Any other girls out there hating their boyfriend's buddies?

[OceanEyes]

Hey everyone!

 

I wanted to get some opinions from women who love their boyfriends/ husbands dearly, yet cannot stand the group of friends that he has. How do you deal with it? Does it sometimes make you question your own relationship, because you feel that your man may share similar characteristics but hide them from you?

 

I've been (silently) trying to deal with my boyfriend of 1.5 years friends. They are all between 23-26, but you could swear that none of them had grown out of their adolescence yet. They are like teenage girls who talk horribly behind each others' backs, yet still hang out and act like best friends. I don't know about you, but I can't trust or respect people who do this. If they do it to people who are supposed to be their "best friends", they will do it to anyone.

 

The thing that bothers me I guess, is that my boyfriend doesn't seem to fit in their little group. He rarely says anything bad about anyone (and if he does, it's usually something that he says to their face at some point). What worries me, is if he really is one of these phony losers, or if he's just trying to (in vain) hold onto his last couple of friends from high school. The worst part, is that we actually live with one, so I am stuck seeing him every day for the next 6 months.

 

I do my best to be completely civil with them, but as time goes on I have less and less patience; sometimes I actually come right out and tell my boyfriend that I think his friends are phony and immature. I hate being around them, and I hate how my boyfriend acts around them. He only has one friend who actually acts his age and treats everyone with respect. You can actually talk to him and expect civility; the other guys are usually vulgar and irritating.

 

Any other women here in a similar predicament?

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

If situation had reached a state of it is his frds or me. I will insults whenever his friends cross his line, and i will tease him off, ur BIRDS of ur feathers are simply irritating and i believe he will know what i mean.

haha! even if so, i dun see the point u shld tolerate anyone anymore. i will hint at him and talk it out and ask qns like do u like this so and so gf of mine? Lolx!.. Get a gf that will piss ur bf off, then he will probably understand how u are feeling..

[Prosper]

Oh i forget to add..

If there is nothing u can do abt it, and u wan to be ur bf's gf. BE SELFISH and seclude into ur world if his frds show BAD HABITS up. I did last time by listening to discman or just act blur. lolx Have fun. U shld take this easy

[RainaBabe]

I love my current boyfriend's friends, as they treat me like part of the group (most of the "group" consists of couples, and we're all friends with each other), but I hated my ex's friends. They were all childish and stupid, they treated both me and my ex badly at times, and my ex never stood up for me when they'd start being asses toward me. I guess that's why he's my ex. As long as your own man treats you well, and his friends aren't grossly disrespectful of you, I guess you just have to realize that his friends are a separate part of his life and shouldn't impact you too much.

[ticklebug]

Before becoming a couple, both of you had lives of your own...friends you didn't share...different interests, etc. You have to respect that.

 

You are also female and he is male...you can't possibly understand the way men bond as friends...and you are being overly judgemental because you are comparing them to the type of friend YOU would make...but this isn't about you. They aren't your friends & you can't expect him to change his friends just because you don't like them.

 

You need to check you attitude about them and your negative comments at the door, immediately. Guys burp, fart, tell tasteless jokes, get loud and rowdy...it's just being a guy. His friends are HIS choice. How he acts around them is HIS choice. You don't like it? When he is having his "friend" time....go hang out with yours.

 

Due to the snide comments you've made & the attitude displayed I'm sure you aren't exactly popular with them either...and they will take every opportunity to get under your skin just due to it. If you continue to be the ....sooner or later you won't be the GF anymore...there is only so much nagging a guy will put up with...and if it is about his friends...they will all have something to say about it....

[Prosper]

Hehe please try to take a lighter note on what i said earlier. please dun nag wahaha it will turn the guys off, esp ur bf.

Hehe, if so, let the bf's frds nag. Lolx! if he loves u, he will be with u.

[goddess23]

wow i can completely relate to most of the points you mentioned. my ex (my first bf, i was his first gf) had a group of friends who just gave me the weirdest vibe. just i never felt liked you know what i mean. they were like just basketball heads, not realllly interested in girls. i mean they like girls and all, but not interested in actually having gfs. and my bf was the only one, they used to be annoyed the little time that i would take him away from them. i think that was a reason we broke up, he wasnt getting enough "guy time". it was annoying, but it didnt really affect us during the relationship, however i did feel they swayed him to feel he didnt need a gf at this point. it does make you wonder about your partner and if they're like that. but i would advise to not let friends bother you, because honestly there are VERY FEW FRIENDS that actualllly truly sincerly support relationships that you will be in. trust me, on both sides, there will be all sorts of bs going on. so try not to let it interfere, and if there isnt a problem with your relationship then dont over analyze the friends and their role. it really doesnt matter unless they're bothering you to the point that its affecting how you feel about eachother.

[OceanEyes]

You need to check you attitude about them and your negative comments at the door, immediately. Guys burp, fart, tell tasteless jokes, get loud and rowdy...it's just being a guy. His friends are HIS choice. How he acts around them is HIS choice.

 

LOL - Whoa! Take it easy there Tickle! I think you've definitely misunderstood my post.

 

In no way do I 'nag' him about his friends, and I do resect that he had his own set of friends before we met. However, they do not respect me or my boyfriend's relationship, and we actually live with one of his friends (our roommate) who is frequently disrespectful of both of us. I hate it, but that's the way it has to be right now, and am just trying to find a way to deal with it on my own.

 

I think you misunderstood my post. I am not trying to control him, but am trying to find a way to deal with the fact that I dislike his friends for the time being. Also, you're right that how he acts around his friends is "his choice" as you say, but when it affects how he treats me, it is no longer just about the guys getting rowdy.

 

The truth is, I could really care less about how they act while I'm not around, but since they always end up just sitting around my apartment drinking and watching porn, I am kind of forced to deal with it. I rarely say anything about it and just try to 'hang in there', but it's tough. It's really tough actually.

[ticklebug]

the only way to deal with it really is to leave when they are around...

 

you mentioned nothing in your original post that he treats YOU differently when they are around...that is a whole other ball of wax.

 

If his friends disrespect you is one thing, you can't do anything about that...but if your BF is...then you may need to think long and hard if he really is right for you if he is choosing his friends' respect over yours.

 

Did the two of you move into this person's apartment, or did your BF invite him to move into yours?

[AlleyCat]

OceanEyes-

 

I, too, dislike some of my boyfriend's friends (one in particular, who I actually dated for a few months about 7 years ago). I hate the way my boyfriend acts when he's around them, and I know that he shares some of their less appealing traits when I'm not around.

 

I've found that it helps to just try to stay away from the friends I don't like. I realize that's probably pretty difficult for you, since you live with one of them, but it's still possible to sone extent. My b/f and I live together, so I will usually just go out or stay in a different room if he has one of his friends over that I don't like.

 

Unfortunately, his friends were there first (or at least some of them were...), so we just have to deal with them, for the most part. There's nothing wrong with letting him know why you don't like them (my b/f actually agrees with me about a lot of points I've made about some of his friends), but the friends probably won't be going away anytime soon. Hopefully, they'll mature eventually....

 

I'd also suggest trying to find another place to live when it's possible.

[OceanEyes]

Thanks for all the replies everyone! Much appreciated!

 

I realize that there isn't much that I can do about this situation. My man always treats me with the same way, and with respect, when none of his friends are around. But, I find that sometimes when they are around, that he gets very strange, rude, and is unbelievably fake with them (and me). They are all fake with each other, which I just don't get. None of them really seem to like each other at all, they name-call and condescend behind each others' backs - is this normal behaviour for guys? I mean, I remember some of the girls I knew in high school doing this, but I NEVER do this to my friends anymore. I don't know. I guess it just doesn't make any sense to me to act like someone is your best friend when they are around, then as soon as they walk out the door, start saying horrible things about them. What the hell is the point of even being friends in the first place if you don't even like someone?

 

Here's something that "the roommate" did when I first met him (so maybe you can understand why I would feel so judgemental with him):

 

He picked up this Irish girl (had just gotten to Canada that morning), brought her back to his house at the time, and slept with her. No big deal right? Happens all the time? Get this: I am sitting on the couch with my boyfriend, the roommate comes down the stairs - naked - with his CONDOM STILL ON from just having sex, bragging about what he had just done (while this poor girl is still upstairs and can probably HEAR HIM).

 

Sounds like a great guy huh? LOL

[ticklebug]

None of them really seem to like each other at all, they name-call and condescend behind each others' backs - is this normal behaviour for guys?

 

considering the ages...yes...they are kidding around with each other...you, on the other hand, are taking what they say personally (female vs male perspective). Guys rag on each other...to their face and behind...it's not that big of a deal.

 

You can't judge them for what they do based on how YOU would handle yourself...on top of not being a guy yourself...you also just aren't THEM, period. You don't have to like it....I don't blame you that you don't.

 

And as far as what your roommate did...not uncommon for a single guy who is full of himself...not to mention he knows he aggravates the hell out of you...so he is going to have as much fun with it as he can...while he can...

 

you two need to get out of that living situation...you are outnumbered so the testoterone rules, and you have to put up with it. If it is HIS aprtment you two are crashing at...he can walk around naked with a condom on bragging about all of his sexual escapades from the past decade and there is little you can do about it. If it was YOUR home...that's different.

[drahcir]

They sound like some of my guy friends. LOL!~!

 

[ They are like teenage girls who talk horribly behind each others' backs, yet still hang out and act like best friends.

[OceanEyes]

And as far as what your roommate did...not uncommon for a single guy who is full of himself...not to mention he knows he aggravates the hell out of you...so he is going to have as much fun with it as he can...while he can...

 

I respectfully disagree. I have quite a few male friends, always have, and most of them are still pretty cool and don't offend me on a regular basis. I love hanging out with guys and usually have a really good time. The farting, belching, and overall nasty personal hygiene doesn't bother me either - I grew up with 2 brothers so I understand this, lol.

 

He and my man are on the lease, but I still pay 1/3 of the rent and utilities just like he does. Plus, most of the furniture, the computers, and just about everything considered "decorative" has been purchased by myself or my boyfriend. I think that is irrelevant in any case - I respect him, his belongings, and his private space while his girlfriend is over (and so does my boyfriend). Oh yeah, I guess it was something worth mentioning that when his girlfriend is over, I am always respectful of their space and even leave the apartment to give them time to themselves.

 

He's had 3 other female roommates in the past too who have all moved out because of him (supposedly, by what my man tells me). But of course, I was assured that he had "grown up" a lot and that things would be different (otherwise I would have found my own place).

 

Ah well. Come July I'm outta here with or without my boyfriend. It's certainly not the end of the world, but I would have liked to find a way to deal with it in a better way than hiding in my bedroom whenever he's around! LOL

[ticklebug]

ocean

 

ou missed a big part of that sentence you disagree with...

 

......WHO ARE FULL OF THEMSELVES....

 

I have a lot of male friends who are respectful as well...but then there are the ones who think they are god's gift to the world...there isn't a damn thing you can do about them except ignore the behavior.

 

and again, you can't judge him base don how you would (or do) handle a situation...he isn't you...

 

ocean, he considers it HIS place...your name isn't on the lease so he can do whatever he pleases...all you can do is avoid him like the plauge.

[ReadyorNot]

I havent read any of this yet but from the title alone I AM WITH YOU!!!!

 

I feel terrible but I cant help it

[Fif Angel]

Well I think it`s absolutely outrageous that he just paraded in front of you naked.Wearing a used condon too, how disgusting. Most of the guys I know would never dream of doing that, full of themselves or otherwise.

 

How did your boyfriend react when he came sauntering in? I know my boyfriend would be incredibly angry if a friend of his did that in front of me. It`s a question of respect. Ultimately you live in the flat too and have some say over his behaviour. I would definitely have had some strong words with him about that incident.

 

With regards to his other friends, how often do they come round? If it is just once or twice a week for a couple of hours then you may have to just grit your teeth and get on with it. If it is more frequently then have a long conversation with your boyfriend. How much have you actually told him about your feelings for these friends? Is there any way he could meet them somewhere else, at one of their appartments say?

 

Is it an all male group? Most guys react differently in a big group than they would individually, acting a lot more laddish, it`s kind of a male ego thing. I have noticed my boyfriend acting slightly differently around his male friends and not necessarily in a nice way. He seems somehow `cooler`- that`s perhaps an odd word to use, but I think it`s appropriate- his whole attitude is out to impress, he is a lot more guarded with what he says, generally louder and a lot more physical. But then, think of how we interact with our girlfriends. A lot more giggly and girly, right? It could be just about how the sexes interact wth each other. Most guys, even the loving gentle types react differently with a group of their mates.

 

Nonetheless it does seem like these guys are being particular jerks. It`s interesting that you say your boyfriend has nothing in common with them. Are they friends he has known for a long time? It`s hard sometimes to let go of people we know from way back even if we have changed a lot. Your worried that your boyfriend is really a shallow person etc because of how his friends act. Maybe he`s just changed a lot over the years and they haven`t. People change so much over time, especially from their late teens. He isn`t necessarily like these guys personality wise, maybe he just used to have something in common with them but now keeps in touch for reasons of security and familiarity as opposed to shared interests.

 

Of course the fact is most people, no matter how close we are to them, react differently with different people or when their boyfriend/girlfriends aren`t there. A couple of months ago I find some flirty text messages in my man`s phone from some girl he met at a course for his work. It was perfectly innocent, nothing actually happened but I was upset that he would give out his number to some girl he had just met and who obviously had a crush on him. It got me thinking, though, about how we can`t always police our significant others or know how they interact with other people. It`s not a very nice thought but it`s life.

[OceanEyes]

Thanks Fit, I appreciate your response!

 

About the naked condom thing: My boyfriend just kind of told him to go upstairs and get dressed, and that he was disgusting. He didn't make too much of a big deal about it though, probably because this is the type of behaviour that everyone has come to expect from him.

 

I won't lie - the roommate does have a pretty funny personality - but he usually doesn't know where to draw the line. I know that when my girlfriends from out-of-town visit that he's going to hit on them, and that I am going to have to warn all of them about how nasty he is. I am actually afraid to have friends over in fear of how he might act around them, that they won't want to come back and visit me (wahhh, right? lol ), etc.

 

His friends, aside from the roommate, are around pretty often. I know what you're saying about 'gritting the teeth and dealing with it', which is something that I've gotten pretty used to doing (and will continue to). It can just be a very uncomfortable existence. Thank GOD I will be spending my Christmas holidays in Cuba! haha

 

Thanks again Fit!

[sarahsmith]

I came on tonight looking for this exact topic, because these feelings are what I am dealing with as well. My fiance has a bunch of friends from high school (though they are all in their 40s now) I consider to have little class. Their conversation doesn't interest me and they basically live a lifestyle I do not approve of, nor want to be a part of. I know it is judgmental of me -- but it is the truth and I find it very difficult to be in their presense or even to accept the fact that my fiance would spend time with most of them. (There are a few decent people in the bunch.) When I think of the future and having children I know that my reactions toward them will only get worse (I too am losing patience with each encounter) and I know for sure that I will not want them around my kids. My feeling is that they are a negative influence on my boyfriend and just plain depressing to me.

 

I think part of the problem is social class. I'm not talking about money or social status, mind you, just class, which doesn't require money to have. It does require self respect. While my boyfriend generally appears "respectable", his friends don't. They sleep around, cheat on their husbands, talk about "tits" and use other similar language. One of them showed up at a bar the other night with her leather shirt half unbottoned and her breasts sticking out of her push up bra -- all in front of her soon to be exhusband whom she cheated on. I have a problem with being "friends" with people who live like that and do not think my fiance should value that kind of a friend.

 

One of the responders here said to just accept these friends -- otherwise your bf will leave you. My gut feeling is that if your bf (and mine) is friends with these people, on some level he must share some of the same values. I guess the question becomes ... Can you (or I) accept that our significant other has these values? If not, I guess we need to let them go.

[OceanEyes]

Hi Sarah, and welcome to Enotalone! It's been a while since I noticed any replies on this thread, but I can say that it's still a bit of a problem for me, also.

 

One of the responders here said to just accept these friends -- otherwise your bf will leave you. My gut feeling is that if your bf (and mine) is friends with these people, on some level he must share some of the same values.

 

Well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I can't say that I agreed with that poster. I got a sense that I was being told that I had absolutely no say, that my opinions didn't matter and that I should just deal with whatever crude behaviour was occurring around me. I have to say, I'm not that kind of person, and I doubt that you are either.

 

Although you have a right to feel any way you want about the situation, it's not likely that you can actually do anything about how they are. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half, and have found most of his friends very offensive and downright rude in some situations. The tough part for me, is that one of these guys is actually our roommate and I have to see him on a daily basis.

 

They sleep around, cheat on their husbands, talk about "tits" and use other similar language. One of them showed up at a bar the other night with her leather shirt half unbottoned and her breasts sticking out of her push up bra -- all in front of her soon to be exhusband whom she cheated on.

 

I'm guessing that your fiancee has quite a few female friends then. Are you sure that isn't part of the problem? I'm pretty sure, that if my boyfriend was going out to bars with women who have their breasts hanging out of their tops and who cheat on their husbands, that I would feel a bit strange. That would probably be a bit too much drama for me to deal with.

 

How does your fiancee behave around them? I don't think that a guy in his 30s/ 40s should still be easily influenced. You mention that they are negative influences on your husband, but I'm pretty sure that a man of his age would have enough common sense and strength to actually BE his own person. Well, I would hope so anyway. Do you find that your man is impressionable? If so, that could also be part of the problem.

 

I think the main things to consider here are:

 

- How your boyfriend treats YOU.

 

- How his friends treat YOU. Do they respect you?

[sarahsmith]

Thanks for your response, Ocean Eyes. To answer your question, my fiance's friends actually do respect me and so does he ... it's more about me just not reacting well to being in their presense. My fiance says he can't understand why I react to them the way I do because he says I am generally a very nice and nonjudgemental person. Somehow their way of living just gets under my skin. When I look at things objectively it makes me feel bad that I can't accept them, especially since they do treat me with respect. They have not done anything negative towards me. And I certainly do not have to see them as often as you have to see your roomate. (That must be very difficult. I can't imagine it, actually.)

 

I've been thinking about this situation a lot and I think my strong, negative reaction to them has to do with my own sense of who I am. I guess I am a somewhat spiritual person who would like to be a better person. However, I am not a strong willed person who has a strong sense of self. I guess I am the type of person who would really benefit from being around positive influences -- people who discuss more thought provoking conversations or are involved in charitable acts or are adventurous -- people who would challenge me to be a better person. After spending time with my fiance's friends I end up feeling worse. They literally depress me. And as I am getting older I think to myself

"I don't need to waste me time like this." So being with them makes me angry and resentful too. I don't really understand it. I guess it is more my reaction to them that I need to deal with. Maybe I need to surround myself with more positive influences to negate their impact ... that might do the trick.

 

I think my fiance is his own person and he is not going to change radically I am sure -- but I guess the influence I am referring to is a more subtle influence. He's known these people for probably 25 years and I guess at times I wonder about how they may have helped shape his values. Spending about 10 hours a week with people who talk about nonsense, tell dirty jokes, talk about people behind their backs, watch people cheat on others, etc. has to have some effect on a person. I think who we are or who we can potentially be is influenced by what we do, by what we experience and what we think about. I think we are forever changing little by little as we live. Another way to look at it is I think my fiance would grow so much more in many other ways if he spent 10 hours a week with a more positive group of friends.

 

I wish I could give you some advice. You seem to be doing better than I would in your situation. I do think it would be better if the other roomate weren't there with you. Can you and your bf find your own place or politely ask the roomate to?

 

Have you told your bf in a calm moment how you feel when he treats you differently in front of his friends? I would try to let him know what specific things he does and how it makes you feel so he is aware of that tendency. I don't think this is nagging -- just healthy communication. It depends on how you say it too.

 

Also, if you are paying for part of the rent I do not think you should have to sit there and condone crude behavior. I would get up and leave the room if that were happening or, again, talk to your bf about it. You have a right to how you feel and if you do not want that kind of behavior in your home you have the right to say that. Your bf could save the porn nights for occasions when you are not present -- say when you are out with your girlfriends -- or when they are all at his friends' apartments.

 

That's just my opinion though.

[wheelie]

This is really interesting, you guys.

 

Ocean, I am *really* sorry to hear about that situation. It sucks when our homes can't be our sanctuaries. I think you are right on target in your thinking -- you don't have to like or accept this, and you get to move out and away from the gross behavior very soon. I know it's common for guys to like to "test" girls and see where they draw the line, but that doesn't mean it's something that you have to shrug and accept. Quite the contrary -- there is no benefit to you, the roommate, your bf, or your relationship for you to just grin and bear it.

 

Because of the nature of my jobs, I've had the pleasure/misfortune to be the only girl in groups of guys quite a bit in my life (often sharing living quarters). Guys in groups are involved 24-7 in jockeying with each other for hierarchical position within the group using insults and stunts. They pretty much forget about you as a person (reducing you to Sexual Possession or The Patron Saint of All Things Real Men Must Avoid) and go around acting out mysterious little games among themselves. (As you said, much like teenage girls.)

 

Whether this is your bf's "real" tendency or not, that's almost a philosophical question. While not all men do it, I have seen plenty of men get quite odd around other men and be decent, respectful, engaged companions the rest of the time.

 

Now, drawing on that experience, I have a suggestion for you to consider while waiting for your lease to expire.

 

When you've got an idiot on your hands, they are never going to grow up and respect your feelings as long as they can "get at" you by acting like stupid little boys, doing sexist stunts that make you feel vulnerable as a woman (the porn and the condom thing), and putting you in the "mom" position. And the other guys -- including your bf -- can't back you up without lowering their position within the hierarchy.

 

Until you can move out, I suggest you consider something that worked beautifully for me in several hostile situations where I was the only girl among a bunch of rowdy guys. It takes a fair bit of nerve, but it will revolutionize your realtionship.

 

First, abandon any traditional roles of "hurt girl", "tested mom" or "only rational adult around here" immediately, and reclaim your feisty girlhood. I'm talking about fighting back by annoying him and grossing him out, on purpose, with a light heart and strong head. If you do it right, it is fun and empowering and lets off steam for you, as well as giving you something to lord over him.

 

I'll get specific. Right under your nose, you have the ability to transform this little game so that he will think twice about messing with you in the future. The method? Tampons. Used tampons.

 

I kid you not. When it's porn night, hang one on his doorknob by the string, so that he has no choice but to either remove it personally, or summon you to do the job. Then position yourself with the other guys. Most likely he will come to you and freak out, and when he does, be totally lighthearted -- what, you can't take it? It was JUST a JOKE! Geez! (Make sure it is done in front of his friends.)

 

If he ups the ante, you'll have to keep it up for a while until he gets bored. Drive him insane with girly stuff. Commandeer the bathroom area with a sea of makeup and lingerie. Go all out, and refuse to move it. Anything verbal he throws at you, throw right back! But remember that it's not "real life", it's a game -- be unflinchingly lighthearted and laughing as you do it, so that he would find it embarrassing to take any of this seriously. For yourself, remember that you are moving out, so there is no possible way he can win this, you're just toying with him for the time being to amuse yourself. If his temper flares -- then you've really got him! Then you can bargain for truce.

 

If you are still reading, you might be blanching and saying you'd never want to do that, you are an honest, caring and sensitive person and want others around you to be that way, too. But he doesn't care a bit about your feelings -- you remember how it was in high school, right? Immature people make outsiders feel bad specifically in order to make themselves feel better (as the gf, you're the outsider). As far as the friends go, you'll probably just give them a laugh and a funny story, and if they're backbiting types anyway it's not like you have to protect your delightful relationship with them anyway. As for the bf, if you've discussed your feelings with him, just give him a wink and he'll probably figure it out.

 

And yes, what I'm suggesting you do may technically qualify as trying to make someone else feel bad. But it's not good for your health to be letting someone get your goat all the time. By turning it into a laughing, harmless game of who can gross out who, you take the hurt out of it and repossess your space.

 

Hey, you probably already played a version of this with your 2 brothers! So please give it some thought!

 

Good luck!

[Luciana]

Sarah: nice to see someone from my generation here. Everyone here seems so young!

 

My BF (now fiance) hates if say anything bad about anyone he knows. He defends them like hell. That always bothers me, because sometimes I make some criticism about a family member of mine or a friend of mine to him. He puts his friends/family in a pedestal. He gets very defensive.

One guy friend he has is a very rich guy who likes fast boats and fast women. He once invited my BF for a boat ride with drugs. My BF is super against drugs but when he told me the story he still didn't attack his playboy friend!

 

Another playboy friend invited him to a strip club and cheated in his GF. No wonder I didn't like them. And the 3rd one had a 3some with a married couple. Hmm.....not my kind of people.

 

Thank God he has a few decent friends too, but he DOES seem attracted to the bad boy type. That bothers me. But I made it very clear he can see these friends when he wants, but without me. And because I don't like them, I think he sees a lot less of them.

[Luciana]

Also sometimes your BF's friends reject you because they are JEALOUS of you.

Yes, especially the loser ones that can't find a relationship. They had their friend all for themselves and are bothered by the new girl stealing him away. So they get hostile with her, but the stupid BF doesn't even notice.

 

Anyone seen the Anchorman? It has something similar.

[OceanEyes]

Also sometimes your BF's friends reject you because they are JEALOUS of you.

 

This is interesting Luciana, I never thought of this. The most recent development in this situation of mine was that "the roommate" friend of my boyfriend, just went on vacation with his girlfriend, which of course THRILLED me at first. Then a couple of hours after they leave, I go to take a shower and notice that they have TAKEN HALF OF MY WASHROOM TOILETTRIES, including a brand-new shampoo/ conditioner set from Aveda that cost me over $50. This, of course, coming from a guy who brags about his fiances, telling us how much money he has in the bank on a regular basis (yet still needs his parents to co-sign for items he wants to buy). The shampoo and conditioner was in addition to a new razor I bought (SICK), as well as a new tube of toothpaste, a bar of soap, and - get this - half a box of tampons. I've already taken the liberty of cutting out sales for these items from the Wal-Mart flyer, pasting them onto a piece of paper, and leaving it on his bed. I hate him and his girlfriend equally at this point.

 

Back to what you were saying Luciana, I didn't look at it in a way that could be HIM being jealous of ME. He and my man used to hang out just about every day until I came along. Now my boyfriend spends practically all of his time with me. Plus, "the roommate's" girlfriend has about as much personality as dry toast, which is probably something else that bothers him when comparing her to me.

 

Also - thanks so much for replying wheelie, your situation reminds me a lot of what I have to deal with almost every day of my life. And the thing about the tampons? BRILLIANT, except that I wouldn't put used ones out of fear of what he would do in retribution (I've actually seen him URINATE in and on the shoes of the last girl who pissed him off).

 

The other night while we were playing Scrabble with some other people, he actually pulled his disgusting little pecker out just to see if anyone noticed. I guess having an abnormally small, wrinkled, grotesque-looking penis would be a bit of an explanation as to why he's such a horrible human being. Ah well, only 5 months to go!