Missing him like crazy, but he said hurtful things?

[Person1001]

I do not plan on going back or contacting my ex, he has contacted me telling me he loves me and misses me. My ex said some extremely hurtful things to me in our last 2 arguments where I decided enough was enough and I left him. I was extremely concerned about "our" future as he has absolutely no goals or interests, pretty much just vegetating, he wanted to marry me, yet never made any effort to move forward. I love enjoying each day, but I'm always thinkng about what I want to do next, setting tiny goals for myself. During those arguments I was called selfish and mean even though I approached him in non judging way. Coming from a person who told me I was the only person who ever cared about him in such a loving and genuine way was painful. I also approached him about being taken for granted, I couldn't pin point why I felt that I just felt as though he started to make a lot less effort for me. When I told him that he told me that I should maybe find someone better, after all he is just another guy. I told him I was crazy about him in the sense that I never wanted another guy and I wanted to work through our problems because I love him. He didn't like that I was crazy about him and told me that I cannot depend on the relationship to be happy. I am happy about life, but the relationship was a part of that happiness (a big part sadly). I would never tell a person I loved that I was just another girl, this is a man who I went out of my way to care for. Did he ever care about me?

[moreover]

I think he does care about you but he says hurtful things because he has low self esteem or he might even be depressed.

 

Honestly, I don't think you're compatible. You can't force him to be more ambitious or try to change his personality or make him more driven.