Should I give up?

[princesa]

Ok guys, this frum has been a major help before ad hopefully it still is...

 

I've been with this guy for about 8 months, mainly long distance, but with some periods of 1-2 months living together. We've had great time sexually, as friends, travelling, talking, getting to know each others lives and friends etc.

 

For stress at work from his side and some other problems from my side our sex life has been almost inexistent recently - last time we spent together for 10 days we just couldn't find the time or the mood to have sex at all. There is still tenderness and I honestly think we love each other a lot.

 

But this stress and lack of sex and living long distance is just getting to us, and the longer we struggle in this vicious circle, the more it's affecting us. I want to move to his place, he might have wanted that too, but recently he has started to hesitate and prefers me moving closer (I want to move) but in a different flat just in case.

 

 

I feel like s**t. I don't want to lose him or give up, but is there any chance of us finding each ther again and forgetting about the "bad times"? Nw we're breaking up and it HURTS!!!

 

Please help.

 

 

Princesa

[ForAnother]

I guess you have known all his quirks, and now your both kind of tired of one another. The best solution is probably some counselling, however, I think that if you somehow initiate new and exciting things for you two to do together, maybe that will spark some new interests.

 

About the long distance thing... I think that is the most difficult part of anyone's relationship. Being away is always tough, and is the truest test of two people's bonding. If you move closer it would certaintly be better for you both I am sure, yet keep your distance as well as his, because too much of a good thing can turn ugly.

 

I hope I have given some helpful advise, I think that it is the generic response, yet I am young and haven't experienced the "moving in together" idea as of yet.

 

I wish you best of luck,

ForAnother

[princesa]

Thanks.

 

It's really difficult giving up on someone you really love and who hasn't hurt you in anyway. But sometimes circumstances or differences just get in your way.

 

 

How long do you "fight" and try?

 

How do you find that spark again and how do you get from the serious side back to the lighter side where you can enjoy each other without being afraid of what might happen tomorrow?

 

How do you know something like this is just temporary (stress, lack of interest in sex, etc) and doesn't mean the person is not really interested anymore?

 

Do you just move on...ALWAYS?

 

 

Princesa

[Hope75]

I think maybe a good long heart to heart with your bf is an order.

 

Find out how he's feeling about the relationship, where he sees it going, what he'd like to get from it. Then tell him your side of things.

 

I think if you do move closer to him, at least at first your own place would be better. That way you can establish your own life in this new area and not be completely dependant on him, which could add a major strain on an already stressed relationship. Also, your independance will be sexy to him, and it is always good to have your own space. See if you can find a tenant at will agreement or a six month lease, something to get you started.

 

If you guys love one another like you say, than I'm sure he would be willing to talk about things and give it an effort to help make things work for both of you.

[princesa]

Thanks for the advice. Sounds fair enough. It's so good to hear an independent opinion.

 

Princesa