Are these enough signals?

[Stinkweed]

Ok, there's a girl I recently started to talk to... I've talked to her more than a couple of times now, and I'm feeling less nervous each time... Anyway, I think she's shy... I'm not 100% sure, because I've seen her with her friends, lol, and she seems a completely different person... But in that class, she very rarely talks at all unless someone talks to her first, so she has never inititated any conversations with me, and that is one of the things that fills me with doubt... Sounds kinda like me, especially a couple of months ago... Anyway, when I look at her, she always smiles (well, we both do, lol) and when we talk we both smile as well... And today, I had this paper, it flew off of my table to the floor nearby her seat, and she picked it up and looked straight into my eyes and smiled, and I smiled back and thanked her. Then in the end of class I talked to her for a bit, and then gave her offered a piece of gum, but let her keep the whole pack (which was completely new, by the way, lol), because I had another one that was new too... She said thank you very much, and I asked her where she had to go now and she told me, and I told her where I had to go, but I was in a hurry, so I couldn't walk her to her class... So, we both smiled and I said see ya tomorrow, and she said bye too.

 

Now, I'm not 100% sure if she likes me, but is just shy, kinda like me... I'm not good at body language either, so all I basically do is talk to her every opportunity and smile a lot... She always has a nice tone to her voice when she talks to me...

 

I just want other people's insight, because I can't say I'm 100% sure... I mean, there are some signals, but she never talks to me unless I talk first, but on the other hand, she does that with other people too, and maybe she's just shy... Again, I just wanna make sure, lol. Best wishes.

[incredble]

theres a girl i like n always when we look at each other we both smile... not like a huge smile like we both just got laid but like a little smerk, i think it means she likes u. cus the girl i "smile" with - everyone tell me she is feeling me, if she is only shy in thaty class, then thats might mean she dosent wanna make a fool of her self in front of u, so i think u should ask her out, good luck

[Stinkweed]

but if i were you what i would do is continue as you are now for about 2 or 3 weeks more see if she opened up a bit more to you and then try asking her out.

 

I'd do that, but I only have like 4 school days left... after that comes winter break and the semester's over and everyone on to their new classes, and I seriously doubt she will be in any of my classes... So, what do you suggest? Should I just forget this (believe me, that's not what I'd prefer...), or should I like ask her what she's doing on winter break and tell her that I won't do much, and if she'd like to hang out? I know I should've started to do this earlier, but I'm stupid like that... Anyway, I just wish I could do this, but I'm afraid that if it's too late, I might as well start to give up (I don't mean like stop talking to her, I mean like I dunno, forget about the "romantic" part I guess...). I guess I'll have to find someone else who sparks my interest, and I maybe can spark her's... Or, I could try to do things within the time limit, but as cool and calm as I can (if you think that's an option, please tell me tips on what to say/do). Thank you. Best wishes.

[Stinkweed]

Thanks man. I'll need the good luck... I hope she does like me. She'd be the first girl I get, lol Lol, it's also hard for me to feel like this for a girl... I mean, I think there are tons of girls who are attractive, but this one is the only one that makes me feel like this, lol... It's like the 2nd time it happens in my life, and the first one I blew it badly (plus, I don't think she was a nice person after all, lol...), so I think I learned, lol. Thanks. Best wishes.

[Queen_Midas]

Hey!! Ask her out! She sounds like me when I'm with the guy I like. Just ask her out, don;'t leave her waiting too long!!

 

Good luck!

QM

[Stinkweed]

Ok, ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid either I made things just a little bit harder, completely blew it, or things will just stay the same... You see, I didn't talk to her today... I really wish I had... I just didn't find a good chance to do it... Should I still proceed as normal tomorrow, and maybe ask her if she would hang out w/me during christmas break? I mean, man, I seriously doubt I'll have a chance friday (we have a test that day, which doesn't leave a lot of room for talking) and next week I'll probably see her like 2 days only and it'll be a really funky schedule, so I have no clue what it's going to be like... Seriously, need help on this one.

[Stinkweed]

Thanks sonic dude for believing in me. Now I feel I can do this. Please, keep checking this thread out, because I'll keep updating, lol, and I may need help. I just gotta do this... Man, I at least gotta get her phone #... thanks everyone, and best wishes.

[striderhiryu81]

Alright man, you didn't make a mistake.

 

If she is interested then she is wondering why you didn't talk to her. That is a good thing! You have the upper hand now...you are in control, she is wondering too! When you actully do say something to her, she will be that much more happier that you did!

 

As for the timing of the talk, yeah a test day is rough. What I would do is say "Hi, (whatever her name is) as you or she comes in to take the test, and then focus completely on the test if thats all the time you have to talk. You don't want to cloud your thoughts with whatever was said before that and then bomb the test right? Right!

 

When the test is over, if you finish before her you can go outside and wait for her to finish and then approach her there, or you just wait in class if you have to. That would be the perfect time to talk to her! Now you actually have something to talk about instead of the little flirting that was going on with the dropped paper and such. Make a comment about the test or just ask her what she thought of it. You can just throw things in like " yeah, I studied all night but I think it paid off. I hope I aced it." Later say, "Well I don't know about you but I can't wait for the break. What are your plans?" She should tell you a little bit about her plans and from there you can say, "Well, my first(or second) weekend is free, how'd you like to get together for a movie on (whatever date it seems she might be free on judging from her plans that she told you)."

 

From there you can keep in touch, and if she'll be out of town so that you can't hang out over the break just say to end the conversation "Have fun (whatever her plans are)... I'd like to keep in touch, whats your phone number?"

 

Its that simple. You don't have to say exactly those things but basically be confident and direct. The beating around the bush is for the conversation leading up to asking for the number or the date...not the actual asking. Try not to say "maybe this" or "maybe that" let her know exactly what you want and wait silently for her answer after you ask. Don't give her an easy way out. Remember she's nervous too! But that is a good thing.

[Stinkweed]

I talked to her today. I talked to her about what we were doing, and then asked her what she was doing over the holidays, and she told me she was going to Canada, so then I asked her what she would be doing there, blah blah. Anyway, I guess I only can get her # now because she probably won't be around for most of the break... This sucks... I wish I could have hung out with her during the break. Anyway, should I get her # tomorrow quickly before the exam (but if she says no, then I think I'll loose all concentration on the exam as Strider said) or should I wait outside just like strider suggested? I'm confused lol... Well, at least today wasn't a complete failure and I got half of what I wanted to do done...

[Stinkweed]

From there you can keep in touch, and if she'll be out of town so that you can't hang out over the break just say to end the conversation "Have fun (whatever her plans are)... I'd like to keep in touch, whats your phone number?"

 

Its that simple. You don't have to say exactly those things but basically be confident and direct. The beating around the bush is for the conversation leading up to asking for the number or the date...not the actual asking. Try not to say "maybe this" or "maybe that" let her know exactly what you want and wait silently for her answer after you ask. Don't give her an easy way out. Remember she's nervous too! But that is a good thing.

 

Oh, I hadn't seen that I guess I'll do that then... But man, I dunno... I mean, how do I do this? Should I ask her for a minute after the test is over? Or should I walk with her (not a good option, because she always gets to her friends down the hall pretty fast...)?

[Alabama]

Just go up to her, and maybe ask if she wants to go hang out sometime. Then ask for her phone number. You can do it...good luck!

[striderhiryu81]

I know that this is the hardest part but you can actually do it in front of her friends. You made it sound like they are off limits or something. I knwo exactly how that feels. Once I went into my favorite store and there was a cute new girl behind the counter.We were making small talk and such but I chickened out. I went in another time during the next week and chickened out again. As I was walking out I was mad at myself for not asking her for her number or anything so I just said forget it and then turned around and walked towards her. She was already chatting with the other 2 girls that worked there so it was REALLY awkward. I felt my hands start to sweat. It was obviously too late to turn cause now they saw me and said "You're back!" So I just said "Yeah, Stephanie..." and I asked her for her number or something but I don't remember the exact words. Soooo...the other girls were all giggly and stuff but Stephanie said that she had a boyfriend. I should have just thanked her for her time and walked away then but I mentioned how embarrassing it was. Then they got all sympathetic and said how brave it was of me to do it anyways, and not to be embarrased. So yeah they apparently respected me for doing it, even though I felt like a big dork.

 

I could have easily just said don't worry about when she gets up to her friends or whatever, but I thought you shoudl know that I did it and survived even though it didnt turn out for me. This girl gave me no signs of interest like yours is. You'll be that much bigger of a man for doing it in front of them. It's still your last ditch effort though. Try to get her after the test but before the friends. Get straight to the point also, "I thought we could get to know each other better after the break, whats your phone number?" she just might be dying for you to ask her so don't look like you are a guy that doesnt go after what you want.

 

Notice that I said "whats your phone number?" and not "Can I have your phone number?" You don't want to give her a YES or NO question. Don't make it that easy on her. You're risking yourself so if she wants to turn you down she better have a reason. If shes givingyou the number then you already have a pen in your hand and paper in your binder or something. the binder should be in your hand, you don't want to leave her waiting around for you to dig in your backpack. open to the first page and write the number at the top and then close it and say "thanks, have fun in canada, see ya!" or something like that. if paper isn't convenient then give her the pen and stick out your hand and laugh like you can't believe you are doing that. yeah its from junior high but it works! she'll have to touch your hand and write on it...oh but don't let her use your hand if you are sweating a lot. cause then she'll be like "ewww" haha. and when you are out of her sight, write the number down as soon as possible. don't smudge it!

[Stinkweed]

Well, man, I still don't feel, you know, comfortable enough to assume she likes me... So, anything could happen... Anyway, then I guess I'll wait for her to come out of the classroom and talk to her then. Man, I'm so nervous, because I know tomorrow is probably the last chance I've got... I just want to do it no matter what the end results are (if she has a bf, then I don't care, at least I tried, and if she doesn't, which I think is more likely b/c I'd probably have seen them together, then it'll be one of the best gambles I've ever taken...). Anyway, just wish me luck. Wait but first, here's what so far I've understood to be my agenda:

1. say hi in a warm way before the test begins

2. talk to her when the test's over and ask for her #

*3. don't ask it in a way that she could answer yes/no

 

I think I got it, don't I? Should I also add when asking for her # that I think she's a really nice person and I want to keep in touch too?

[striderhiryu81]

The 3 points that you listed is basically what I was trying to get at. you said it a lot better than i ever could have haha. simple and to the point!

 

As for if you want to add anything, thats up to you. But just work it so that when you ask for her phone number that you don't say anything between the question and her answer. If you start talking because you get nervous while waiting for her to say something then you will come accross as unconfident. Just do some talking, ask for the number, and wait. After you get the number you're free to say or do whatever you want but I would try to stay a little mysterious and just say "Thanks, have fun on your trip, see ya around" And then walk towards your next class or wherever.

 

You're clear for takeoff!

[Stinkweed]

Ok, I'll do that then. Wish me luck... I'll tell you what happened tomorrow (I just hope I don't chicken out, but believe me, that's not likely, lol, I think ). Best wishes.

[striderhiryu81]

Good luck pal...we're behind you all the way. Whatever happens (number or no number), you were man enough to ask!

[Stinkweed]

Ok, I couldn't get her phone #... The test took me a little bit longer than I expected so I finished it just in time like a minute after the bell rang, but she finished before the bell rang, so then I packed my stuff up as fast as I could and hurried down the halls but she was gone... I know I could've told her to wait for me, but I didn't... all I could say was hi and good luck before the test. At least I still have monday to do this... Monday we'll probably just review or something, so the class will probably be over a little bit early, and that'll be my chance to talk to her... But should I ask for her # at that moment with all those ppl around and not mind them at all, or should I wait till we are both in the hallways and I ask her? Which is a better option? Oh, and then, how long should I wait till calling her, IF she gives me her #?

[Stinkweed]

K man. I think I can handle doing it during class (I mean, I've done everything else, like starting to talk to her out of nowhere and being very nice to her and curious about her already, so I don't think it'll make much of a difference to anyone else)... Should I try before class starts, or just after class?

[striderhiryu81]

whatever you feel is the right time really. i don't know the ideal situation for you. just be sure to DO IT

[Stinkweed]

okok. I'll try my best... I'll post over the weekend if I have doubts/questions. And I'll post what happened on monday. Thanks everyone. Best wishes.

[Stinkweed]

Lol, now I can't wait for monday to arrive...

[SomeShyGuy]

Hello Dead Eyes!

 

I must say that you sound EXACTLY like me with a girl I liked. If you have time, take a look at my old posts about her and you'll see what i'm talking about! Anyways, with that said, I can only offer you some advice! On Monday, make sure you TRY your BEST to get her number!!!! You seem to be in the EXACT situation I am in with the girl I like. Oh and Dead Eyes, please cheeck you PM!

[striderhiryu81]

Hey Dead Eyes,

 

I just wanted to say that I hope all goes well for you. Its been a fun forum. We've all learned something I'm sure. I just heard from a buddy that his girlfriend's friend that I've had my eye on actually is somewhat interested in me! So now I'm in your situation haha. Its so much easier when you are on the outside looking in!

 

I'm reading over all of our posts for courage and info and the best one yet has to be one of your own. You said:

 

Anyway, just wish me luck. Wait but first, here's what so far I've understood to be my agenda:

1. say hi in a warm way before the test begins

2. talk to her when the test's over and ask for her #

*3. don't ask it in a way that she could answer yes/no

 

I think I got it, don't I? Should I also add when asking for her # that I think she's a really nice person and I want to keep in touch too?

 

You've got it down to a science in that. With the questions at the bottom, use your instinct and if you feel like saying that then you can say it, if not, oh well. The main point is to ask for the number in a direct non-yes or no way. Anything you say before or after is your call (saying you'd like to keep in touch is a good one). Oh yeah and I read a post that said something about calling her a couple of hours later? DON'T do that...wait a few days (maybe 3) at least or even wait till after the break. She won't be home anyways right? She told you that and for you to call while she's on break would be interfering with her time and also showing that you were not paying attention to the fact that she'll be in Canada or wherever it was. So yeah, see ya on Monday or Tuesday I guess...

[Stinkweed]

Thanks everyone... I think I'm ready for this... I mean, I don't feel very optimistic, but I've got nothing to do, so it evens out, lol. Thanks for your support. I'll post tomorrow about the "results". Cya until then.

[Stinkweed]

Ok, I didn't do it... I don't think I want to anymore. I mean, look at this post: link removed

 

Gee, doesn't it sound incredibly familiar? Lol, it's almost as if I had posted it myself... It sounds like it's exactly the same girl... Well, given that I don't see the point of taking this further, I'll just forget it, and hope that one day I can find a girl who is SINGLE! Dammit, that's my luck Thanks everyone, and cya around. Best wishes, and really really thanks for helping me and supporting me.