he broke my heart

[eva1218]

Five years, long distance love, but we made it......

 

I regret that I didn't try my best when I was with him...he thinks that he spoiled me too much.

 

He is the best thing ever in my life.

 

4months ago, he said "I've tried my best for you, but I found out you didn't worth it". And then he wanted breakup.

 

And it only got worse.......the more I contact him, the further he got away.

 

I couldn't stop crying in these few months, I even quit my job...

 

And he doesn't let me go to see him.........he's in another country......

 

is that really nothing i can do about?

I tried to call him almost everyday.........but it didn't work.......it only made him hate me more.........he said it's so annoying.......

but when I didn't call for few days........and then call again......he sounds more ok........few times, I asked did he miss me, he even said little bit......

but, most of the time he just answer "NO"....

 

I really don't know what to do........

get over him? heal my wound?

[baddasslegend92]

Only time will heal.

[eva1218]

but I scared that I will keep calling him.....

 

I meant, in these four months......I've keep calling him.....

sometimes, I can still feel he cares about me.....

and I asked him many times give us one more chance....

he said no.........but everytime when I tell him that i missed him, he just stayed slient........I meant he still picking up my call, even though he said he hates it.......

 

Actually, during the first month.......what he asked was space, which he said I didn't give him. And he said I killed his love........something like by not giving him space.

 

We met three months ago, and it ended up badly......really really bad...

I thought we will never have a chance anymore.

And then I told him, I quit my job, and going to somewhere else.

Then, he called my sister to ask if where I was.

and then........another long story.......

 

The reason he wants to break up at first was I didn't deserve his love, and then endup he wants his freedom back.................

He said he is tired of giving me this and that, and doing things for me,

I am always taking from him, he said he doesn't want to make any effort on our relationship anymore..........

 

I said I will change, and how much I love him........blablabla......

and all his reply is NO, TOO LATE.................

and he just want me to leave him alone.

 

In fact, he is alone, we live in different places.

To me, if I stop calling him, this is it.

I so much don't want to give up, but I also know that there's not much I can do about..............

[eva1218]

I think about him day and night........every second.......u could say.....

 

And I am very impressed that I still don't want to give up until now....

I think it is insane...........normal ppl should have been given up already...

 

I don't even know what am I doing.........

 

It has been few months already.....

 

no matter how good he was, he act like a different guy to me now........

I know I should let go...........but it's so hard........just heartbreaking.....

[sprtgrl]

I'm sorry for your situation, but I hope I can give you some advice. The more you call him, the more it makes him retreat to his "cave." You have to give him space and not call him, not for him, but for yourself. You need time to heal, and every phone call brings the hurt back to the surface. Believe me, I've been there, and done the same thing, and it doesn't help the situation. Stop calling for a while, and let him come to you. If it's meant to be, it will happen, and I do believe things happen for a reason. Good luck, and I hope it works out for you.

[scubasnake]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like torture. You need to drop this guy -- he's not worth your time and heartache (as hard as that sounds). Time to focus on you and what you can do with your life to make yourself happy and move on. If he decides he's really interested, he'll come back to you. For now, take care of yourself.

[Cloud802]

He sounds like he's just not trying an ldr and he's saying that stuff to get you to hate him, hence it will be less hard that way. He thinks that if he tries with you then it'll end up bad since it's an ldr. If he really doesn't want to try then you should just stop calling and let it go. Who knows? Maybe he'll call you back?

[eva1218]

thank u very much.......

 

I didn't call for 5days already....

and this saturday is my birthday....i think he wouldn't call.......

and all just heartbreaking.......but I do think that i shouldn't call anymore........or at least for a while.

[eva1218]

right after i said i didn't call for five days, i called him right away.

am i just useless or what.......hopeless to help anyway.

it was a very short call.

last week, I told him i was going to somewhere this week..

and i called him just to tell him i didn't go, and then he laughed...i asked "why did u laugh?", he said "no why", I said "you know I will not go right?", he said "yes". Then he asked me what did i do for last few days, and did i get a job yet.....am I recovered now(I was sick last week)....

and I just answered his question one by one. Eventually, I said "if I knew that you knew i will not go, then I wouldn't call u. Bye"

That's all the conversation.

 

I am just hopeless........to stick on this not calling plan..

[Cloud802]

Wait wait wait, this may sound crazy to all you other posters, but what if he WANTS you to call him. I know, I know, it sounds psychotic, but it's possible, I don't care if the others say that phone calls make the pain just surface again, somethings going on.

[eva1218]

To: Cloud802

 

what makes u think that he wants me to call?

 

he said that he hates when I call......that's why i didn't call for five days.

[arwen]

Hey eva!

 

You should stop calling. I think he has been honest and the relationship has been enough for him. You are only making it worse by annoying him. Plus, everytime you call and don't get what you want out of the conversation, it hurts even more.

 

I know it sounds harsh. I really doubt there will be a chance of getting back together. And IF there is a chance, you would have to change! You would have to give him more space, which obviously, you are not doing right now! Right now you are giving him even more reason to convince him that breaking up with you was the right thing.

 

The no contact rule is often proposed as a strategy for getting back together. However, the MAIN purpose of no contact is to get over someone and have time and energy for yourself. These phone calls aren't getting you anywhere. You need closure for this, but that won't happen if you leave all doors open, so to say.

 

 

Ilse.

[Ron]

Hi, was reading and sharing yr pain.

 

I understand and can truly feel what a sad and angry situation you must be in. It's not easy when someone whom you've been with, shared your dreams and laughters with, and grew up with in the last 5 years.. to have him/her (in this case, it's a he) tell you he doesn't love you anymore.

 

I can't give any sound advice. I think the replies have been honest and helpful.. but at this point of time, i guess nothing helps the pain... the want to know why it happened, the disbelieve that the good times have become something so nasty, the incomprehensible part of how someone who previously loved you can tell you that he doesn't feel for you anymore.

 

Nothing will make sense, and nothing anyone say will probably be able to take away the frustration. That pain is yours alone... and in many ways, that's just a part of growing up.

 

Someone wise once told me in that time of pain that when ppl grow up, sometimes they grow apart. And we just have to realise it when it comes. Take your time, my friend.

 

I guess my humble words to share would be

 

Good pals and some time spent alone with comforting things always help.

 

For you maybe you find solace in a good book, some lyrics in an old song, or even a picture.

 

Call him if you really can't help yourself.. it probably make you feel better than to justify it in yr head (should i call, should i not call, should i call, should i not call.... ).. and after calling, you'll know if that move actually made any difference to how you feel, and to how he feels.

 

Believe in yourself that you gave your best and that people change.

 

Take your time. You deserve the time to heal.

 

Look back at the relationship and instead of finding out what went wrong, remember what was good and what you insist on having those bits again in the next relationship. Don't ever let him take away the virtues (and identity) of who you are, even if he might have said those were the reasons for leaving.

 

I hope you find peace. Cry if you need to, but laugh again.. coz these things don't always make sense....

 

But it love always made sense, where would be the fun of it, no?

 

I have to get back to work. So you take care, my friend.

[eva1218]

Dear Ron,

 

You are so sweet that I do feel better after reading what've u said...

thank you very much......

I know it takes time........but it has been 4 months....

and the LDR made me used to without him stay by me, and i always love him no matter he's with me or not. So, I guess.......it's just more hard than a usual relationship....cause I used to without him but love him still.

 

I think my love is just too tough.

[bat_grrl]

Ron,

 

That was wonderful advice. Very beautifully put and very helpful. We all experience pain in different ways and we all get over it in our own time. Sometimes it seems as though we can't see our way through it and having ppl that can help us find that way is a real comfort.

[Rainy]

Hi

 

I feel your hurt really i do, the first thing you must do is to stop calling him so much, its gonna be hell to start with but try to occupy youself, do things that will make you feel better, take up exercising or a course, by doing this you are getn yourself back on track and if he is to ever phone you, you can be positive and show you are giving him what he wants, the space he asked for,

 

if you do this,, 2 things may happen,

 

1, he may miss you and get in touch and maybe by then you will have got over the worst and not want anymore than friendship

 

 

2, you may not hear from him again and in this time your heart will begin to heal, it wont happen over night, but it will happen and you may even find someone better for you

 

Good luck!!

[eva1218]

Dear all,

 

you guys are really sweet.....perhaps because of u all gone through that...well.....I did call again....and didn't get anything i want....as i thought. But I still think that he is a wonderful man.

he done his best when he was with me, and now he got nothing left to give. but i still hope for the best......one day i might get over him, or he might fall in love with me again. Who knows??

 

i didn't see all of these coming before it happened.....never thought about he would stop loving me one day. Just i guess.......we all don't know what will happen.....this is life....

[eva1218]

today is my birthday, he didn't call.

but i called him yesterday told him to wish me happy birthday, so did he.

 

i guess probably is the time.....

i felt like a dead people in the past four months...

now i would like to try to get over him.....

what a shame.....i have to get over him which i never want to...

the most only precious love in my life...