Have I been played?

[HeMakesMeHigh]

I am new to posting here though I did register a few days ago and have been an active lurker for quite awhile.

 

I really need some advice/help and honest opinions please!

 

I have been extremely attracted to a guy for over 2 yrs now. I wanted to be with him/get to know him better 2 yrs ago but when I found out he was involved with someone else I backed off. We still flirted whenever we saw each other which left me frustrated but again I just didnt want to be the third party. Over Christmas I saw him at our gym and we were talking/flirting around and he told me he wasnt seeing the girl he had been for a few months...that they had broken up. I had heard this but hadnt seen him until the holidays for this to be "confirmed". Well I decided to just go for it and told him I was really interested in hanging out with him. And he said likewise. Since Christmas we have only still been flirting and talking about making plans..that was up until 2 weekends ago. We made plans to meet somewhere and confirmed the "date" twice by phone and twice more at the gym. On the night I was to meet him I went at the time he said and stupidly sat in my car and waited for him to show up for almost 30 minutes and gave up and left. He didnt call me on sunday to say anything. When I saw him on Monday he was pissed because he thought I stood him up.....turns out there was a miscommunication as to the time. I had the right time and he didnt. So we agreed to set up for this past saturday. Made the meeting place and the time and this time we confirmed it FOUR times through the week and on friday he saw me and once again said "See ya tomorrow night at 630" Now we were due for some snow and he also said that if the storm came that we didnt need to be out in it and that would be the only way or reason we wouldnt hook up. It didnt snow or storm. In fact it was a beautiful night. He also told me that whoever got there first had to wait at least 15 mintues before leaving to give the other a chance due to traffic or whatnot. Well I left to go meet him at the confirmed time and once again sat and waited for him for 30 minutes. My cell is totally dead so there wasnt a way for me to call him or vice versa. He never showed up. And he hasnt called me today either and I refuse to call him. I just cant believe this and am still hurt and shocked that this has happened AGAIN in two weekends. I would think that if someone is interested as much as he seems to be and says he is that he would have at least shown up or had the decency to call me before I had left my house.

 

I really thought he liked me and wanted to hang out with me. He has always told me how pretty and attractive I am and our flirting led me to believe we could have had a pretty good thang goin on........I just dont get this at all. I dont know what I am to say to him or if I should be a fool again with him......I really am so incredibly attracted to him, not just physically either but I cant be a fool either. Have I been played?

[DN]

Possibly - but don't do anything.

 

Wait to see if he calls you - see if he has a convincing explanation - if you believe it then give him one moe chance. But this time. He has to phone you before you leave your house to say he is on his way. If he does not then don't go and forget about him

[stolenshadow]

Hello, well, right now I think he still deserves the benefit of the doubt, many things could have happened and I think the best you can do is wait to hear what he has to say.

 

If he acts like an idiot next time you see him try not to seem angry, in case he didn't show up on purpose it's better if you act like you didn't care much.

 

And, if he has a good excuse for not being there and asks for another chance this time ask him to pick you up where you live, that should make things easier.

 

Good Luck.

[HeMakesMeHigh]

Thanks for the advice StolenShadow and DN!! I appriciate it!

 

Right now I have a few mixed emotions about all this but I am also willing to give him the benefit of the doubt * again* I know they say third time lucky so maybe this next time...being the third time..will work itself out. Hes worth the "trouble" I guess and I know all to well that things can and do come up at the last minute. I guess its just that this happening twice in a row seems sort of lame to me...I am trying to not get a complex anyhow!

 

I hope to see him tomorrow morning but may not..either way I will see him sometime through the week and will just hold off until I do..when I do. Its hard though because like I said I really DO like him an awful lot and I know hes attracted to me as well. We have had many of those "if only" talks in the past and as I also said I just wasnt willing to play third party..its not fair to anyone in the long run!

 

Again thanks much for your replies!

 

 

[savannahohsavannah]

It seems strange to me that you are meeting him somewhere that you have to wait in your car. To me that sounds kinda "hookupish" ? Is it your intention to have sex with this fella? And is this guy being straight up with you? He may not be with his Old gf, but he could already have someone else in the pipeline and you could be his backup in case that one doesn't work. That is another thing, sometimes guys who don't show aren't being honest about themselves. I would be thinking that this fella just likes to flirt when he sees me, but doesn't have any special interest in me.