please help me here i am soo freakin lost and pissed!!

[bilal72401]

ok here is my problem/situation. Not sure where to start but, i am a 20 year old Asian American living in Arkansas, United States, i have lived here for almost 6.5 years now, i know the American culture and community pretty well, infact i am a U.S. Citizen i come from a religion that requires women to wear a scarf on there head, my family is very religious and we follow all the rules that we can, and so when i go to Walmart or any other place in town, lets say a resturant, or some kind of a store with my family, people always stare at us, i am not sure why, some people just point and laugh, some people just stand there and stock us for hours, some people just start following us, what is it that these people want?? are they wondering why my mom and my sister is wearing a scarf and a long dress???? or are they just soo freakin dumm that they have not seen a normal human before? or is it that they are soo freakin attracted to one of my family members that they just cant help looking at us? or is it that we are wearing some funny T-shirt that when they look at us they start pointing and laughing for no freakin reason and we dont even know each other??? whats the deal? what comes to their mind when they see a lady with a scarf and a long dress or some Asian guy with curly dark hair, are we sooo pretty ? or are we just plain ugly???? what is it i wanna know? what comes to thier mind when they see a Lady with long Dress and a Scarf or a lady with a covered face? they are only practicing their religion they or we dont mean no harm?!? what is it with people?why cant they come straight to my face and say what they wanna say instead of just standing there and staring at me for no freakin reason, i am just a human like u are i cant do any thing u cant do, i wont do any thing u wont do, i am just a human and ooh by the way i am not from outter space! i am from earth too just like u are. I HATE WALMART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ](*,) i dont go to walmart no more

[sisterlynch]

We are really going through a mean time in history and there is a lot of self hatred in people. When the economy is bad, like it is now, people become angry easily and they look for people to pick on and somehow that makes the person feel better for a while. They feel worse after they do that, but while they are doing something, like staring at you or whatever, they are distracted from their problems and that makes them feel better to make you and your family feel bad.

 

So that is why they are doing it, they want you to feel uncomfortable, so that they can feel better for a while.

 

What can you do about it? You can ask them to tell you what they want....

 

If they are there staring at you, stare back in a blank and neutral stare, like as if you are looking in a mirror while you are looking at them, and say, hey, there, do you want something? What do you want??

 

Then the ball is in their court to at least explain why they are looking at you.

 

I think that you know what they will say, sometimes making people say what is on their minds is good, because you will open up a dialongue with them and they really don't know why they are staring at you, other than to make you feel uncomfortable...

[goddess23]

hey. look, religion is such a thing i dont really talk about it. we all have our opinions and are free to them. i just want ot say right now if i offend anyone i apologise. i am a muslim, and i dont wear a hijab or cover from head to toe. i respect those who do, i respect those who are committeed to religion and do it for the right reasons. but im sorry that generally sepaking most who do this extreme forms of expression are usually hypocrites. for example it pisses me off sooo much when i see these girls wearing the hijab and then pairing it with tight jeans or 2 lbs of makeup. im not saying thats what your sister or mom does. im just saying that is just something that pisses me off. now why people stare like that, i dont know. it could be intimidation, just not understanding why this is something that God requests from one religion and not the other. honestly i find religion very contridicting and do not believe in relgiion. this is not to be confused with my faith in God. as i said if religion is a way that people reach out to God then i respect it and am fine with it, but usually its simply not the case. they do it to satisfy their parents wants, or to prove something, or do it only once in awhile or contridict it by doing other things. but with your question, its not peopole trying to be mean. but they cant help but wonder about it, to them it seems so strange. think about it, if you see somone wearing a SHORT SKIRT and halter, you may look and think "what are they thinking?" am i right? it just human nature, try not to get upset, i know it can be annoying, trust me, we are all judged in some way. try to just understand that people are still very unaware about certain religions and beliefs. see in toronto, no one even takes a second look, its soooo normal here. my neighborhood is like completely muslim. so to me it strange to hear this lol. but yeah...hopefully i could help you to understand al ittle about how others think.

[bilal72401]

goddess23,

you cannot call all of them hypocrites, because there are people out there in this world, people i know that they believe well in the religion Islam I believe in. I believe my religion promises me succes in this life and in the hereafter, thats just my beleifs i am not trying to push it on u or any body else. Yes i agree there are people that do hijab and then they go to and do other stuff as u said. My point is my beleif in my religion is so strong that nothing in this entire universe can change that, if u were to kill me i will still not change my religion, i would die as a Muslim and not something else, call me a extremist or what ever u want, every one will see in the Judgement day!

[boredguy]

hey bilal,

I understand what you are talking about, ive heard many a complaint from friends and family about discrimination in north america. u seem to have a strong deen, but what you need to achieve is a combination of deen and duniya, if u will. you need to realise that people are afraid of that which they do not understand.

If they make you angry, remember that it is all they can do, because they are afraid of what they do not udnerstand. they do not understand that the reason for hijab is merely to preserve modesty. they do not realise what it means to do something sunnah, like leave a beard. IF they ask, you simply tell them. i.e. why is your sister wearing that scarf? answer: to preserve her modesty. she would rather not show herself. it is her choice.

 

balance, my friend, that is the key. balance of deen and duniya. and patience. u have to be patient with those that do not understand.

[bilal72401]

boredguy,

Thanks alot!, that makes me feel better!, i dont get mad that easily, i have been seeing this every single day and i guess i am tired of it, i dont wanna see no more and hopefully i will be patient and understand, thanks every one!

[boredguy]

no problem man, thats what we're all here for!