Having a really hard time

[bobo1]

Hi im new to the forum i never really thought id need advice like this but here it goes. My ex girlfriend and I recently ended a 2 year relationship.. before the break up i never thought it would hit me this hard not being with her, i still love her and i told her how i feel.. i still want to be with her but she doesnt feel the same way and needs time. Im having a really hard time and i think shes seeing another guy which ravels me up even more. Could anyone please help me out, im really lost without her and still want to be with her. Thank you.

[Danielle_5]

I think I can give you some perspective from your ex's side...My ex wouldn't leave me alone, always telling me how much he missed me, telling my friends that he still loved me, always giving me hugs and looking at me hoping I would look back. I felt smothered, and very bothered. I had fully wanted a friendship with him, but now I can't be near him...It's too awkward, and now he has started to flaunt when and if he does anything with another girl, hoping to make me jealous. Don't get into that...Give her space, realize that your relationship ended for a reason, and if you really like her that much, at least try to slavage your friendship. You both need time and space, or else there iwll always be tension. I know from experiance that lack of time and space only ends in an ended friendship. It'll be hard, but it needs to be done...Goodluck, and know there is someone else out there for you! Time and space will strengthen your friendship, you will be glad for it in a few months...Trust me.

[PrincessLinzay]

Hello Bobo1,

 

Welcome to enotalone. It's definitely going to be hard at first. This is completely normal. As you rifle through others' posts on here, you'll see that there are other people going through the exact same things that you are right now.

 

There will be good days and bad days, but it still hurts all the same. I know "time heals all" seems like a hollow saying right now, but it's oh so true.

 

Keep posting and venting any of your frustrations, and there will be tons of people who will be able to relate. Hang in there!

[bobo1]

Thank you very much, im really going to take this advice.. ill be hangin in here no matter, much love.

[Kenji-San]

Hey man, whats up. Listen, I'm sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend ending things . If your relationship lasted 2 years, it will take a little time to start feeling the same. Even if it feels like the end of the world, and I know that it can sometimes, it's not. You just have to find things that you like doing to get your mind off of her. Maybe go out with some friends. If she is seeing someone else, and you still love her, at least hope that she is happy with whoever she is seeing. You wouldn't want to see somebody treating someone you love bad would you?

I hope my advice was helpful, and I hope you start feeling better before too long. Just hang in there, and believe me, things will get better.

 

 

Cheers,

Samurai.

[Meow18]

Of course it will be hard getting over her, but it is possible. It will take time, but you will get there.

 

There are things you can do to help get over her, but you have to understand that it won't happen over night. Its going to take time. How much time will depend. It could take days or weeks or even months.

 

I think no contact really works best. When you see your ex over and over again, or talk to her, your feelings are just going to stay there and not go away. I mean, maybe eventually they will, but not as quickly.

 

I don't know how often, if at all, you talk to her or see her. However, try to not see or talk to her so much. It will be hard, but it will really really help you. Right now you probably think about her all the time, but as the days go on you will find that you actually start thinking about her less.

 

Its hard to not contact someone you care so much about. You might think that you are finally getting over her, but then you see her and all your feelings suddenly come back. And even now you think she's seeing someone else, and it hurts really bad, so try not to think about whats going on in her life right now.

 

This is your time to heal. Do whatever it is you need to do, but try not to contact her so much. Just try to give it a week without seeing her or calling her and you will start to see improvement. Go out and have a good time, don't let this get in the way of living your life.

 

As unbelievable as it seeems, you will find someone new when you are ready to. Someone better and more perfect for you.

[lipstick]

why would you want her, if you know that she doesn't feel the same way about you like you do about her? especially after you said it to her after the break up.............

cheer your self up , and take it like a man...........

[Meow18]

why would you want her, if you know that she doesn't feel the same way about you like you do about her? especially after you said it to her after the break up.............

cheer your self up , and take it like a man...........

 

He still loves her, thats why its so hard. Building a relationship for 2 years builds lots of feelings. Feelings that don't go away overnight, or within a couple of days. It's part of love. Its very normal to feel the way he does.

 

I think just because he's a guy doesn't mean he's allowed to still be in love. Thinking guys should just take things like men is horrible. Guys are allowed to fall in love. Guys are allowed to have feelings and show them. Guys are allowed to be hurt after something like this. You can't control your heart and the way it feels about things.

 

Getting over someone takes time. There's no need to rush, you can't really rush it. It will happen in time, and maybe sooner if you take the right steps.

[bobo1]

thank you maggie, i dont believe in conforming in the "tough guy" stuff, im allowed to have feelings and express myself, thanks.

[ashik]

hey hang in there man, i know how it is being there, one thing i wanna tell u is.

 

From now on, dont listen to ur heart, listen to what ur mind says. Just trust me on this and u'l do fyne. Its gonna be hard at first and everything, but if she says she needs time, give it to her and wait and act coo, again listen to mind.

 

If she moved on and has someone else in life, then u shouldnt waste a minute and start moving on, this site has a lot of advice on moving on so keep surfing and u'l nw wut to do.

 

good luck

[Strandysmommy]

I concour with the no contact method. It's handy because if she IS seeing someone already, it saves you from having to see/hear/deal with it. Someone on the board said he believed that most breakups are because of someone else. While I don't know that I believe it 100% I think it's actually a good thing to set yourself up for. To expect it, I once had a guy I dated for a month and he dumped me because of "depression". I thought if I loved him enough and cared, he'd get better and we'd be together again. We stayed friends, and every little thing he did I overanalyzed to death, and really believed we'd be together again. 6 months later, my best friend, a mutual friend of his as well, told me they'd gotten together just for dinner (she was dating my other best friend, so it wasn't sinister...she and my other BF are married now) but she told me, he said he didn't see any future for us, and he was into someone else, and had been since before we broke up. This crushed me to death. It was a total blindside, but now I know I should have seen it coming a mile away.

 

If you think she's seeing someone, she prolly is. Accept that; it will hurt, it will suck, but if you accept that and get in that mindset then you'll be able to move on. Plus, if she IS seeing some one, and y'all didn't break up that long ago, one has to think..."gee that was pretty durn quick...what's up with that now?" So yes, I digress, but I guess the thing to do is NC, and assume the worst case scenerio. I know it seems overly negitive, but it's really the best way to withdraw.