How do I beat this?

[under_the_pressure]

I use to be the type of person where I could walk in a room and the people around didn't bother me. I could walk into stores and my stomach wouldn't turn wondering, "What will they be saying when I walk off."

 

Now, I don't like going in stores if I know there are a lot of people in them. Today I had a doctor's appointment and I thought I was going to have to go by myself and I was so nervous. I repeated the steps over and over in my head. I just don't like being around people.

 

I want to overcome this. I'm trying to become a new person, change my outlook on life, but I have to be able to face people. I have to be able to talk to people and not be scared of going into places on my own.

 

I thought I could do it on my own, I didn't think I would have to post about it. But, I do need input because I don't know what to do.

 

I think I have developed stomach problems because of the stress and anxiety of this. The way my stomach tightens, so I do need to over come this. I want to. I'm ready to.

 

I just need help, and ways to. Thanks for any input.

 

under*

[mtastic]

hi under,

 

Good for you on deciding to take steps toward improving yourself.

 

I guess if you want to get used to being around more people, the best way to do that is to start getting out and going places where you'll be exposed to more people. Like maybe next time you go to the mall, try going into a store thats a little more crowded than what you usually go into. Go in for just five minutes or so, just to prove you can do it, next time, go in there for longer, after that, find some place even more crowded to go into just for a short time. I think the trick with getting over a fear like this is to start small, and gradually confront it in larger and larger doses, so you can build up your comfort level in those kind of situations. I mean, you probobly don't want to go out and spend an entire day in times square (honestly I think that would be traumatic for just about anyone, let alone someone who dislikes large groups of people). Gradulay conditioning is the key to this I think: you want to show yourself that these situations are really not as bad as you think they're gonna be, and the best starting point for that is a situation where you think you'll only be slightly uncomfortable.

 

I hope that helped,

mtastic

[chicagoboy]

i had the same problem. just get a little more above the line and you'll adjust. like beg for money on the streets of a popular place like i did in chicago. you got to set the bar higher and then it'll be easy to walk to stores. get a retail job or a job that deals with lots of people.

[jackknive]

Sounds like my bro. He has social anxiety disorder. Takes a few pills, no big deal, feels way better. Ask your dr.

[under_the_pressure]

like beg for money on the streets of a popular place like i did in chicago. you got to set the bar higher and then it'll be easy to walk to stores. get a retail job or a job that deals with lots of people.

 

Either you don't understand where I'm coming from on this, or I totally have no idea why you put that in there. I just wouldn't feel comfortable "begging" And it is quite hard for a 14 year old to get a retail job or any job around where I live.

 

Takes a few pills, no big deal, feels way better. Ask your dr.

 

I don't want to cure this with medicine. I know there is another way. Everyone is beginning to think pills solves everything these days, and I know I can do it, if someone just gives me a sense of direction.

 

Thanks for any further input.

 

under*

[marolua]

First, I appreciate your courage in facing your problems with other people.

 

I think you have made the first step, identifying your problem and wanting to change it. But as you might guess changing oneself is one of the hardest things in the world, despitre everyone saying that it is possible right away!

 

Trying to overcome this problem gradually and about taking pilss I agree with you. I once had a major depression together with panic attacks, and I know how it is hard to force yourself with being with other people. you should first understand whether this is personal trait of yours, which is possibly not because even the most asocial person can pretend to be with people even for a short time(I do).

 

It might be sort of a disease a depression or panic attack or stg. like that, which would make it a big harder to overcome.

 

But there are still ways, whenever you feel lost(irritated, nervous), take deep breaths, just imagine that you are FINE, since you are actually fine, only your brain is telling you there is some sort of a danger, but actually you are not your brain, it is just a thinking mechanism of yours.

 

I think everything will get better for you, acknowledge that you are in the midst of a tunnel, and although it may be hard to see a light at the end of it, keep walking.

Good Lock