Very very confused...please help!

[KingFizzy]

Ive been with my girlfriend for about 2 years. She really loves me and watches out for me and is just great to me. she is mostly happy when i see her, unless she just had a bad day. I care for her alot and i dont want to hurt her but i feel like a prisoner in our relationship. I've been thinking about the single life and ending our relationship for bout a year now. The thing is im only 20 (still a kid!) and i feel like ive missed out on life in the past 2 years. You know that saying "Life's Too short", these 2 years seem to have flew by! Here's my reasoning...

 

First, i would like to restate that i feel like im missing out. I sorta 'fell out' with my friends because i spend all my time with my girlfriend. For one, we don't hang out NEARLY as much as we used to. They also know me as a different person (the crazy party animal that wasn't afraid to talk to girls). I can't really bring her around my friends though because she'll get bored fast or annoyed because she doesn't understand how us guys are with each other. When they call me to go hang-out or go out, i usually let them down because of prior arrangements made by my girlfriend. I can leave her for a few hours to go be with my friends but then that's running on a schedule since random things just happen (go somewhere), or they'll wanna drink or something. My girlfriend doesn't want me doing anything like that without her so id have to pass on that.

 

To make a long post short, I want to be able to make a decision FREELY without having to consent to anyone else. But the fact that i dont want to hurt her at all makes it such a burden on me. Remember, it's not all with my friends! I also feel she's trying to change me entirely, afterall, i am a different person already. She usually wants me to go to church with her but i don't really care for going cuz im not too religious. I feel that she's trying to create her perfect guy, trying to mold me! I CANT BE MOLDED. It's clear that im in need of help. Any replies would be appreciated. Thanks.

[StillLoveHer]

My gf was the same way. I ended up marrying her.. She changed during the marraige and so did I.. Now it seems like she wants to be the same person she USED to be instead of a wife.. However we have a baby. I don't really know what to tell you.. Maybe you can just talk to her and explain to her that you feel she is trying to change you...

 

ALWAYS REMEMBER COMMUNICATION

[tinal4]

thanks for replying to my line.sounds like you have a pronblem too.well no man should feel trapped in a relationship.she needs to get some friends of her own.maybe you should take some time and figure out what you really want.friends or her.from a womans point of view as long as you ain't doing anything bad sounds like she shouldn't worry.in a way i dont' know what to tell you either....

[always_mikes89]

It sounds like your girlfriend need to let you have some rope. if u trully love her, and she trully loves u, you guys should be able to work things out. Have u tried talking to her about how you feel? And explaining to her that u wont cheat if thats what shes worried about. Nobody is perfect, and i know guys dont like to feel trapped Try talking to her, and if that dont work, do what you feel is best, and if she realizes what she lost, you know she will come back arms wide open, give it a shot tell ur girl about how you feel

[carol26726]

What about women....we shouldn't have to feel trapped should we? I've been married for almost 2 years. I'm only 20 and he's turning 32....I love my husband, but I"m just not happy anymore. I"ve been married almost two years. We"ve been living with his mom in her basement apartment. I"ve pit up with it for this long. I"m not sure I can anymore. All we do is fight anymore...his mother and I are always fighting. I wanna leave, but afraid of hurting his feelings. My ex boyfriend recently came back into my life too...we dated in high school. And I have always had very very strong feelings for him. I even called him and we talked forever. But guess what...he's single and waiting for me. Even though he knows I'm married. I'm not sure I love my husband anymore...

[kusela]

Hi A-C!

 

I remember my boyfriend once told me that he was happy because I allowed him to go out with his male friends. That night, he wanted me to go with him but I said I'd prefer to stay in the hotel (we were on vacation at that time). I just wanted him to enjoy with his friends. If there are "girl things", I know that there are some things also that guys like to do without their girlfriends. But it doesn't necessarily mean that we are cheating on our partners.

 

How old is your girlfriend? When I was younger, I was very jealous. I wanted my (ex)boyfriend to be with me all the time. We had big fights. But as I matured, I realised that it's not good to dictate your boyfriend/girlfriend what he/she should do. When two people are in a relatiosnhip, they should not forget that they are still two separate individuals. You also need time away from each other. I applied what I learned to my latest relationship and my boyfriend was very happy. We differed in some beliefs and principles but we respected each other. We also learned from each other. Just try to explain to her what you feel and what you want. If she really loves you, she will understand.

 

Good luck!