He finished it. Never going to be together again.

[lillady898]

It's over. My boyfriend finally called it quits. I guess he had enough between the distance and my complaining about how he has little, if any, time to talk to me. He says he loves me and I deserve better. I would never be able to get back together with him. There would be no way I could trust him with my heart after all he has put me through. I should've seen it coming, but I didn't. I believed him too much when he said he'd never hurt me again.

 

Oh, well. My heart is completely shattered, but I'll grow from it I know. I thought he might have been the one for me because things were progressing so well. I was wrong, but there's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing I really want to do about it.

 

He said that he wants to check to see how I am every once in a while. I said ok, but I just can't be friends with him. There's just too much emotional baggage attached to that. I would never be able to deal with it. It's best for me, and I am going to avoid talking to him for a while. I've already told him that I don't know if I love him or hate him at this point. I just don't want to say anything more I'll regret.

 

Maybe it's for the better. Atleast I found out now before I made major changes in my life for him. I guess all there is to do is get over it. Get my mind off it. Luckily I have my family and friends, they're so comforting.

 

I don't know. I just needed to vent and everything. I really just don't understand what's going on. Any comments or anything would really be appreciated.

 

p.s. if you want more background on my relationship with my boyfriend, i have quite a few posts about it.

[cassiana]

Sorry to hear about your breakup. That moment when its over can only be understood by those who feel it. I'm sorry. It's so hard. I hope you have good support around you. You need to keeep busy and drag yourself through it. Best of luck.

[Meow18]

I have read some of your past posts and I must say that I honestly think you will be much better off without this guy. I know you love him and I know how hard it is, but seriously, he wasn't too good of a boyfriend from what I read.

 

Obviously you won't feel that now, it takes time to understand it. I'm really sorry about everything.

 

You will get through this. It will take some time, but you will. Once you get over him, you will be so much happier. I mean, you won't realize that soon, but when you are in a stressful relationship and it ends and you give it time, you will realize how much happier you are. I've been there.

 

Pm me or anyone else if you ever need to talk. Also, keep posting as well. It really helps to just get your feelings out.

[lillady898]

Thank-you both so much for your kind words.

 

As I have been thinking about the many things he has put me through, I agree that this whole situation is probably the best thing for me. And as he is not happy, it is the best thing for him as well. I told him that a while ago, just to help me move on. I have to come to terms with the whole thing and not allow myself to be bitter, otherwise I'm sure it would be so hard getting through this.

 

The major difficulty is in that he's been such a huge part of my life. I mean, since we became together he had become basically the centerpiece of my life. And it shouldn't have been like that at all. This will be a very good time to regain my independence. I'm really trying to think of all this and all the pain he has put me through as a learning experience. Regardless, it's still killing me.

 

I still really care about him, but I know I don't want to get back together with him at all. Which is good considering I need to be able to move on. I won't even allow him to tell me he loves me. I just don't want to be sucked back in. I'm not talking to him until next week, when I get the results back on a pregnancy test. Yeah, that's a whole different story but it is definetly confusing me. The condom broke while we were having sex, and there is a (small) possibility I may be pregnant. I'm not worried, but I just don't know how I would handle it if I really am. We're broken up, and I don't want to have his child. This experience has taught me to not have sex until I am married, so there won't even be the possibility of having an ex-boyfriend's baby. Love is so confusing though.

 

Sorry, just needed to vent again. Tonight someone close to my family is leaving me funny voicemails to cheer me up. He just recently went through all the good things that may come out of this breakup, especially because I will be about 5 hours away from my ex-boyfriend next year. It's really nice to know that there are people that care. This site has helped alot. Not only does it help to pass the time, but the people here are very helpful. And I've always thought that people should learn from other people's mistakes before they make the same mistake. Now I'm just rambling. Oh well, I'm just trying to think about what my next move should be. I know I'm already improving- I've started working out today, cleaning stuff up, running errands I should have ran a long time ago, etc.

 

Well, to anyone who's been reading through this, thanks for listening.