I've blown it, what should I do!!

[Nirvana1995]

This is going to be a long thread, but please bear with me on this, I haven't had much feedback on other forums. During the past few 3 months, I've grown to like this Girl who is in my University class. She's only in a handful of my classes, so I only get to see her 2-3 times a week. Here is how this all started though, I realy think I've blown it!!

 

I started interacting with this Girl (Let's use the name Jenny) during the first week of University, this was because we had to be paired with people, and just basically get to know them, we were talking fine, we talked about the course, Music, TV Shows etc. I didn't know her enough at this point, it was just us talking because we were paired up.

 

2 weeks later I forgot about this person, don't really recall seeing her until I noticed her making glances at me every few minutes in class one day, I was being paranoid because I am not a confident guy at all, She was opposite me in class, and she was staring continously, but she was smiling, and when I would look at her, she would maintain the gaze, and not look away.

 

2 Days later then, I got into class early, and there was only like 3 people there, then Jenny just comes in and asks "Hey...... how are you, you mind if I join you? Bear in mind that she could have sat anywhere she wanted, there were only 3 people there, and they were girls too. We were both early, she even asked if I remembered her and everything, and she seemed really excited because I renembered her name. Here are some things I noticed from when we were talking that day.

 

She would giggle or smile at anything I'd be saying

She seemed really talkative

She would often stare at my lips or eyes when I would be talking

She would ask me questions.

She would talk really fast around me

She'd smile and stare after I would say something.

She'd talk about her friends and family a lot around me.

 

She's in my Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday class but for some reason, she would only sit by me on Thursdays. I noticed on the other days, I would be with my friends, and she would often sit near me, make eye contact and then look at the floor. This continued for the next few weeks.

 

Another time not long later, I met her conincidentally outside my tutos office, we were talking for ages and she seemed really bubbly and talkative to me since it was just us 2 there. She even confided in me, and said that she feels like she's alone on the course, and that she has nobody to talk too. I said something like "You got me to talk too" and she smiled and seemed really flustered. She also has never mentioned anything about her having a boyfriend.

 

This is when it started to go downhill, This was around early November. I didn't see her for a few days again. After all the previous signs she was giving me, I was contemplating whether to ask her for a Coffee, and to this day I still haven't. (Social Anxiety and Confidence for you) She sat by me on Thursday again, and she seemed really standoffish, this is when she stopped smiling, she was talking to me but not making eye contact with me for a while, halfway through the lesson, she picked up and started becoming more chatty, she left a little subtle hint, but me being the moron I am, didn't make the move.

 

She said something like "Hey it's Bonfire Night tonight, there's.....um...... things... going..... on at the uni........ i'm thinking of meeting my friend there" and all I said was "That sounds like fun, enjoy! and she just said thanks without looking at me and walked off.

 

After this we only talked for two more Thursdays, and just weren't the same. She would smile and say hi, but she always seemed nervous when I'd be talking to her.

 

for the last two weeks in University, me and her missed quite a bit of time, on the Tuesday whenever I'd have my back turned, she would be looking at me, but as soon as I'd look, she'd look away, she even hovered around me as I was leaving, at this point we just had blown contact with each other, it was just continous staring games and hovering games. During the last week, she even stopped sitting by me, yet continued to look. I'd catch her looking when I'd have my back turned,and as soon as I'd look she would look away straight away.

 

Another thing that happened during the last week was that the tutor was going around asking people when they can do one on one interviews, and this girl Jenny picked the exact same day and week as me around a similar time, maybe it's a conincidence but the tutor asked her after I just signed the sheet for my time.

 

There's probably a lot more, and I'm hoping to get back on talking terms with her when I go back in January. She is Single too by the way, and this is a little irelevent, but she used to be really big too a few years ago, she doesn't really talk too anyone on the course, just says hi to a few people and that's it. She also never volunteers for anything during class either, she seems really shy, but she has told me that she goes out with friends often who are in hee other course.

 

One thing that puts me off too is that she never accepted my Facebook request, she hasn't accepted it or ignored it. I cancelled it after a week.

Everyone who I know has told me it's good signs, but some people have said that it looked like she liked me, but I never made the move, and she's unsure if I like her back, maybe she's just not interesed alltogether. Hoowever I want us to be on talking terms again, I don't want this awkwardness between us, so do you think I should try and talk to her again in January. I really don't mind if me and her end up just being friends.

 

TBH I really like this Girl, but dring the last few months, I have had family problems too, my parents recently split up, and I feel like it's affected my confidence, I've always been shy arund women, and I often think that they can do much better. I have a habit of overthinking .

 

Another thing too is that she seemed really confident towards me the first couple of weeks, but she later got more quieter, and she seemed to stutter and get flustered more often around me. Anyway sorry for the long thread guys, I probably missed out some other stuff too, please let me know what you think. Thanks!! And I hope everyone's having a great Christmas

[missmarple]

It seems like she was interested in you and since you never asked her out, she gave up on you. My advice is that if you plan on asking her out, sure, talk to her again. If not, I wouldn't bother...because it doesn't sound like she's interested in being friends.

[Nirvana1995]

It seems like she was interested in you and since you never asked her out, she gave up on you. My advice is that if you plan on asking her out, sure, talk to her again. If not, I wouldn't bother...because it doesn't sound like she's interested in being friends.

 

 

If she's given up, why would she still continue to linger/hover around me as I'm leaving class? And the eye contact games too, I always catch her looking when I'm not looking her way, I just notice from the corner of my eye.

 

I need to initiative a conversation with her when I go back to university. Its awkward though because my friends are often with me, and she's usually by herself.

[missmarple]

I need to initiative a conversation with her when I go back to university. Its awkward though because my friends are often with me, and she's usually by herself.

 

So what if your friends are with you? Go to her and just say hey, how are you today?