What would YOU do? :/

[traz]

I'm going to tell you guys about the situation I'm in. I'm curious how you guys would proceed from this, if it was you in this situation

 

Like every other story, I like this girl. About 5 months ago, it got out that I liked her, and it made its way to her through friends. No, I didn't try and get it to her, it just happened. At the time I didn't really know her and I rarely talked to her, but I was attracted to her. After hearing that I might like her, she told one of her close friends that she didn't like me in that way, and of course, that news made its way to me.

 

So, I knew that she didn't want to pursue anything with me. Cool, I was fine with that, I barely knew her anyway. But ever since then, she has been very friendly with me. Back then we never talked and she was very shy, so getting her to say anything was hard. However, since then, we've been talking more and more, to the point where she im's me everyday and is always wanting to talk to me. She's become very friendly, and opened up to me alot.

 

In the process, I like her even more now. And I can't help but think that maybe, because she has gotten to know me and is always trying to talk to me, that just MAYBE she feels differently about me too. But it could just be wishful thinking on my part.

 

So basically...I Kno that this girl has said that she DIDN'T like me before, but I also know that she's become MUCH friendlier and close to me since that point. A part of me, however foolish it may be, believes that maybe she's changed her feelings. Is this possible at all? If any of you were in MY place, would you risk asking her out given what she said 5 months ago?

 

Any comments are great, thanks!

[tiger_lilies]

Well I would suggest that you use your intuition here. Does she flirt with you? Or is it just friendly-type conversations?

 

I am of the opinion that if a girl likes you, you'll know from the way she hints to you by how she flirts with you.

If she just likes you as a friend only, well then I think that's when it might be confusing to the male because you're not sure which way to go.

 

Why don't you ask her if she is dating anyone? And if she would like to date you...something along those lines anyway. Be straight forward with her. She obviously took notice of you when she found out about your crush on her....I think it's a good sign that she made effort to get to know you better. Go for it! Good luck!

[AngelOfDarknes]

does she flirt?

[randy]

well I think its always better to asume the girl DOES NOT like you. There really is no sign in there that says she likes you romantically. More like a friend.

 

I think maybe start hanging out with her and spending time with her. Take it to the next level.

 

But I would not ask her out as yet. After the relationship starts to develop more and you see more definite signs. Right now, I think she sees you as a friend.

[djedix]

Maybe she knows you like her, and now she's getting to know you alot better, and she might have a thing. Assume she doesnt, but Hang out with her more, and and be nice to her. Does she flirt? Looks like she's got intrest in you, if she's iming you everyday....

[traz]

Regarding flirting:

 

Short answer: No she doesn't really flirt, other than some glances from accross the room, always talking, etc.

 

Long answer: She's not really the flirting type. She's incredibly shy and conservative, and being playful isn't really her way.

 

We do hang out quite a bit, as we're in the same group of friends. In fact, the last time we went out to someones house, 4 of us were watching tv on a bed. I ended up lying my head in her lap, and then I got up and kind of said sorry, because I know she's not really the...intimate or physical type. Again, she's not playful or touchy ever really. But then she said "no no its ok" and then we pretty much stayed with my head in her lap until we left.

 

So basically, the next level isn't hanging out with her, as we're there already. The next level would be hanging out with her ALONE, or asking her out heh

 

Thanks for all the quick responses btw

[Strandysmommy]

Well, there could be a couple of things up. Maybe she didn't want to pursue things with you at the time because she didn't know you very well. I mean I myself would rather get to know a person before I pursue something above friendship. Maybe since it's been, what 5 months, maybe she is starting to feel different; BUT BE WARNED, she could just be like "oh I didn't know he even existed, that's really sweet he likes me like that. I'll get to know him anyways". I would assume nothing, you should ask her if she wants to get together some time...totally platonic. Go for coffee/doughnuts/ice cream/milk and cookies. Whatever, I mean if she's comfortable enough to chat it up with you, I would guess she'd maybe be ok with spending time with you as well. Just give it a shot, and don't have any expectations at all.

[DropToZero]

Yea, dont assume just because you've become better friends that she's really interested now. If you want my advice, next time, dont lay in her lap tho haha. Um....if she's not flirting a lot with you, then you shouldn't be touching her really. If's she's okay with hugging you etc...then its not that bad of a thing. If you do like her still...as much as it is driving you crazy on the inside I'm sure...DO NOT tell her. DO NOT tell anyone..none of your friends etc...they will tell her.

 

What you need to do is intiate flirting, start talking more, tease her some....get her to the point where she wants to touch you, whether it be like a playful hit for teasing her about something or just a touch. Don't turn into a suck up and be nice to her all the time....be yourself, be a man, and have fun.

[Day_Walker]

Unless she is giving you clues that she is interested in you. I wouldnt bother asking her what her feelings are. She has to show you something more than what can be considered friendly behavior. If you cant tell if she likes you or not then you dont have any evidence to pursue this any further. She has already told you what you need to know, being friends with her and getting to know her better was only going to increase your initial attraction. I would distance yourself from her until you can just think of her just as a friend.

[Kitz]

I'm in the same situation as that girl. Sort of.

 

So, I find out that he likes me. When I was told it sort of caught me a bit off-guard, so I was just like, oh, um, yeah, i'm sure he does I kept getting pestered about it that night at the party, like, did I like him and all that. I really didn't know what to say, so I was just like.. he's hot and all.. but yeah, I dont know. (I have to admit i've never talked to this guy before, we're both quite shy around eachother.)

 

So, this has been translated back to him as she doesn't like you. Great, and he's really hot, too! So anyway, after I got over the inital awkwardness thing , i've been talking to him quite alot and trying to flirt and all that.. I've even told my best friend that I wasn't interested in him, before I found out she was actually friends with him too. Bugger. So yeah.. don't believe what other people say -- look at her actions and figure it out for yourself. ;D

[Santa]

Seeing as news went back and fourth indirectly, I don't really think that news can be trusted. I think perhaps she may of liked you, but was unsure if you really liked her because you didn't tell her, and maybe she was embaressed or unsure about how she felt for you. To be honest, the only way you can know for sure is a direct one to one convo.

The way I see it, she's either getting friendly with you because she perhaps wants to start a relationship with you, or atleast check you out, or she knows you like her (or thinks she knows), so shes going to twist you around her finger, and basically use you. I know girls like that, and openly critise them.