Am I cheating?

[Lostinlove41]

So I have been dating my g/f now for 6months now, things have been rocky and we have lots of problems(look at my post about breaking up with an unstable g/f in the breaking up forum).

 

Well before we started dating, I did the whole link removed thing for fun because I was new to the area.

 

Anyways I met a girl on there who I clicked with right away, she lives 45min away and is 2 years younger. At that time we talked all the time online at first and then started on the phone. the timing was never right for us to meet, and then both she and I became involved in relationships.

 

fast forward to today. She and I still talk online everynight, and yes we are very flirty, even thought we are both involved(and both know it). But i confide more in her than I ever could in my g/f. We talk for hours everynight, and always joke(kinda) about meeting one day and hooking up.

 

We both have web cams and usually have them on while talking, we both just recently aquired skype-you can make calls online with out longdistance charges so you can use it like IM"s....

 

so now to my point, just the other day after a bad fight with my g/f I talked "t" about it all, and she told me she was feeling very umm horney, and wanted me to talk to her about some things we used to... so after our long convo involving her using her web cam to show me more than usual, she signed off a lot happier than usual if you get where I'm going....

 

so what I'm really getting at, is this cheating? I've never cheated on a girl in my life, but things just progressed really fast, and while I know we were just talking and I personally didn't really do anything, I'm still talking to another girl and helping her get off while watching......

[DropToZero]

In my honest opinion...it doesn't really matter whether it was online or not. What I've always thought when it comes to cheating is...if you're questioning yourself as to whether or not its cheating(b/c you know it might hurt your significant other), then it probably is.

 

As for if you're breaking up w/ your g/f...I dont know...if you break up, then its okay, but right now, it seems you're questioning yourself.

[cooldude1234]

yeah, I would consider it cheating. Cheating is a relitive term, so if she wouldn't approve of it, then It could be considered cheating.

 

It sounds like you obviously like this girl much more than your current girlfriend.

[Hope75]

The fact of the matter is, you seem closer and more comfortable confiding in your internet 'friend' than your actual gf.

 

And, masterbating online with one another is a pretty intimate activity. If your actual gf was doing this with another guy, would you consider it cheating? I thought so.

 

Dissatisfaction in your present relationship is not an excuse for your behavior.

 

If you are unhappy with your gf, choose to either stop contacting the online friend and work on the relationship with your gf, or if you don't feel it's worth the effort, than end things with your gf and then feel free to pursue the online girl, though she has a bf too, don't you find it a little disturbing?

 

Personally if you were my guy and I found out what was going on, you wouldn't have a chance to work it out with me because I'd be long gone.

[Mun]

If you want to know if this is ( or anything else like it) is cheating just ask yourself if you would tell your girlfriend about it--in full detail.

 

If you really care about your girfriend you will stop talking to this other girl like you been doing and instead spend that energy and attention on her and on getting past your differences. You are turning to someone else when you should really be focusing more on your girl. Flirting with this other girl and getting her off is not going to help your relationship.

 

Maybe she is not the girl for you?

[dreamweaverdude]

Menuca is right.... dont waste your eneergy on this other girl if you truly want your relationship to work... Been there done that..... you can't have it both ways dude........ Is it cheating..... duh yeah...... would you have done that if she was in the room with you....? I'm not being critical... i've been in your shoes...... dont start something with this other person and build up false hopes and dreams in her just to crush her....... you're playing with fire as far as I am concerned

[Lostinlove41]

Ok heres a little more light on the on the issue, I mentioned my previous post about my g/f....because it explains most of this....

 

but anyways my current g/f of 6 months is unstable(that's putting it nice). I have in the past tried to break up with her(about 3 months ago) and was, for lack of a better word, blackmailed into staying withe her. I had told her I wanted a break and at that time it was because I really did need one, not because I was seeing someone else or anything. When I told her this, I got a message from her later that she could no longer live with out me and that she was going to end her life........

 

I told her I didn't need the break and we got back together, very recently we had a big fight where I said I had had enough and wanted out, again she did the same thing.

 

I'm currently trying to find away out of my relationship with her, without her hurting herself........

 

And yeah i guess I really know that it is cheating.......I think I really just want to confees it to someone rather than holding it in....but confessing it to her right now isn't an option with her current state of being.....

[jasminebose]

Although what you are doing is a bit unfair (the cheating part) I can see how you got in this mess.

Ok, so you say she is threatening to kill herself if you leave her? Think how much worse she will feel if she finds out about the incident and that you want to leave her. You need to break it off with her before this thing with the other girl goes any further.

Remember - It is not your responisibility to stay in a relp just because you are afraid of what she might do without you. It is your responsibility to be true to yourself and act with integrity.

JZ

[Hope75]

What you could do would be to contact her parents, an older family friend, school counselor, someone who you know she can trust and make them aware of the state of mind that she is in.

 

It is not your job to stay with her and prevent her suicide, or whatever other self destructive behaviour she is manipulating you with.

 

She needs help, but you can't be the one to give it to her. This situation is unhealthy for both of you and you should get away from one another as soon as possible.

 

Let an adult who you trust, preferably someone who knows her and can help her get the help she needs, know what's going on, and then tell her it's over. Don't make a big dramatic scene, just let it go.

 

Until you take care of this, you are still cheating and you should stop messing with the other girl, even talking online.

 

Right now you are no better then your girlfriend and until you call this quits you should respect what a relationship means, fidelity.

[Mun]

You know, that is really sad... to have to resort to that kind of thing to hold on to a relationship... your girl has big issues. I agree that you are not responsible for what she may do to herself here. Get her some help... some hotline numbers, talk to her family about the threats she has made so they can take care of her....and tell her point blank that she needs to help herself. Then leave and don't look back.

 

She is using guilt to keep you there, but she is making both of you miserable. That is in no way a good relationship. She is cheating herself of having a guy who really cares for her. Too sad.

 

I hope you can do this. Good luck!

[booski 25]

My boyfriend is doing this to me at the moment. I have caught him out three times now. Yes its cheating it doesnt have to be in the flesh for it to count. Your actions still hurt other people concerned. You also owe it to yourself to be honest and make yourself happy.