Amess Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 I'm in a rather unique situation, and don't really have anyone to talk to about it. I just Broke up with a woman I care very much about. One of the main reasons would be that she has issues with me living with an ex-girlfirend. I live with the Ex, because we bought a house together JUST as friends for financial benefits. To throw in another complication, I work with both of them. AT the beginning of our relation ship, things were weird, and I had to cut my ex out of alot of things we used to do. EVeryone was jealous and it was just weird for a couple months. Then the two girls finally started talking to eachother, and all was good for a while. Until my feelings changed. At first I was all butterly like and mushy and felt good about the relationship. Then all of a sudden things changed. Not sure why, but I'm not the mushy lovey kind of guy, and yet she is, and this became a problem. And so the issue with me living with my ex came up again. The issue comes up because of trust issues she has due to past relationships. So my dilemma is this. Stick with the breakup, (WHich is making me feel really crappy right now, which is expectable in a breakup) or talk to the Ex about going seprate ways... Only problem is were tied to this mortgage for about another 2 yrs. There are pro's and con's to going either way, but I don't know what to base my decision on...I don't want to keep hurting this girl, but when she's gone, I do miss the hell out of her, and find myself second guessing the breakup. It makes it even more difficult because I work with her, so the normal rules to a breakup do not apply. Another thing to throw in the loop is what to do about my current living situation. With the house, money is tight. I'm stuck with a dead end job, and don't forsee things changing if things continue on like this. I do however have the benfits of living in a house. I like my toys, my money is going towards something instead of down the toilet. Money however is tight. If we were to part ways (My ex and I) and say I moved in with the current girlfriend, I'd be going back to apartment life, but would be saving a ton of money, and I'd be with my girl again. I'd even consider going back to school. So as you can see I've got quite the mess to deal with. Need some insight and opinions please! Link to comment
redbabymama Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 well, you do have yourself in a jam.i know if it was me i would hate it if my boyfriend moved in with his ex.well how are the sleeping arrangements? are your beds next to each others? i wish i could help you but i really dont know what to say to you write now.i PROMISE i will get back to you later. good luck! Link to comment
Amess Posted May 31, 2003 Author Share Posted May 31, 2003 Well, I sleep downstairs, and the ex upstairs. I've gotten so used to the lifestyle, that the Girlfirend I jsut broke up with gets cheated. She has an apartment, that I hate going over to. Just feels like a step bacwards to me. I like my house, and she comes over here to stay often, but the ex is always around, so it probably makes things weird for her. Link to comment
bzborow1 Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 Relationships are give and take, so maybe you should give her a little more of something that would benefit her. What I mean is, maybe spend a little more time at her place? Did she know about the arrangement when you met? Link to comment
redbabymama Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 well, if you are sleeping down stairs and shes sleeping upstairs i dont see a problem. Their must be some trust issues in the relationship that you need to address.But if your ex is always around, you might want to talk to her about some visiting arrangments.Like when she has company you go do your thing, and vice versa.I hope this information will help! Good Luck! Link to comment
Amess Posted June 1, 2003 Author Share Posted June 1, 2003 Yes she did know about the arrangements before I asked her out. I was totally upfront with her , and told her things were going to be different from her point of view. There are trust issues on both sides of the relationship. I love the hell out of her, and over the last month or so, this has happened a few times. It's starts over something petty, and then blows up from there. I love the hell outta this girl, and everytime this happens I realize how much I miss/want her in my life. But it's not fair to her that I realize this when we are separated. I call back and say lets talk, and we make things better. Then something petty starts things up again. I don't want to have to be the one calling up saying the same thing again. I don't want to hurt her at all. We also both have issues with talking to eachother openly about things. I believe this is where part of the propblem lies as well. It's not fair to her or I, that when we get upset, immediately we think Breakup. It's just not good! Link to comment
redbabymama Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 well you guys remind me of a couple that i know. here is what you should do next time you see that something petty is about to arise just say "baby,i love you lets not do this today,nethier one of us needs the stress."And that should do the trick! Good Luck! Link to comment
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