He picked her but he can t stop thinking about me?

[lachhhelly]

So I talked to this guy for 2 months and I first I didn t like him and he was talking to some other girl for a year. I told her to just ask her out cause at the time he was just a friend. Then I started to have feelings and he admitted the same. He just kept saying he was confused. He eventually picked me and then he saw her at a wedding and went back to her. He told me he likes her and isn t sure if he likes me. He said the reason he broke it off with me was because he promised to go out with her after she is done with school and they ve been talking for a year. He says he thinks about me all the time and always thinks about us and "what if". When he was with me he said he didn t think about her. I know I need to move on and I am but I just want to know if you genuinely like someone would you keep thinking about someone else? Wouldn t it mean something if you can t stop thinking about the person but when you were with them it was only them? I guess at the same time I want I reason to hope we ll get back together.

[Hollyj]

He's a waste of time and playing both of you.

 

So what, if he says he's thinking about you, HE'S NOT WITH YOU! That's all that matters. He's full of crap!

 

Next time, don't allow someone to jerk you around like this.

[Helpfulness]

You shouldn't talk to this person or hope that he'll come back to you.

I've been in a relationship with the same person twice and they broke up with me BOTH times because they found someone they thought was "better". Don't waste time chasing someone that'll surely end up breaking your heart in the end. I've made the mistake of returning back to someone expecting them to change, which they didn't.

 

Hope you're going to be okay! Help is available. Try talking to family, friends or seek professional help.

[Lucia Amman]

I've had this with one guy.. He was deeply in love with his new girlfriend by the time and went NC with me for two months and then suddenly he contacted me again. He said he missed me - was still in love with his girlfriend. I believed him. And I felt sorry for him. I truly believe you can love two or more persons at one time. There was nothing wrong with their relationship even though he still liked me and missed me. But he was wrong though. Wrong for making me feel confused (he didn't but he might have) and having me on a leash. I think he missed me because he was afraid I would find someone else. Guess what: we do. And I understand his feelings because we were good friends before all this too but if you fall in love with each other things change. And if you leave me for someone else: than that's the end. I understand he wanted it all, he wanted me and his girlfriend. I understand he loved her more than me. Otherwise he would still be in a relationship with me. But he still loved me on the friendship level- the don't-go-away-level, the 'I still like you very much to be deeply in love with me' level. It's ego-tripping love he had. What he loved about me was that I loved him. Not ME but the way that I loved him.

 

Luckily I wasn't interested at all anymore and I could see right through his charade of feelings for me. Only if you're completely over him you can keep contact with this childish boy, otherwise leave!

 

I don't think something is wrong with him. The 'what if's' might eat him up but if you give him the cold shoulder he might get rid of those thoughts eventually. He sounds young. And a bit immature for hopping around between you two. I don't think he knows what's really going on for him. And I think you're idealizing your relationship with him.