how do you know if your man is cheating?

[bellaBH]

How do you know if your man is cheating? Are there any classic signs?

[GettingOverIt]

I would look for things like a drastic change in behavior from his 'norm.' Other things could be breaking plans consistently, or suddenly making himself unavailable... Look for 'secretive' behaviour... If you are or have been with him while he is online, is he suddenly hiding windows when you come in? Is he taking phone calls in the other room or does he excuse himself when he gets a cell call (where maybe before he didn't excuse himself)? Has he picked up a new hobby or interest that he never expressed interest in before?

 

I am not saying these are all 'tell-tale' signs, but some things to look for...

 

Have you asked him stright-up if there is another person? What gives you the idea there might be another?

[arwen]

Oprah once had some brilliant things:

 

* They will suddenly smell like soap all the time

* They love to wash their own clothes

* It is very necessary to take a cellphone with you to the toilet

* Being overly sweet or overly mean, picking fights (over petty things)

* Suddenly more sex, or less sex

 

In fact I am not really adding substiantially to the former poster

 

I have no idea, I have never been married or cheated on (as far as I know of course). Are you scared your man is cheating, or has he cheated in the past and do you fear he is doing it again?

 

take care girl,

 

Ilse.

[sisterlynch]

I have a good one: all of a sudden he will use very different laguage or worry more about his Ps and Qs. He may have a big silly grin on his face.

 

He may start to criticize you out of the blue or be very distant, then cranky if you notice he is distant. He may try and avoid family get togethers, and for get about your birthday, etc. and act really shallow.

 

His friends and coworkers will avoid talking to you.

[Ontario]

He may have a big silly grin on his face.

 

Aw, dam.n I always have a silly grin on my face.

[DN]

He may have a big silly grin on his face.

 

Aw, dam.n I always have a silly grin on my face.

 

then take your hands out of your pockets!!

[bellaBH]

LOL!! me too! (about the grin not the pockets )

[DragonGirl724]

some signs are:

 

*showering noticeably more often

*working over night or extremely long hours at the office, then you calling & him 'always being in a meeting at those times'

*more & more 'nights out w/ the boys' aka 'nights out w/ the girl(s)' (NOT SAYING EVERY GUY CHEATS WHEN HE SAYS HES OUT W/ HIS BOYS!) but when its a suspicious amount of times in a week.

*being distant (sexually, emotionally, & physically)

*not having sex w/ you as much

*smelling differently

*suspicious spendings on credit card bills & bank statements

*lying about even small things on a regular basis

*very protective of his cell phone

*late nights on chat rooms/on phone

*mood swings

*washing his clothes & sheets more often

*new habits (smoking/drinking/drugs etc)

*new friends you're never able to meet

*stuttering & hesitation when confronting him on any of the above

 

thats just my 2 cents.....

 

-DG724

[sisterlynch]

Isn't that big silly grin from being over-stimulated? Maybe it isn't always coming from guilt, but I just threw that out there, and maybe it doesn't always apply to everyone....

[February14]

He will start taking interest in his clothing and how he looks, may work out more, unexplained late meetings, cell phone locked and bills hidden.

Cash out of account from ATM so money spent not tracked. Very happy at times and other times a grouch, picks fights for no reason, goes for a ride or private places to make calls, your sex life picks up or gets worst depending on his mood. He will feel guilty and not look you in the eyes, he may lose weight from stress, listens to love songs and is in la la land.

Just a few signs and many more to come.

[sisterlynch]

If the original poster is still on, what are some of the signs that she is seeing that she is concerned about?

[birdgirl]

Ohhh, the soap thing is a big one. And yeah, unfortunately, more nights out with the boys or at work are another. Also, if he starts coming up with things that seem like they could be gifts. If he comes home smelling cleaner than he left... if the trips to the store take ridiculously long. If he's suddenly working more...

 

But really, your gut is the best thing to listen to.

[sisterlynch]

The real thing to think about is how is he treating you, and if you have children how is he treating them. Just working late and going out with the boys more on its own isn't so bad. It is the amount of time that he gives to you and his time at home, if it is quality or not.

[master philanderer]

There are some signs. But keep in mind that all men are different. I am finishing up a book on the "how to's" of cheating. An expierenced cheater knows how to cover his tracks quite well. He's a good actor and he always knows the right things to say and do to keep you from getting too suspicious. However, if you do have legitimate suspicions, your man probably is cheating. This is one area where the following quote applys about 98% of the time..."where there's smoke, there's fire". Be aware of the small changes (if any) in the way he interacts with you. Think about what may be missing in the relationship that may cause him to stray in the first place. Good luck.

[Abacab]

Hate to jump in.... But, I believe that sometimes love can make you blind and/or oblivious to the tell-tale signs of cheating, and thereforeeee you may never be able to catch a cheater. Especially if he's a clever one at that!

[sisterlynch]

The truth is that you never really know until it is time to know. This is how we gain experience in this world, is by waiting and wondering and predicting. When we notice a change, there may be other things that are going on...we really shouldn't jump to conclusions.

 

Also, this is a big one, stories should make sense. Think about what he is saying when he comes home late. Tell him that you worry about him, and that he should have a cell phone that you can get in touch with him if he is late.