Broken

[Ontario]

It seems like yesterday

that you said "I love you"

Now you're gone, I'm all alone

imprisoned in my mind

 

I try to recollect

find out where I went wrong

I havent a shard of sanity

to my name

 

It seems like you tore a void

into my very soul

Bottomless, empty, hollow,

Nothing's there

 

I feel like you impaled my heart with an icicle

Icy cold, melt away,

leave me broken, shattered, wasted

Where did I go wrong?

You left me soulless, heartless

an empty, broken shell of a man

Disregarded, tossed aside

and I've nothing to say

 

And in my mind, you won't go away

 

I'm not much of a writer...It started out an attempt at a song, and failed miserably. There's not beat or rhythm to it, but it made sense, I think.

[boredguy]

its a really deep poem. u seem to have the same slight problem that i have with my poetry...use of cliche...

into my very soul

apparently the use of such cliche makes the poem lose much of its value. i knw cuz i have the exact same line in a poem of mine that a professional poet/now friend read and gave me advice on.

[ang3l2004]

That was a great poem keep writing!