Post Your Things to Remember

[ajhurst210]

Maybe it's the vodka talking but In the constant sea of negativity and self loathing I keep getting swallowed up by ever since my ex left me after nearly 3 years together... these are the things I NEED to remember. So many of us are lost in blaming ourselves and hating ourselves and basing our self worth on our exes and our destroyed relationships with them that we forget to stand up for ourselves and all the things we did right in the relationship. I encourage others to reply with lists of their own. Remind yourself of the good things you did. Of the good things about yourself. Of the reasons why THEY lost out on something worthwhile instead of just what you lost out on. Before you lose sight of it all. I know I'm dangerously close to it on a daily basis...

 

1. I never cheated on her. Not physically, not emotionally. I never flirted with or complimented another girl. Not once.

 

2. I never lied to her. I was always honest.

 

3. I never stopped trying. Even when things got their worst, I stayed loyal and committed and would've worked through any problem and crisis with her.

 

4. I was a good and patient influence on her daughter.

 

5. I forgave her for her mistakes. I saw her ugliest sides and STILL chose to stay with her and love her.

 

6. I brought her flowers and gifts and tried constantly to be romantic and SHOW her how much I loved her, not just say it. And I continued to do these things way past the "honeymoon phase"

 

7. I was always myself around her. Never a stranger in front of her or behind her back.

 

8. I never aired our dirty laundry to other people. Never painted her in a bad light in another's eyes. In fact, I stood up for her... always. I always respected her.

 

9. I supported her passion for photography. I never complained when she put it before our realtionship.

 

10. She could've called me, at any time, day or night, for anything in this world. And she would've gotten it.

 

11. Even after she broke my heart, I still love her just as much as I always have.

 

12. I never got physical with her. Not even a slight shove, but she DID get physical with me and my friends and family once.

 

13. She lied to me and herself from the beginning about how she was "over" her ex husband when she was NOT. She texted him throughout our entire relationship and instead of "controlling" her and telling her to stop... I gave her the benefit of the doubt and tried to let her have her freedom at the cost of my own happiness.

 

14. In the mornings when I would wake up hours before her, I would literally lay in bed awake with her until she woke up so I could be with her and so she'd have someone to wake up to.

 

15. When she was around, my full attention was always on her. I didn't spend 90% of my time around her on my phone like she did with me.

 

16. I continued to want us to have date nights and keep the spark going in our relationship. I held doors open for her. I paid for dinners and movies. I was a gentleman.

 

17. I always, ALWAYS let her know just how beautiful she was to me. I complimented her daily. Told her I loved her daily. Showed her I loved her daily. She never had to feel once ounce of insecurity while she was with me. Never.

 

And finally and MOST IMPORTANTLY

 

18. When she left me, it wasn't because of anything to do with me. It wasn't a relflection on me or how I treated her. It was a relfection on her. She had a man who would've laid down his life for her and her daughter. Who would've stayed loyal to her until the very day he died. Who would've continued to put effort into their love life and make her feel beautiful even as she got old and grey. SHE is the one who lost out. NOT ME!!!

 

 

Remember these things Aaron. Remember them.

[FirstIn]

I'm going to reply to this when I can... but I just wanted to say I could almost have written many of the same points.

 

I think too, that you could have written - "but she didn't" to some/many of them

[AllwnGoodNMyLf]

Wow, my list is very similar to yours. I cooked for him, complimented him, supported him, listened to him, made him feel like a man, etc.

 

The bad thing about these lists, at least for me, is that I did all of these things, and he still didn't want to move the relationship forward.

 

No matter how many of these lists I make, they don't help for some reason.

 

I'm cool the way I am, it wasn't a match for him, so good riddance dude! Keep it moving.

 

Sorry you're going through this. It's a pain and almost unbearable at times. Someone shared a really good website on breakups, and I found it useful. Best wishes. Only time will heal.

 

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