Time for a break?!

[foxxxyliss]

Ive been dating this guy for 6 months and the past couple weeks we've been biting eachothers heads off over stupid little things, like wearing a sweatshirt and being on the phone or what show on tv to watch! Yeah its pathetic, but it feels like we're both changing n we dont appreciate eachothers company anymore n we just fight! He says he loves me n i love him back. Im thinking about taking a break from him so we can cool off, but what if that makes it worse!? Has anyone been in a situation like this before!!? If so, what did you do!? Thanks for any help! xoxo Lyssa

[sonjam]

Lyssa, usually when you start dating sombody you are initially in the "heneymoon" phase. Both of you put your best foot forward, you try and impress and please the other person. Later when you get more comfortable with the other person you start letting you hair down, and this is when you true colours shine through. The trick is to compromise. No two people are alike, and we all have the things that irritate us easily, or we just have a bad day at work, or whatever, and it it easiest to take it out on the closest available (comfortable) person, our spouse/boyfriend.

 

Taking a break at this point is admitting defeat. If you don't want to be in the relationship any more - call it quits. Otherwise this is the time you have to start WORKING on the things that bug you, or giving each other room to be themselves in the relationship. Taking a break is not the answer, if you are together 7 years, or worse, married, what do you do then, take a break?? NO! You work it out. This is the fun of having a relationship, it's not just all fun and love, it's dedication, work and commitment. \

 

Hope you find the golden midway!~

[a.d.c.]

Yeah that honeymoon period of the 1st couple of months that everyone experiences is starting to wear off in your relationship. It happens in most relationships.

 

Don't take a break though. It's counter productive. Instead have a talk with him about this. Agree on trying to work on this or trying to minimize the stupid arguments.

 

See if things change for the better. If they stay the same then start considering whether to break up with him.

 

Just do what it takes to make you happy(your well being).

That's what's most important. There's plenty of other people out there.

 

And yes, I've been in this situation.

It grows to be a hassle and very tedious.

Something a relationship isn't supposed to be. Right?

[melrich]

I agree with sonjam. If you take a break every time a relationship gets a bit difficult, you'll never laern how to get through the bad times. Stay with it and you'll soon know whether the relationship is good for the long term.

[OceanEyes]

You're obviously spending more time together than either of you can handle right now. I've been there, and it doesn't get easier by talking or trying to analyse things (just in my experience).

 

Let me guess, after you've spent a few days together, every little thing he does starts to annoy you. Even the most ridiculous things like his taste in television, the way he laughs to what to eat for dinner. You're in each other's laps too much right now, and are probably starting to feel like the old 'ball and chain' is getting old.

 

Taking a break may be a bit extreme, but try to spend at least 3-4 days apart for a while (if you can). Not only will this give both of you a chance to live your own lives and not be constantly observed, but believe me, you'll start missing each other. When you do spend time together, you will really appreciate it and be less inclined to bicker and point out each others' flaws.

 

Having personal space and time to be on your own is essential to many people. Try not to hit a 'comfort zone'; which means don't just sit around night after night. Keeping things alive will probably be dependent on both of you having enough space and freedom to yourselves.

 

If, even after spending several days apart, you still find yourself going for his throat over any little thing, he's probably just not for you.