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Should i give it more time or is it already over?


Zuzii

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Ill try to make this a brief as possible. My ex and i started dating our junior uear of high school and dated almost 3 years. Our relationship was good but not perfect. The best way to explain it ending is that it was either grass is greener syndrom or just a lost spark, we stopped joking around and fell into a routine. Weve been broken up for almost 4 months about a month into the break up we brefly got in contact, and immediatly fell back in and thought sex must surly bring him back so i allowed ot to happen. He made it clear that we were just friend but in my head i created something different, i broke a boundry after that and went theough his phone finding texts with other girl. He got very upset and in all honesty i dont blame him. So i started no contact and lasted a whole month and began working on myself finding hobbies, seeing old friend trying to find me again and i think its worked out great. When i hit about a month no contact he started reaching out in the middle of the night so i figured hes coming around, but i decided to leave it be and see. Last week im hanging out with his aunt(we are close friends) and he offers to drive me home after. He started crying and saying how he needs to change this and that and hes talked to girls but he tells them he loves me and would marry me but is scared of hurting me. He held my hand said he knew he needed to do better and we should start seeing eachother once in a while casually at first i thought that was great because he has lots of family issues and we can work through things together. He came to see me the next day and was eager to spend time with me. And told his aunt he knew he needed to get back with me. Last night he asked me to hangout again and everything was fine he hadnt tried to kiss me or anything of that sort which i appreciate because last time he was asking for stuff so i knew this was diffrent and he isnt using me, but he started saying how i cant really be all on him about where he is since im only a friend. Now after that first day this threw me off so i started kinda crying and questioning him, he kept saying i wanna be with you i wanna marry you just im not ready. And saying things like im sure you can find another guy who will sweep you off your feet like i did minus the bull you gotta deal with being with me. I told him he needs to forgive himself for our breakup and that if he doesnt wanna hurt me he wont thats not his decision to make if i choose to give it another go, and i get him needing time and i get us having to rebuild this but it got complicated when i asked if he wanted to date other people. He said maybe now this is where im confused i understanding needing time i understand taking things slow but wanting to date other poeple changes the story a bit. He kept saying we cann still see each other i still wanna do all the fun stuff we have planned(bowling ect.). He kept switching back and forth between i wanna be with you just not yet because i know ill mess this up and telling me that hes sure i can find someone better.Im not sure if he only feels that way because he thinks he doesnt deserve me or because he simply has diffrent feelings for me now than he used to.is it possible for him to love me deeply yet still want to explore i know for guys its diffrent and i know we are still young which is why im trying to be understanding.im not even sure if he will date other poeple it just sucks because i want nothing to do with anyone else yet he might be considering trying out other girls.

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