Im pretty much done for ....yeah

[Aika]

ok.. It's been a while since I broke up with my gf, about 3 or 4 months .. not shure, anyways... the story goes somehow like this:

 

we had problems that weren't really that big... however, they were there and eventually things happened and here I am now broken hearted, looking for some help... cause I loved my ex so much, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her... but it was just a dream..

 

in the process of breaking up she did some really ugly things... she didn't notice I think, the thing is I couldn't take it and broke all contact with her, and to tell you the truth it fell really good... at that time..

now it's been some time since that happened and I just can't stop thinking about her, wondering how she's doing, etc.. just can't take her out of my mind.. very oftenly I feel so anxiuos... it's just that I simply lost everything along with her, even my own reason to go on so... after all this time I gathered enouh courage to send her a Merry chrissmas mail... she didn't reply (she send me one for my birthday after I broke contact with her.. so I did this to check on ho things are still going..)

 

so.. to make it short, I'm really lost sometimes some really weird ideas get to me, scary things, trust me.. O.o and just.... that's it..

can anyone tell me what can I do?... i've trying everything to just let go and forget about it but it doesn't seem to work.. and I don't think it'll ever work ... please .. help?

[Bibora]

Well my ex broke up with me 5 weeks or something but im starting to find a way to move her out of my mind. It may sound cheap or not the best solution but for me it helps. Simply i start to feel that she had also guilt in what happen and although i feel sorry for what i did to her (which i am trully) i cannot pass my life feeling sorry for someone who obviously didn't love me enough to fix the problems.

And another event help me to move on. This week she said she would give me an opportunity to meet her (maybe one last time, which i hope so). For a moment there i thought, ok this might be just to understand each part and at least try friendship. Well it wasn't. Was just to make me feel more guilty and to bother me. She is really a problematic person, and im starting to feel glad im not with her anymore. What happened with us would eventually happen sooner or later.

So what can i say? Start thinking only on yourself, what went wrong in the relation, was it only your fault or not, if so say to her you are sorry and if she doesn't accept it, its her problem. Move on with your life, get hobbies, go to a gym, meet new ppl. You are young and you have a life ahead of you. Don't waste it for one person that obviously doesn't love enough.

[sidhat]

Dude,

 

I now its really hard to forget some1 you love.. but just think is she loves you?? if yes then why didnt she contact you soo far,, why she never wants to see you.. I hop you understand.. man life is very small.. just enjoy it and forget the past like a worse dream.. start loving yourself.. go shopping,, the money you spend on her spend on yourself.. buy kool cloths ,, dress up yourself.. go gym..get some activity like playing pool , gambling...partying partying partying..

And the one biggest question of your LIFE..

 

ARE YOU LOOKING FUTURE IN THAT TYPE OF GIRL ?? !!

 

comon man you can do it.. enjoy and take it as a good experience of life.. MOVE ON BUDDY.. there is somebody waiting for you!!!

 

take care and wishes you HAPPY NEW YEAR...

 

 

~Sid...

[Outlaw2747]

Bibora, I had an ex that put me in a smiliar situation. As I talked to her more after our breakup (and I still didn't forgive her for what she did) I noticed her making dumber and dumber mistakes with the guy she is with. Now for the most part I am glad I was no longer with her simply for the fact that she is careless and has a serious problem with thinking. I try to filter out people like that out of my head as well. If the good outweighs the bad, it is a lot easier to get over certain people and so far I am doing quite a good job. I wish you the best of luck Aika...you gotta ask yourself was she really worth all the pain and anguish? All of my hopes and dreams of being with a good woman was just that...a dream. SOme girls just aren't what they appear to be or CLAIM to be. it is a scary world out there man. I hope my insight helped both of you out somehow.

[Scottrn]

Thanks for the compliment bibora!

 

Aika said:

in the process of breaking up she did some really ugly things... she didn't notice I think, the thing is I couldn't take it and broke all contact with her, and to tell you the truth it fell really good... at that time..

now it's been some time since that happened and I just can't stop thinking about her, wondering how she's doing, etc.. just can't take her out of my mind.. very oftenly I feel so anxiuos... it's just that I simply lost everything along with her, even my own reason to go on

 

I went through something similar, and for me it was that she moved on to another guy but I was still alone. That cost me a few nights sleep, thinking about what they were doing alone together.... ...but you need to remember, as I did, that you need more time to learn from it and being alone is the best thing if you are in that mindset, also for the new person because they deserve a fair shake with you, which you can't give them if you still feel as you do for your ex.

Take everyones advice, just find something to do. Look hard at yourself, it hurts sometimes but you will learn and grow, the hurt you feel isn't for nothing. Use it. Learn to recognize whst triggers these thoughts (I learned this here, what an awesome bunch of people posting on this site!) and retrain your mind, learn how to recognize these thoughts and replace them with something else. Keep plugging along, and remember setbacks aren't permanent, nor are they indicative of failure. 8)

[HajiMaji]

Buddy im in the same situation. Some days i want her really bad, but somedays its not so much. Its only recently ive been able to say this too. Up until 2 weeks ago EVERY day was a day that i couldnt stop constantly thinking about her. It was hell.

 

First off realize there are so many people going through the same thing and it sucks. Theres nothing good about it but youll get through it. It takes time. The hardest part for me is battling my desire to contact her and magically make everything right. Sometimes i feel like if i say the perfect words shell take me back, but really she also did some ugly things without realizing it and all my friends say shes not wife material. Someone here just relied with:

 

"ARE YOU LOOKING FUTURE IN THAT TYPE OF GIRL ?? !!"

 

2 weeks ago if i would have read that i would have said well, im looking for a future with that girl, but i want her to fix those things that made her 'bad'. Now i would say im focusing more on the word TYPE in that sentance and it becomes more clear. I dont know exactly what she did to you but i know that i would NEVER have handled a situation like she did. Actions are manifestations of our true self and i dont think anyone i would hold close to my heart would act in that manner. Maybe it would be possible for you to gain some insight in the same way. If you read a story about her doing to you what she did to some random other guy how would you feel? Would you think, "Man, i wish this story also came with that girls phone number so we could date!"? Probably not.

 

But with all that said i can realize how hard it is to let go. Regardless if she wasnt worthy or she did horrible things to you, you still made the choice to love her. That choice carries a bit of commitment and determination. Where do you draw the line and when do you stop fighting to hold her close to your heart? Its hard. For me everyday its a challenge to forget about her as a special person. She is still the woman i love! Its so hard to have that attachment still and realize she has cut herself from her attachment to you.

 

Ive rambled long enough and hopefully you can get something outta that non sense. I know what it feels like to think about a female constantly. Good luck my man!