INFIDELITY

[wayfarer]

Is it considered infeility if you carry on a email realtionship with someone that you will probabaly never ever see, because they live on the opposite side of the country. You have shared confidcnes with them and you have developed a carring attitutde. Both of us are married, but the spouse of my email friend considers it infidelity. AGAIN we would never met, we have never exchanged picutres, neither of us have any idea what the other looks like, but we do have a deep friendship that resulted from a customer/sales realtionship. I have now cut contact with this person at thier request but I did not get any say in the matter, They or the spouse emailed me and said do not communitare with us anymore.. I would like to have a chance to say something. Is this infidleity..to have a email friendship?

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

I think if u are keen on this frdship u shld well, write an email to her/him explaining things thou. But do u like that person, the one in deep friendship with u?

[cleverme123]

Depends on what issues and topics your covering, if you are having intimate conversations. If you are saying things you would fantasize about doing if you met. Really touchy issues to some.

[Enn]

I wouldn't say it was infidelity, but I don't think it's necessarily very considerate and I think you must both be slightly uneasy about the nature of it if you're questioning it in this way.

 

My former boyfriend had a habit of forming email 'friendships' with various girls. He'd go on and on about the importance of these friendships but his track record wasn't good - he seemed to need attention all the time, and he did end up sleeping with most of his friends. He wouldn't do it while in a relationship, but you always felt he was 'lining the next one up'. When I felt everybody knew my business before I did I felt completely betrayed, as bad as infidelity.

 

I think anything that makes your partner(s) uneasy isn't a good thing to continue with, to be honest.

[wayfarer]

Hi Pal,

I think if u are keen on this frdship u shld well, write an email to her/him explaining things thou. But do u like that person, the one in deep friendship with u?

 

 

I can't do that, as I did email and told them both I would like to talk to them if it was okay, and there was no reply, I guess I just need to accept the firndship is over... if it ever really existed

[wayfarer]

Depends on what issues and topics your covering, if you are having intimate conversations. If you are saying things you would fantasize about doing if you met. Really touchy issues to some.

 

 

 

 

wasn't anything like that, and no fantazies about meeting. concerstons were not intimate in they way you might think.

[maasikus]

its not infidelity if u can talk abt it openly to ur spouse and ur friend can talk abt it to their spouse AND either spouse has no issue with it

 

also, being on the opposite side of the country is not a big deal...my friend already had 2 girls visit him from 2 different countries as a result of e-relationships...

 

since ur friend's spouse has a problem, no point in continuing the relationship

 

just my 2 cents

maasikus

[Amethyst]

Geographical distance does not define fidelity. You seem to think it's can't possibly be cheating because you live on opposite sides of the country, and that's not true.

 

There are two types of fidelity: physical and emotional. You may not be having sex, but you can still be cheating on your husband just the same.

 

Here are some questions to help you decide if you are guilty of emotional infidelity:

 

1) Do you discuss things with this man rather than discussing them with your husband?

2) Do you intentionally keep your conversations, etc. a secret from your husband?

3) Would you feel guilty / ashamed / upset if your husband sat at the computer and watched you chat with him?

4) Do you find yourself unable to discuss the situation with your husband? (By this, I mean do you feel like you can't tell your husband how you feel about this guy, what you talk about with him, etc.?)

 

If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, then your relationship has most likely crossed the line. If that's the case, you definitely need to end the relationship before things get even more out of control.

 

One more piece of food for thought: Did you ever consider that even if *you* are being faithful to your husband, the guy you are chatting with could still be 'cheating emotionally' on his wife through your relationship? It *is* possible for him to have feelings for you that have grown too much and gone too far for the boundaries of his marriage even if *you* don't feel the same. And, that would be another reason to cut your ties with him. Even if you feel you're being faithful, do you really want to aide someone else in being *un*faithful?

[maasikus]

Hi there

 

Got ur PM. Sorry to hear about ur friend's wife's decision. What u could do is email her saying u r sorry to hear abt her decision and if she doesnt feel comfortable abt u being friends with her husband ,then u guys will stop emailing each other and that she shud reconsider her decision.

 

If she still wants to divorce him, then its not ur fault at all. Mayb things r not goin great between them and she wud divorce him anyway.

 

Dont worry, and dont let it affect u...mayb she is just threatening him. Just take it easy...her insecurity is their problem...u have been asked to stop it and u will stop it...there ends ur part..what they do after shud not affect u..

 

good luck

i m sure its gonna be okay

 

maasikus

[cleverme123]

no my thought was maybe that is how she took it. That you wanted something she had. And maybe their relationship is beyond repair so she is trying to hold on by lashing out.