married, but find myself wandering...

[chrissy454]

I have been married for 2 years. We have our problems, sure, but mostly we are fine.

 

The problem is, I am hopelessly, desperatly, completley attracted to someone I work with. I see him only once a week, because that's all I work there. I believe HE is the only reason I still work there. When I don't see him, i am sullen, and my day is ruined. I still love my husband, but I can't help wanting to spend time with this other person. NOTHING has happened. I have still been faithful to my husband. But I picture myself with this other person more and more....

 

I guess I'm wondering... is this normal? Am I the only person who has been through this? Will it fade? Will it get worse? Am I setting myself up for problems? Is it too late? HELP, Please!!

 

 

Christy Jean

[ticklebug]

you are setting yourself up for problems ONLY if you act on your crush...

 

that is all it is, a crush....you have pretty much put enough fantasies in your head that of course it seems exciting...reality is, he is just a guy...you don't know that much about him..it's just a physical thing...

 

what you have to remind yourself is that your marriage is more than physical....

 

normal, sortof...except for the fact that you feel so disappointed when you don't see the guy...that's not a good thing. If you honestly feel you are only working there to see this guy...time to get a new job...before you do something you regret.

[amanda22]

just wondering, how old are you. anyways, i agree with ticklebug. this is just lust, just an infatuation. the reason you ar attracted to him is because he is mysterious and you dont know anything about him. its easy to romanticise all these wonderful things in your head about someone, but thats not who he is in reality. maybe you need to take this as an opportunity to focus on your marrige and see if there is anything you feel missing from it. maybe all you need is a date with your hubby or trying something new with him to spark that excitement again. sounds like you love your hubby very much. just remember it is so hard to make relationships work (just look around here) so dont mess up something great you have for something so foolish. if it gets more serious you need to change jobs, no joke.

[Kaspa]

If you like spending time with him and enjoy his pressense you can always be friends. Nothing sexual has to happen, if you still love you husband and are attracted to him then don't do anything to reck it. You can't get greedy, some times you just have to settle for being friends, that way you can see him and feel open about it, and not stressed about this confusing crush.

[titan]

i suggest be realistic, as mentioned above you probably have built this person in your head and in reality is nothing like you image.

 

I suggest be friend but dont do anything..i repeat don't cheat, just see what he is like and i am sure you will realise you have little in common.

[thunda]

I understand exactly what you're going through. But like the others have said you dont really know what he's like and u still love ur husband. Remember how u felt about hubby when u were courting?How he use to make your heart jump everytime u seen him?The first time u kissed his lips and made love?Think back and remember why u married this man u love. And just think that this 'crush guy' has lotsa imperfections u have never seen.He's probably got a mighty pimply lookin butt when he's lokking in the fridge...PICTURE THAT!!!

[Abacab]

I think there's more than lust here...

 

You say you love your husband, yet you have this crush on another guy. In my book it says that you have problems with your marriage. How's your communication with your spouse?

[chrissy454]

I am 23 years old. Thank you for all of your quick replies. They help out. We do have a lot in common (we are both teachers...) but you are probably right-- he's not a great as I think he is right now. Once again, thank you so very much!!

 

 

Christy Jean