CONSTANT ISSUES, help me please

[batista04]

me and my girl have been goin through rough times lately, we called a break for about a week and we got back together, for her to tell me that she doesnt love me the way she use to, that sometimes she tries to be happy with me not to make me feel bad, thats when i broke up with her completely, within that week of use being completely broken up, another guy she met entered her life, she began to like him alot. Now in the past week we got back together 50/50 to find out a couple of things, that if its meant to be or not, for a month, she tells me that she has half of my heart, that she loves me but then doesnt love me, and she only likes the other guy. So as much as she wants time to think we cant because she cant help call me or i cant help call her, knowin that this other guy is there. She told me to give her time, that she will come back most likely to me, that school, and her family are overwhelming her, but i think that if your goin through those hard times wouldnt it be better to have a companion to help you out with dealin with these issues? I told her flat out, she ends it and i dont think i would contact her ever again, and recently i got into a serious car accident, and she was the only one really there for me, which made me want her more. IM scared of loosing her, im not sure if i should fight for her more to get her before i completely loose her, im very impatient too about it. I WANT HER TO MAKE A DECISION ASAP, i dont know what to do. Im really depressed about this, help me.

[Hope75]

Hi batista,

 

Welcome to enotalone!

 

I'm sorry that you are going through such a tough time right now.

 

Couple of things:

 

Your girl is not going to be able to figure out what she wants while still with you, or with the other guy. She's feeling pressure because she still cares for you and undoubtedly doesn't want to hurt you, but she is also attracted to this other guy. and she needs some time and space from both of you in order to get her thoughts straightened out.

 

Whether or not you choose to wait for her to figure this out is entirely up to you. If I were you I'd be hurt and confused, as one minute she loves you and the next she doesn't, and she likes this guy. How much of this are you willing to accept? How will it change if you get back together? Why are her feelings for you jumping around so much? These are the questions you need to ask yourself and think about carefully.

 

I realize she was there for you during a tough time in your life, the car accident, but you need to focus more on how she is treating you now, and whether you are willing to be yo-yo'd along while she figures her life out.

 

I think she has alot on her plate right now true, but her conlficting feelings towards you indicate that there is something deeper going on with your relationship, something she is not happy with, and maybe you can use the time apart to think about what it may be, and if this is worth trying to fix with her.

 

Remember, a relationship has to be 2 people making the commitment and effort to make it work, you can't carry this on your back alone, and you shouldn't be expected to.

 

She has said that 'she will most likely come back to you' , this in effect is keeping you on a short least while she does her own thing and keeps you hanging on and waiting for her to come back. If you move on with your life and tell her you aren't willing to wait around, she may see the long term consequences of her actions, rather than have the security of knowing you are waiting....in case she decides to come back.

 

What do you think?

[cleverme123]

Back off of her for a while. Don't let her string you along with this other guy. She will start to see the right and wrong side of things. Be patient, waiting is so ncredibly hard but it seems like she has a lot going on right now and needs time to sort it all out. Maybe she got afraid of getting serious or something and got scared. I'd just sit tight and be patient.

[clodhopper]

All you can really do right now is just give her the time and space she asked for. Don't get pulled along, and try not to have the hope that she'll come back to you. I know she said she probably would, but things change, people change. You never know what the future holds, and you can't spend your whole life waiting around for someone.

 

I understand that she was there for you through your rough times, and maybe that's getting you thinking "how come I can't be there for her through her tough times?" and I understand that... but if she wants space and you don't give it to her, you could push her even further away... and I doubt you want that!

 

Good luck

[batista04]

last night we had a deeper conversation, in which she told me that i broke her heart, thats why she couldnt take me back, and in a way i could see it, although i didnt cheat on her or anything in that nature, i sorta lost interest, but when i lost her, i realized what i lost, i told her all of this, and asked her to take me back to show her that i was the one who broke her heart, and that i want to be the one to help mend it, luckly she said yea. ITS TIME THAT I SHOW HER THAT I DO LOVE HER WITH ALL MY HEART, or else I COULD LOOSE HER FOREVER, thanks everyone for the advice.

[batista04]

ANOTHER TURN OF EVENTS, we broke up again today, and became friends again, i figured that i pressured her into a YES, I DONT WANT TO DO THAT because i see her unhappy. IM gonna wait, simply because she told me her and the other dude had a combo, and they arent gonna talk as much anymore, givin me some hope, im gonna give it a month, i really cant wait to long now. She told me while she is alone she is going to be loyal and not look for other things in other people, she is going to try to conform herself first before makin a sure decision on us, what do you guys think?