Is she a friend, pitying me, or using me?

[CalindaAnn]

I have a friend that I consided to be one of my best friends and I think she thinks of the same of me way. But sometimes like when we are in a big group of people I feel like she trys to avoid me. We used to have great talks, stay up till 4 or 5 in the morning just talking but in the last few months I feel like she is pulling away. She graduated this year and is going off to college while I'm only a junior, is it that she is pulling away so when she has to leave in a couple months it won't hurts as bad? But she doesn't seem to be doing this with all of our friends. Like just the other day a bunch of us were getting together and I came in and said hi to everyone and a most people said hello but not her. Then when one of our male friends came she jumped up and gave him a big hug and then won't let go she was just hanging on him (no she doesn't like him the went out 2 years ago and she broke up with him (i went out with him too) and we always talk about how it was a bad idea to ever go out with him..believe me she doesn't like him) she is alway doing stuff like that where she doesn't notice me and then makes a big deal about it with other people (mostly guys but not exclusively)

Maybe I'm over reacting and there is nothing wrong at all and my low self-esteem and insecurity is getting in my way I don't know anymore.

I also feel almost used like when she needs some one to talk to she will come to me (I'm the theropist to all my friends) and if she seems down I'll always ask whats wrong and if she wants to talk. I think I'm kinda good at noticing when people are down but i'm not sure. But when I'm down and showing that I'm down and not hiding it she doesn't notice and everyonce and awhile she will say something and it seems like she cares but I dont' know. Maybe she just doesn't know how to show affection in a none romatic way.

Can anyone help I don't know what is going on? I will answer any questions if you post something here and let you know. Thank you for you time.

[perhaps]

I sometimes have that feeling too when someone is very important to me I compare how they treat other people to how they treat me. I have a pretty negative filter and sometimes misperceive their attention to be less than it is. Consider that you might be part of the problem. Also some people do hate goodbyes and will withdraw first. I tend to do it in all areas of my life because I have had too many goodbyes.