Fallen for a girl, but...

[madg]

Alright, here's the deal. Recently, I've completely fallen for this girl that I've known for about two months. We met through a school activity, saw each other a couple of times a few weeks apart, and just recently went on a trip to a certain place together through the same school activity. We didn't go to the same school, but she has graduated now; she is 18 and I am 17, and on the trip, we hung out almost the entire time. Before the trip we would talk on AIM and she said she really wanted me to go so she could chill with me and stuff like that, so I was optimistic, and we ended up having a really good time, I think... but, she has a boyfriend. In college. He's a sophomore or junior, and I think he's 21 or 22. I'm not the greatest looking guy in the world, but this girl is incredible. She's gorgeous, funny, very smart, and very nice. She calls me gorgeous every time I see her, and gives me pretty personal hugs, we've even danced a couple of times together. Just the other day, she invited me to her graduation party, and gave me her phone number without me really asking for it... I'm just wondering, any advice? I don't know whether or not she likes me, but she says stuff like "I told my boyfriend how cool you are" and "all my friends think you sound like the coolest guy ever after I told them about you." I don't know whether to think anything of it, or if I'm reading too much into it, or what to do because she has a boyfriend... any advice is greatly appreciated.

[Leo_panda]

In my opinion, a girl with a boyfriend is not worth it. Its good to be friends with them but dont expect anything more. It may seem like she's spending a lot of time with you but in my experience she's also spending a lot of time with her boy. It simply isn't worth it to walk down that path. There are lots of girls out there you just have to find one for yourself.

 

But If you find out she doesn't have a guy, go after her by all means. fair game.

 

hope that helped.

 

Leo

[BazookaMike]

If you really know that you are better for then her current boyfriend I say go for it. Don't let him stop you. But I think that it'd be best to play it cool. Don't just straight out tell her that you like her. Show her that you could treat her better then who she's with now. Personally I wouldn't take your relationship any farther because if you jump on this one its going to take a lot of work on your part to make it last. So just take it as it happens, it might be better go after a different girl and not risk this one right now.

[madg]

Well, that's sort of the thing about going after a different girl: I just cannot get this one off of my mind. I have about three other girls (not to brag or anything, they aren't all that attractive or anything) trying to get me to go out with them right now and I'm stuck on THIS girl. She's just so perfect in every way, I feel like all my attributes are raised up when I'm around her, and I'm like a better person. I really want to try and get my mind off of her, but I'm just like infatuated with her. Thanks for the help, please keep it coming.

[BazookaMike]

I can relate to that. When Melonie and I met for the first time we didn't work for reasons beyond our control (take note, It was out of my control). I went out with a different girl some months latter. I couldn't get Mel out of my head and I didn't even try to make it work with the other girl. I told Miranda that I just wasn't ready to start dating right now. That wasn't the complete truth, I really wanted Mel. My first and only date with this girl was a pity date. She seemed inferior to Mel at the time. But you know what? I'll never know that for sure.

 

Two Years latter I get an unexpected call from Mel, and I go for it. Some of the best 4 months ever, but ironically the demise of the relationship played out in simalar way as before, no control. So now I'm three years later and now Mel and I are even worse off. She thinks less of me now, to her I was just another guy. I denied myself the warning signs of that relationship because I wanted it to work so very bad. She was in control over me. We've broken all ties now. So now for the first time in three years I'm free of her.

 

With Miranda I was in control I just didn't know it because I was blinded by thoughts of Melonie. But that Melonie's influence was only in my head. All I'm saying is this, think about why you would give up a new girl over being at the mercy of something out of your own control. Its not really yours to decide if you want her so bad that you say things like "When I'm around her, I'm like a better person". Trust me on this, it's a lie. Because I've said the same thing. So Wake-up or take a chance of waking up hurt when this girl, which you want so bad, flexes that control.