, or just leave them alone to wait for their coffee in peace? Thanks! Link to comment
boomer1619 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I would be thrilled if a girl did that. Especially if shes attractive. Believe me when I say that most people would love to be spoken to ata place liek that. When I am reading at a bookstore, I always wish a cute gal would come up and strike a conversation. Although I will admit that I dont have the balls to strike up in strange places myself. I am always admiring from afar, and I wonder ho wlucky i might be if I did such things. Any ladies wanna give input as well? Link to comment
DN Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Definitely say something. Who knows, by doing that you may find the man you will happily spend the rest of your life with. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And when you say something, make sure it is something he can pick up the vibe with, not something that just requires a monosyllabic response. Link to comment
randy Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 O say something for sure...nothing to loose in that situation... And ya i like it when a girl approaches me and starts talking to me about stuff. But then sometimes i find it hard to keep the conversation going arrrrgggggg. Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Ooh I love starbucks!!! My sister takes me there when I visit her in Bristol. My favourite drink is the white chocolate mocha. However I know this was sort of a question for they guys but I'd try and start a convo. I mean whats to loose? I doubt they'd find you weird? Why would they? Flirting is about having fun and meeting new people (So I have been told) Go for it, you never know ... good luck! Miya Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 18, 2005 Author Share Posted March 18, 2005 I just don't want to be intrusive, you know? But, if you guys say that it's not... I'm afraid of this conversation... Me: I really like your accent - where are you from? Hot man: from xxxxxx Me: Oh cool! I've always wanted to go there. What made you move to Wisconsin? Hot man: My girlfriend got a job here, so I followed her out. Me: Oh ... (uncomfortable silence) Link to comment
djedix Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Haha Yea but you never know! What if he was single looking for someone? You'll never know cuz you didn't ask! a closed mouth brings no feet... Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 yeah ... there is a 50/50 chance that the guy in the que is single and looking! It's a risk, but it might be worth while risk! Miya Link to comment
randy Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I just don't want to be intrusive, you know? But, if you guys say that it's not... I'm afraid of this conversation... Me: I really like your accent - where are you from? Hot man: from xxxxxx Me: Oh cool! I've always wanted to go there. What made you move to Wisconsin? Hot man: My girlfriend got a job here, so I followed her out. Me: Oh ... (uncomfortable silence) after he says that...thats when u PRETEND u were just interested in having a conversation and nothing more... so like mmmmmm.. Hot man: My girlfriend got a job here, so I followed her out. You: O ya, how do you guys find it here? Hot man: It's not bad. A bit different from xxxxxx You: O ya life is a bit (slower or faster) here. There is a lot (less or more) to do here. Just keeping the conversation pretty general u know. Also just talking about what he mostly has on his mind (aside from his GF). Which is the new place. Just so u can escape with out it feeling to uncomfortable. well thats just how i would handle the situation. Link to comment
DN Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I just don't want to be intrusive, you know? But, if you guys say that it's not... I'm afraid of this conversation... Me: I really like your accent - where are you from? Hot man: from xxxxxx Me: Oh cool! I've always wanted to go there. What made you move to Wisconsin? Hot man: My girlfriend got a job here, so I followed her out. Me: Oh ... (uncomfortable silence) delete (uncomfortable silence) insert ("well, I hope you like it here. Have a good day" Hot Man "Thanks" Annie "Bye" or maybe" delete (uncomfortable silence) insert ("well, I hope you like it here. Have a good day" Hot Man "Thanks. Actually, we broke up soon after I moved. Perhaps you would like to show me around town?" Annie "Love to" Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Well, I dont think there is anything to be afraid of. Easier said than done. But lets say you do strike up a convo with the Hot guy Annie, use it as practice if anything else. Who knows, you make him laugh or whatever, you may get a number or something, or even yet, you may get a friend. That is what we are all should be after first right, a friend first, then see where it leads to.... go for it, i say!!! good luck now there is one problem though, will you see this hot guy again?? Alot of times, someone might kinda like ya, but if you dont think quick, you are out of luck!!! Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I'd think it wouldn't be that big of a deal, I'm pretty bored in the morning so yeah. I'd think she'd be flirty and nice. Link to comment
Caldus Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Guys - what would you think if a girl struck up a conversation like this with you somewhere? Would you think that she was weird and intrusive? Or that she's flirty and nice? Next time I'm in this situation, should I say something, or just leave them alone to wait for their coffee in peace? Guess it depends on what she said to me. If it's just a simple hi how are you doing or hey where are you from then I wouldn't think she's weird or intrusive. I would think she is just trying to be nice and outgoing. The thought of her being a weirdo wouldn't even cross my mind. I would enjoy having a conversation with some random girl at a coffee shop (especially if I'm by myself). annie24, I'm curious as to why you would wait for the hot sexy guy to drink coffee and leave and never doing anything about it. What's your rationale for that? Just afraid of rejection like us guys? Link to comment
al7 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 1. I was wanting to ask him where he was from, but then I didn't... 2. but at 8 AM at Starbucks, or at the grocery store, for example, I'm just a focused, "get in, get what I need, get out" type of person. 3. Guys - what would you think if a girl struck up a conversation like this with you somewhere? 4. Would you think that she was weird and intrusive? Or that she's flirty and nice? 5. Next time I'm in this situation, should I say something, or just leave them alone to wait for their coffee in peace? 1. It is simple: as a simple substitution of a question, when you have to act quickly... you know what to do: look at him, say "Hi" and smile a little bit long and a little bit wider than you usually do when you are happy. Make sense? 2. Slow down, cut on coffee, it doesn't contribute to your health. For example I don't even remember when I drank coffee last time. Plus being in a hurry is not good thing either. What helps me is not having a watch. So I am alway allright and not stressed out if you will be late or not if I got 15 minutes to do some stuff or not. I feel good! Just use a clock at home, computer clock... and thats it. 3. I am dumb and I would think she is friendly... oh maybe she find accents sexy? 4. Weird and intrusive?? Only a weird and intrusive guy would think that way, trust me. 5. Of course say somehting... if you don't have time, or cannot come up with somthing just smile more at him.. smiler better and smiler longer Link to comment
al7 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I'm afraid of this conversation... Me: I really like your accent - where are you from? Hot man: from xxxxxx Me: Oh cool! I've always wanted to go there. What made you move to Wisconsin? Hot man: My girlfriend got a job here, so I followed her out. Me: Oh ... (uncomfortable silence) "What made you move to Wisconsin?" might be too hard to answer quickly...I would prefer something else like: "I heard it is a nice place..do they have the same cold weather there in the end of winter?" Weather is a light decent topic I guess. Link to comment
sexygrl19 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I would've said something because you don't want to be left wondering what could've happened.And I don't think he would've cared that much if you tried to start a conversation with him.I mean,what if he was the man you were supposed to have a long future together?Does he go to that same Starbucks a lot?If so,maybe you should go there more often.And next time,you could talk to him! Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 18, 2005 Author Share Posted March 18, 2005 Well - so, I didn't watch him drink his coffee the whole time. We both ordered, and then were were standing against the wall, waiting for the drinks to be made (We both ordered lattes!!!) We both had "to go" orders. Funny that you say that Al - you know that I was in a hurry because I was giving a presentation to my department. But - I should add - actually, he wasn't "hot" in the classical sense (like an Abercrombie model). He looked like a normal guy, on the good-looking side... but there was something about him... his accent + I don't know what... but I found it intriguing... But as to why I say intrusive.... well, My family and I are Serbian, living in the US. I remember, whenever I am out with my mother, she has a very thick accent, so people ask her all the time where she is from. And while I was in high school, there were lots of political problems in that region of the world, and she didn't want to say that she was serbian because the American media was portraying us so badly - not telling the whole side of the story. My mom wrote lots of letters to the editor to the city newspaper, and as a result, we received a lot of death threats. There - that's not quite the answer you were expecting I mean - this guy wasn't from Afghanistan or Iraq - I bet he was somewhere from Europe. So - I don't know if it's so much a "fear of rejection" as being afraid of this guy thinking that I'm a freak like, "uhh... why is this girl talking to me??? I just came here to get coffee..." but... I guess if you guys are saying that you don't think it's weird... then the next guy I find interesting at the coffee shop, I'll try it on him. But, it's not like I'm going to spend every morning at Starbuck's for the next 2 weeks hoping he comes in.... Link to comment
Caldus Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Well annie you can either just take your chances and talk to him or sit there wondering forever how it would've turned out. Most of the time people will have positive responses. If they have a negative response then don't take it personally. They might just be having a bad day or whatever the heck it may be. + I don't know what How can you be intriqued by something that you don't know of? LOL. Link to comment
al7 Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 1. Sorry to hear that... Hmm..even if he is from Iraq, it is a good topic to talk about... Ok you want to avoid it? Thats easy: Ask him "cool accent... what language do you speak?" they speak Arabic in Iraq as in many other countries. If he is from Korea still speaks Korean he might be from South Korea where all people are all right... If he is from Iran, they speak Farsi..not just "Iranian language", same with Afganistan. 2. Go a tone light, do not ask him where is he from... or what made him come here" Comment on the weather "Too sunny for winter todai, isn' it?" Too cloudy... Too rainy.." Go you the idea. 3. Yes, it is perfectly ok.. to talk about some simple things... just do not ask too specific\personal questions: what do you do...where do you work... why did you come here... Talks about the weather... or coffee that you like...somehting like that. Link to comment
CarterJonas Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I would have also talked to him. Remember that you will sometimes get shy guys as well. I was at my dentist last night, quite late after work, and I got chatting to a girl that was sitting beside me. Anyway it turned out that she was also single and I am taking her out on Monday night. Just to show that you can meet people in all places and you never know until you speak to them. Once you start doing it your confidence goes through the roof..lol. It doesn't have to lead to anything, it can be just friendly banter an no more. But I must say that the girl I spoke to in the dentist showed real confidence (without alcohol) which I find very attractive in a woman. If I remember right she was the one who said something to me first. So to conclude, yes by all means small talk with handsome men, it can be done without you having to come accross as chatting him up. Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 aww! this post has set me off on a craving for a white chocolate Mocha ! I have to wait 3 months for one cause thats when im down visiting my sis. wow thats really cool CarterJonas hope you ahve a nice time, I actually forgot about the shy guy part. That is something to watch out for. But you I agree with what CarterJonas said, about once you start conversations your confidence will build. I hope things work out! Miya Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 18, 2005 Author Share Posted March 18, 2005 About the confidence thing... You know, when I lived in southern CA, I used to chat people up all the time. But, last year, I moved to wisconsin for grad school, and all the people I meet are so closed off!!! I've always heard that the midwesterners were supposed to be nice and friendly, but that isn't what I've encountered. Perhaps because they are all scientists working on their PhDs and are pretty socially inept (and actually - most of them aren't from the midwest). For example - yesterday I gave a talk. The students in the audience had to write evaluations. Afterwards, the prof and I went over the evaluations. She was shocked. She told me that I had given the best presentation so far, and she really liked what I had presented. However, many of the students were not enthusiastic writing things like, "Your speech sounded over-rehearsed." (As if it's a fault to be well-prepared!) These are the same people who spread tons of crazy rumors and said nasty things about me behind my back - and honestly - I never did anything to them. So, as a result of all those interactions... I guess I've kind of closed myself off from people... which is why I'm posting about this "meeting new people" here. Link to comment
DN Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Is that true of a lot of academics at that leveL? Very competitive and jealous? Something I've heard. Link to comment
Caldus Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Well I was talking to this girl for a while today and didn't get the guts to ask her out for dinner or anything, but I will see her again. It's only the second time I've talked to her but I still could've offered to take her out to dinner. Man I have got to stop doing this to myself. Well at least I talked to her. annie24, as you can see sometimes if you do those things it could lead to a date or possibly more. Link to comment
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