We Agreed to Take It Slow

[Ccottom]

Broke up 4 weeks ago, it hurt us both. We were practically twins, identical in every aspect of our lives, could never be parted, willing to sacrifice everything for each other.

 

We broke up over her getting cold feet and pulling out of moving in together after i had put all the money down for this property. Which i then lost. I walked away because i was so hurt i took it as she didnt want to be with me so i ran away thinking that i wouldnt be hurt anymore.

 

Leaving her and being away from her hurt me a lot more. But i was so stubborn i couldnt bring myself to ask for her forgiveness and to come back. She is also stubborn and refused to speak to me to, she moved with her friend straight away and convinced herself that our relationship was awful to help herself get over it. It worked to an effect, she convinced herself i was somebody that i wasnt, and she was feeling over that guy she imagined me being.

 

Eventually i reached out to her, i couldnt take waiting around and we had been apart for 4 weeks, no contact. I text her and arranged a phone call, on the phone we arranged meeting up.

 

We met up last night, we was expecting it to be awkward and to sit around like "you okay? Yeah, you? Yeah" end of convo. But it wasnt, we ended up chatting for 5 hours together non stop about our lives, past jokes, new things going on, and what has happened before. We both realised we missed each other and i wasnt the guy she convinced herself i was to get over me. We talked for that long that we both missed our trains, we missed he last trains, she had to get a taxi and i had to wait till first morning train.

 

Walking out of the cafe it was cold, i took my coat off and gave it her but she refused, she then held my hand and we hugged, then she got in a taxi with me to drop me at my station. She leaned on me as if to rest her head on my shoulder, i put my arm around her, we kissed, and we kissed quite passionately for the whole 10 minute taxi ride and agreed to meet again friday to see where we go from here. I said that i want to be with her, but aftr so much has gone on with the break up i want to take it slow, not rush into anything, take it as it comes. She "agreed" from what i remember but i had a feeling it was an "not saying yes or no yet" agreement. She is ridiculously stubborn like that, she puts up such massive walls between her and emotions that she is so scared to go back.

 

We have texted all day when available since then though, both being at work. Im scared that ive fallen for this girl again though while she isnt as invested in me. I dont want to go in to strong and push her into this while she doesnt want anything and would rather move on too.

 

How would anyone else go about this situation? Are things looking positive? I dont want to push her away but i dont want to lose her and i dont want to force her into anything she doesnt want, im not good at reading what people want.

[msbrunette]

"not saying yes or no yet" agreement. She is ridiculously stubborn like that, she puts up such massive walls between her and emotions that she is so scared to go back.

 

Everything I posted on your last thread, I still believe strongly.

Sounds like she thinks you have something to prove to her and I guess you'll be taking the begging route as I guessed.

Good luck OP.

[Ccottom]

Yeah you were pretty right with what you said, but she would have the chip on her shoulder being the one that got dumped and like she said yesterday, i left and didnt say a word to her about why or a word after.

[allibaidoo4]

I'm going to answer this because I am in the same situation only difference is my ex dumped me twice and would not give me a reason till a week or two months later. Right now your ex is really scared of getting hurt again. So, you kind of have to go at her pace for a little while. Don't really express your feelings to her unless she asked or unless you feel she is stringing you along. Continue to show through your actions that you want to be with her and put forth the effort. I also think that you, eventually need to talk to her about her cold feet. She really needs to understand why she got cold feet and how that made you feel.