Anxiety/Depressed

[brigirl92]

I've been feeling extremely anxious/depressed as of late. I used to think maybe depression was just circumstantial for me but it's something I've dealt since I was 12 and I'm 23 now.

 

I'd say this is the one most depressive stages I've been in. A breakup, not knowing what I want out of life, etc. I graduated college almost a year ago and still unemployed. Not cause I can't find work, I just never feel motivated enough to look. I don't even feel motivated enough to complete basic tasks. Eat, sleep, etc.

 

It's to the point where anytime my brain is idle I automatically think negative thoughts. I cry multiple times a day without any real reason why. I feel alone a lot. I just contacted a counseling service and I should be able to get an appointment within a week, and I hopeful for that.

 

I don't have any real questions here, I just got anxious and depressed out of nowhere and needed somewhere get my feelings out. Any advice is welcomed.

[Willywagtail]

Esrly 20s are quite often a time of reflection and change, as you move past being a teenager and into so called adulthood.

 

It's natural that you'd be feeling low after a break up and with no work on the horizon.

 

If this has been a problem since your early teens - the depression I mean, then it would be wise to speak to a doctor or a counsellor. Depression can become chronic and it can become a habit You're already seeing this with repetitive negative thoughts and lack of motivation.

 

Short term meds can really help. They allow you the space to get back into balance, understand what the depression is and then get on with life so you don't feel so unable to move in your life and your thoughts.

 

If this isn't an option you want to consider, then talk to your family, tell them you're struggling and ask for their help.

[brigirl92]

Thank you for the advice. I'm not against the possibility of having to take meds. I'm just waiting to see how counseling will turn out. I've been to a counselor before so I'm familiar with the experience and it has helped me in the past. If they suggest I start taking something I'm open to that option.

 

I definitely agree that some of what I may feel is me trying to adjust into adulthood, along with the breakup. But I do feel like the depression is beyond circumstantial and might be chronic.

 

I've been talking to my mom about it, even though it's extremely hard for me to open up at times. She's actually the one who helped me get the counseling thing set up. I know I have potential and I just don't want life to continue to pass me by because I'm depressed.

[alfalfa]

I am similar to you. I have dealt with forms of anxiety / depression since I was in my early teens as well, and I am now 26. It has always been mild, never too serious, but certainly ongoing. Life hurdles and emotions that seem easy enough for others, are more difficult for me. I think a lot and feel a lot and judge myself a lot and well it's just... a lot! It's up and down - some days positive, some days negative. And while it has never completely altered my life it does make it more challenging. You are doing a smart thing by dealing with this now!

 

I agree with Gollum that your 20's are a time of change and a lot of self-reflection, especially if you are the type to feel like you should be at a certain place at a certain point in life like many people do, or if you expect a lot of yourself. Maybe you're not like that, but just saying. I know for me turning 25 was the year I felt like you sound like you do now. So all I'm trying to say is do not feel like you are alone And it does / can get better.

 

But I would definitely see the counceling through, since it has been years you have dealt with forms of this and it's true - if you don't train your thought process with practice, people just naturally fall into one (and for you it sounds like it falls towards negativity... mine too). And over time, it gets harder and harder to train from scratch, that's why they say old people are "set in their ways" isn't it lol.

 

I never did counceling but I wish I did, and I still might. I wouldn't expect it to work wonders but professionals can at least help you to figure out WHY you are feeling the way you do, because trying to figure it all out yourself can keep you awake at night lol.

 

Another thing I'm sure you have heard but that works, is FORCE yourself to get up and do something. You may not want to but just say 1,2,3, and do it. Go for a run, cook a meal from a recipe book, anything small to focus your thoughts on even if for 20 minutes. Take it day by day, but try to do something small every day. And I guarantee when you do you will surprise yourself and feel moments of refreshment. I am staying with my parents for 2 weeks right now and they go for a walk with our dogs every morning at 8AM. Every day I tell them to wake me up the next morning because I want to come. Good intentions lol. On my 7th morning at home lol, after 6 mornings of not going so I could continue to sleep, I groaned and forced myself out of bed, splashed some water on my face and went for the walk. Such a small thing but it made me feel like ok - good for me, I'm going to have a productive and good day now .

 

Two other ideas:

1 - If you have any savings right now, while you are unemployed, GO ON A TRIP!!!! If you are happy to go alone, go for it. If you have friends or family to go with, try to convince them to go somewhere, it probably won't take much convincing anyways lol. Traveling opens up your eyes and your mind and is just wonderful therapy... and a lot of fun! I am in career transition right now and am going so far as a whole year abroad while I continue my studies for my new career - I figure why not now, while it's an option. I think the year is going to do good things for me as well

2 - Music and meditation. Both of those have helped me ground my sporadic and overwhelming thoughts. I don't have the patience for hardcore meditation - sitting still for 30 minutes in pure silence, but I listen to the guided meditations in headphones usually right before I go to bed. If it's something you're into try link removed . It starts you off slow with 5 minute meditations daily, and increases them slowly to 10, 20, and 30 minutes.

 

Something different works for everyone but keep trying different approaches until something clicks! And be patient with yourself - training your thought patterns can be a process. Just keep trying to think of the positive things you already have, and can have. Think about and hold on to those things as hard as you can, and watch how things around you start to change for the better

 

Good luck!

[brigirl92]

Thank you and we almost sound like the same person lol. Idk what it is but it seems like I'm easily triggered; it doesn't take much to get me upset even if I'm in a good mood. Then I allow that negativity to consume me for long periods of time. Actually I used to be so hard on myself when it comes to expectations, comparing my life to my peers. At times I felt like my life was at a stand still while others are in motion. I've, thankfully, left that mindset behind. I realized that I'm my own person and I shouldn't expect to be where others are. As long as I'm doing what is right for my life, it shouldn't matter if I don't meet that "status quo" of expectations. But I still deal with anxiety/depression everyday.

 

As much as it sounds so cliche, I definitely agree with the forcing yourself to do things. I've gotten into a bad habit of staying up late at night, well into the morning sometimes, obsessively thinking about all that's wrong in my life, then waking up super late in the afternoon the next day. It doesn't make it any better when you're unemployed thus have no real obligation to get up early. But there is this talk show I love that comes on at noon on weekdays. I try to force myself to at least be up at noon to watch that show cause it does set my mood for the rest of the day. I know I should try to get up earlier, but it is a tiny step forward. My mom forced me to get up at 9 am the other day to go till the doctor's with her. First I despised her for waking me up that early, but being out of the house and being up that early felt good after a while.

 

Unfortunately I don't have the funds to do any extensive traveling as of late, but I do have a good fried who lives maybe 6+ hours away from me by drive. I'm actually planning to see her pretty soon. I think the mini road trip and just being in my friend's company will serve me well. Sleeping in and doing nothing isn't conducive to depression no matter how "comfortable" it feels to wallow in it.

 

I actually downloaded a couple apps on my phone geared towards anxiety/depression the other day and one of them does have meditation exercises on it like deep breathing, music, etc. I'll definitely try the link you sent also.

 

Again thank you for all the useful advice and I hope your travels are safe as well as fun ☺. I'm hopeful that counseling, along with self care, I can reverse all this negative thinking.

[AL81]

Hi. The way you feel sounds very much the way I did at your age. I struggled with depression and anxiety from the age of 14 and it held me back for a long time. It took me till my mid 20's to feel I could get on with life. I never used anti depressants but wouldn't be adverse to them if they can help you. I'm now 34 and have struggled a bit recently but I know I've recovered in the past, so will do it again.

 

I agree with the other people who say it's better to push yourself into doing things. I find exercise helps a lot. I also find that if I'm reluctant or anxious to do something beforehand that when I go and do it then I'm fine.

 

Hope you feel better soon. Take care.