Commitment phobia and No contact

[Riles84]

Do you guys think that No contact with my commitment phobic ex would make her realize more what she lost .. rther than staying in touch? I statred doing NC with her 2 weeks ago, and in tht time, she has emailed me asking why i ahvent been talking to her, and on 3 separate occasion, i have logged onto MSN and she has been on, and within a second she is messeging me saying hi, and why we havent talked and what not. Any thoughts guys. I think she loves me but is supressing her feelings out of fear.

[DN]

In this case I would recommend not going n/c but just reply in a cool, somewhat distant manner. Don't reply immediately, when you do be friendly but not intimate. Don't spend a long time chatting, be brief and to the point, but not rude or dismissive.

 

This way, you let her know that the relationship is slipping away and that if she does want you she's better get her act together before you are gone entirely.

 

If you go no contact, she may withdraw altogether. This way, you keep yourself in her mind but she cannot be sure of your feelings.

 

If she does want to get back together, make sure that you let her know you will not give her a third chance. And guard your heart.

[desperatlyconfused17]

Im in almost the same kind of thing... my ex is a commitment phobic too, but he's kinda ignoring me and i dont like it...

I think you should be straight forward with her... tell her that you want a relationship but you dont want to wait forever for her... it's the simplest way and your not breaking her heart... your letting her make the choice of wheither or not she's ready

if she says she's not ready for a relationship then just be friends with her... maybe one day she will be ready and you'll be there to give her support but dont waste your life waiting on her to be there!!

[Riles84]

Ya but her actions in the last 2 weeks, of always tryna talk to me, shows me that NC is workng, casue she msut be starting to miss me. Maybe this way she will realize that she CAN loose me alltogether. Casue she watned to be friends, but I cant do that.

[DN]

Ya but her actions in the last 2 weeks, of always tryna talk to me, shows me that NC is workng, casue she msut be starting to miss me. Maybe this way she will realize that she CAN loose me alltogether. Casue she watned to be friends, but I cant do that.

 

Then if you think it is working, keep it up.

[GATSBY]

I agree with DN....its sound advice. Strange why some people respond when another backs off. Its unfortunate that dating has to be such a "game"....but , it is what it is.

[Riles84]

Im confused .. what do you guys take from this. Sound like she misses me, or what do you think. No contact working ?

[DN]

what did she say when she broke up with you?

 

I guess she may be interested but the only way you will know is to ask her.

 

Why don't you just say that if she wants to restart the relationship then you would be interested, but friendship only is not what you want right now. If she doesn't want a relationship then walk away and go back to no contact, get over her and find someone new.

[Riles84]

She never really told me why, jsut said she didnt feel the same way about me as she used to

[Riles84]

Also i tried talking to her about getting badck together twice, but every time i talked to her she just felt pressured and seemed to drift farther from me. But now that i have stopped contact with her, she cant handle it it seems like