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davekin

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Everything posted by davekin

  1. OP I just got ghosted for weeks, then the official break up via email, all this after a 4 year relationship. It wasn't a good relationship, I made a thread about it here as well. I feel what you are going through. All the advice is easier said than done. One thing for sure is DO NOT LOOK at photos or them on social media. It's damaging and soul crushing. Even if you are feeling good inside and think you can handle it. It's almost like knowing the iron is hot, but you touch it anyways thinking it won't hurt you. It will definitely hurt you, and you already knew it would.
  2. Update! After weeks of not hearing from her "Ghosting", I ran into her friends who were happy to see me. They were shocked and knew nothing of what was happening, they actually told me "she didn't really talk about you at all". The very next day I got an email from my ex. In the tune of "how amazing I am....how many great memories we shared....how perfect I am...but she doesn't want to continue it...etc" That's what I got after being ghosted for weeks after a multi-year relationship. Some days are ok, most are bad. It's been overall awful.
  3. Reading your post and looking back. I was indeed neglecting those close to me, friends and family outside of the relationship. i don't know if it was me assimilating to her ways, or something else. Thank you everyone who has posted. I started seeing a therapist and am on my path of healing myself, and getting stronger. Thank you!!
  4. Thank you so much, your last sentence is echoing out as I read it. I did put myself last from the beginning and it chipped away at me bit by bit.
  5. When I asked the "Will this change, Where do I fit" questions, at first she responded "it won't always be like this" which turned to, "this is the way it is." This is what brought us to this recent holiday season. I know it got dark for me knowing that the end of the relationship was coming.
  6. I remember trying things different with this relationship when it started. I wanted to "work" with the other person and not fall into the traps I always fell in. I would end it with others for the smallest reason, I wanted to think differently with her. I should've also stated that when it was just us, the relationship was good. We did a lot with each other, but again, just us. Time flies, I never questioned how long I had been putting up with everything till the end. She always stated her family time was "her" family time. She didn't want any awkwardness with her dad etc. Maybe it was the age gap, I do not know.
  7. I made a post here almost 4 years ago about an issue I was having in my relationship. I'll post the link below, basically it is how the relationship started, and how it continued to be. The old post dealt with my gf not wanting me to share a room with her and her guy friends for a weekend festival. There was no infidelity but I always questioned my value to my gf in comparison to her friends. We remained together for almost 4 years, but these years were filled with much resentment and unhappiness. I have never met a person who kept me segregated from holidays, work parties, birthdays etc. For all the major holidays she would fly back home to another state and never include me. I've spent every Christmas, New Years and other big events alone. I tried to go home with her many times, but she said it was her family time. I expressed my feelings of being left alone for the holidays year after year. "Will this change?" "Where do I fit in the picture?" I've been cheated on in a previous relationship, that was awful. But this relationship made me feel alone and sad in a different way. I questioned my value and self worth. Has anyone dealt with type of person that keeps you segregated from family, friends, social media? After an awful holiday season, my depression came in full force which led to her ending it in her way. She has ghosted me in all forms and it is killing me inside. I have emailed, called, messaged with no response. I fight everyday not to contact as I love her. https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=498229
  8. I don't know why I put up with it for so long, I guess I actually believed it would "get better". Now it's obvious, with hindsight, things were never going to change.
  9. Wow it's been a few years since I made this thread. Life is all about learning experiences, so I am updating this in hopes that others can give some insight. Maybe someone else is dealing with a similar situation and get something out of this one. I will try to make this a short as possible, this event was a struggle in the following months. There was no infidelity but I always questioned my value to my gf in comparison to her friends. We remained together for almost 4 years, but these years were filled with much resentment and unhappiness. The below quote from another member speaks loudly all these years later, as I was excluded from so many things. I have never met a person who kept me segregated from holidays, work parties, birthdays etc. For all the major holidays she would fly back home to another state and never include me. I've spent every Christmas, New Years and other big events alone. I tried to go home with her many times, but she said it was her family time. I expressed my feelings of being left alone for the holidays year after year. "Will this change?" "Where do I fit in the picture?" I've been cheated on in a previous relationship, that was awful. But this relationship made me feel alone and sad in a different way. I questioned my value and self worth. Has anyone dealt with type of person that keeps everything segregated? BF, friends, family?
  10. I know what you mean. I already made up my mind about what I feel about these fellows. Either way, I'm dating her not them. I just come to assumption that they are boys who have possibly been friendzoned in the past and see me as a threat.
  11. Thanks for taking the time to give insight. I have dropped it. We talked about it, and it's a one time thing. It was planned before I was ever involved. I do trust her, or I would've simply broke it off over this. It would be silly to end something that is growing over this. Thanks to everyone for giving me different perspectives.
  12. There is an 11 year gap. And it's not a girls weekend getaway, she is the only girl. We all do have much in common, the guys just don't know me too much.
  13. It's a festival that I have attended many times. That is why I was invited.
  14. Thanks for your input. It's exactly what my "good cartoon angel" on my shoulder tells me, ha. But it's also not a good way of making me comfortable with her and friends relationships. It's made our relationship uncomfortable to be honest.
  15. No, I stated that I trust her. My concern is of my feelings coming last to everyone else. If I am her bf and lover, I feel I should be included with none of this drama. If the tables were turned I would include her regardless of what my friends think about it.
  16. All 3 claim to best friends. One of the guys thinks I will be in the way and tagging along to everything they do. It all is upsetting me more and more to be honest. Maybe they think I'm old and lame, who knows.
  17. Yes I have met the friends. And the idea of me staying elsewhere at the festival is ok with my gf. But that is definitely not ok with me. I would rather not go, than get my own room and my gf still sleep in the room with the other boys.
  18. Thank you both for the quick replies. Yes we are official and tell each other that we love each other all the time. I think the other girlfriends aren't going because of lack of interest in the festival. Part of me says to put my big boys pants on and let them be. The other part tells me this might be a future sign of commitment issues and care of my feelings.
  19. Long story short, I was invited to go to a long weekend festival. Then I was uninvited by my gf. She told me it is not fair to her friends who are sharing the hotel with her. They had planned this trip before my gf and I ever met. Her friends that are going are guys and they are not taking their girlfriends to this festival. She claims she wants me to go, but I can't because it will upset them. This has left me upset. How upset would this get other people? I trust that she is not fooling around with them, but I am hurt that I am not being included and my feelings are second to her friends. Am I making a big deal out of this? We have been dating for 3 months, she and her friends are in their mid 20s. I'm 35.
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