Arizona or Pennsylvania?

[keeper_of_the_peace]

I'm originally from Pennsylvania but have been living in Arizona for the past 2 1/2 years. I've been with my partner for just over a year now...She has her own share of problems and is also seeing a therapist.

 

Just before Christmas, I came to Pennsylvania...Everyone assumed it was for the holidays, but it was more for an intervention. I won't get into it too much, but basically my therapist in AZ and my family in PA intervened when I got to the point of where I was ready to take my own life. I was hospitalized just after Christmas.

 

Since then, I've been with my family in PA...Everyone thinks it's for the best. They all think that it's important for me to have support while I'm dealing with my problems from the past and now. So obviously I have a new therapist and pyschiatrist here. The process to get me better is going to be a long one...

 

Meanwhile in AZ is my partner. She was the one who initially pushed me to come to PA and get well; she told me herself many, many, many times that she would not be strong enough to give me the support I needed because of the problems of her own that she needs to work on, which is understandable. She said that me getting well would help her to get well...But now, when I talk to her, all she does is ask me when I'm coming back. And she's not taking care of herself. She hasn't gone to her therapist in two weeks, and she's throwing up (She's already lost over ten pounds), and she over exercises.

 

I'm angry, I'm frustrated, and I'm concerned. I don't know what to say anymore or what to do. I feel like she's not keeping her end of the deal...I'm working on my problems and getting the help that I need, and she's going backwards.

 

I don't know if anyone would have any comments or advice on this one...Maybe it's too complicated.

 

Do I go back to AZ to help her but lose the support of my family...Or do I stay here and concentrate on getting myself healthy?

[annie24]

Oh! I'm so sorry to hear that things aren't going well right now. Well, you can't help anyone if you don't help yourself first. Get yourself healthy first. Stay with your family and those people who love you. Tell your partner you love her, but need to work on yourself for a while. If you just had an intervention, it sounds like you need to focus on yourself.

 

Don't feel bad - just take care of yourself first! I hope things start going better for you from now on! Good luck and take care!

[keeper_of_the_peace]

Yeah, my family has also said that I need to put myself first. I guess I'm just worried about my partner...She's been suicidal in the past. I also worry that the distance between us will ruin our relationship. I don't know...

 

BTW, thanks for your reply