Struggle with breakup and friend involved

[Glamourice]

So my friend set me up with a guy she knew. We dated for a little while and for his bday and we went to a strip club. He had a bit of a past there and spent a good part of the night cuddling with one of his "friends" who danced there at our table and then went into the private rooms with her and another stripper.

 

So stupidly I tried to hang in there with him but eventually bailed. We took a break once before that and my friend reached out to him to check if he was ok. She's known me for way longer and we were way closer like sisters for years. She new him for maybe a year prior? And as more of an acquaintance.

 

I've learned through the grapevine that she is still talking with him and even saying how great he is deep down and how she cares about him. That's a little tasteless after we've traveled together and literally have cried on each other's shoulders over the years (her and I). One of the times this happened was because of him.

 

I know I can't choose her friends but here's the thing: where I live, strippers are cheap relatively and get fully nude on stage and in the rooms. Whatever happens behind the curtains happens. I believe in the states they are just topless and relatively regulated and cost a fortune. So he did do some pretty egregious things here. Isn't this a factor? I'm still upset at him but more so disappointed in her. Will time heal this? I have since backed away from her.

[davekin]

Do you want her to choose between you and the guy?

 

And you're mad at him for being with strippers, at a strip club!!! You were there with him. Forget him, you can't choose who she's friends with.

[cryingalways]

"He had a bit of a past there"

 

Do you want to be with someone who has a past (and also a very present) habit of going to strip clubs? And the fact that he went into a private room with a stripper as well....with you there....

 

No.

 

And your friend sounds stupid to me.

 

I've had friends who've had break ups with people and if they've treated them badly or cheated etc I have sided with the friend who has been wronged.

 

If you're worried she's going to get involved with him, just let them. You can't stop them can you? And if she does THEN you will see her true colours.

[greta96]

The guy is not relationship material, so breaking up with him was the best thing you could have done. He chose to celebrate his b-day in a strip club, and disappeared with 2 strippers in the back room, with you there? That's preposterous! Was he even aware that you two were dating? Cause if he was, there is no excuse for his crass behavior!

 

I'd drop the friend too, she doesn't sound all that loyal to you.

 

There are better people out there to date and befriend.

[Glamourice]

No I'm not worried about them getting involved romantically but aren't her true colors already out in the open. You say she sounds stupid, does that mean drop her in your opinion?