love or not???

[skittles]

Ok, I told my guy I love him, and he hasn't told me back. I told myself that I was going to give it some time to see where we could lead before I decide on how to proceed with the relationship. It has been a little over a month since I told him. His actions haven't been negative. He still stops by to see me and returns emails and emails me. If I ask him to do something, like come by and see me, he will. Still keeps me informed of where he goes and things in his life. When we are around a group of people he will not look at me directly but talks to me, when we are by ourselves he does look in my eyes while we are talking. His flirting has not been as heavy as it once was but he is still tender and kind toward me. Finally my question....are these signs that he loves me and he just doesn't want to say it or is it still a level below it? Is he close to saying it or not? Just want some opinions, please!!

[RayKay]

Question..how early on in the relationship did you tell him? Did he say anything at all about it? He might just not be sure how he feels yet, or he might of gotten a little shy or a little pressured when you told him (though him still being around shows he is probably interested).

 

What do HIS actions show you, in other words how does he make you feel around him?

 

Personally, I generally wait for a guy to say it or to bring up the conversation, though will still show him through actions how I feel about him. It is not that I am shy about how I feel, but in my experience if a guy says it first after a length of time it seems to have more meaning then if I feel he replied just because, or if he does not reply at all! And so far, anyone I have dated has been the one to go that avenue first I have probably been feeling it before they get there, but I am on Cloud 9 when they bring it up!

[skittles]

I told him almost a year into the relationship.

 

he has told me he loved but that was before we started our relationship. We were friends first. He told me back in April or may but I took it as friendship love. Maybe I was wrong, but I didn't want to discuss it with him because I wasn't in love with him then. If he meant it in a romantic way, i didn't want to have any pressure on me to say it or feel the same way.

[Mr. Cactus]

Personally, I generally wait for a guy to say it or to bring up the conversation

 

Why is that? Do other females think along these lines? What is wrong with a women bring up the subject first? I guess one reason I ask is that however is the first person in a relationship to say this puts themselves under a heck of a lot of pressure (it can often be a do or die thing). It is an extremely difficult thing to do. For my own part, it took me a month to pluck up the courage to even say it.

 

Sorry, I just think sometimes blokes get the rough end of the stick. We are expected to make all the preliminary moves, we are the ones who have to suffer all the rejections when asking a girl out, and now we are seemingly also expected to dive off the high board and say we love you first

[skittles]

I think that society or the way we have been "trained" for the guy to make the first move on anything.

But I have always been the type of person to speak my feelings and whats on my mind. Keeping it inside is no good.

[RayKay]

Personally, I generally wait for a guy to say it or to bring up the conversation

 

Why is that? Do other females think along these lines? What is wrong with a women bring up the subject first?

 

There is nothing "wrong" with it, but I think a few of us have been in that situation as poster is in where we say it, and don't hear anything back. That's why. Or we feel we are saying it too early, etc. It does not mean we don't talk about long term or make references or actions towards how we feel...I just won't say the three words until he brings it up. If they are observant, they already KNOW how I feel by my actions and my other words long before, I promise that! I don't shy away about my emotions, but I don't think that not saying the three words is denying my emotions, as I do show them or carry them out in other ways.

[RayKay]

Sorry, I just think sometimes blokes get the rough end of the stick. We are expected to make all the preliminary moves, we are the ones who have to suffer all the rejections when asking a girl out, and now we are seemingly also expected to dive off the high board and say we love you first

 

I make preliminary moves on many things..ask out on dates, approach, make first move to be "exclusive"...I have been rejected too, and you should not be jumping off the high board, you should be able to tell by her actions and her other words how she feels.

 

I just won't say it first. And for me it has worked well, others can do something different that is fine, but for me hearing them first from the guy I am with has more meaning as I have been jaded in the past when it comes to that. As I have said, I have demonstrated it long before that, it takes me courage to to say it, but I usually feel it earlier I think and am not willing to be in same position as poster above.

[Mr. Cactus]

Well I just guess I am a bit sensitive to it because I have only just said those three words. And it was terribly difficult to say, even though I was sure about my feelings. And the reason it was so difficult is that I was completely unsure about her feelings. For all I know she could have run off and never wanted to come near me again.

 

I just want all the ladies who leave it to their boyfriends to bring it up - how horrendously difficult it is and what a huge amount of courage it takes to say it.

[RayKay]

I just want all the ladies who leave it to their boyfriends to bring it up - how horrendously difficult it is and what a huge amount of courage it takes to say it.

 

I know, I have been there before too getting ready to say it, but they beat me to it

 

We know it takes courage! But that is sort of the point...then we know they really mean it. The fact is women do usually have more men "after them" and have met some jerks too, a guy who can say it first is awesome

[angel2005sweets]

hey i under stand your postion caues i'v been there one times too many. you should wait and see what he does. just because he did not say he love u right away does not mean hes dose not love you. so hang in there and show him some regection as if you dont want anything to do with him. thats all i can say

[Mr. Cactus]

[quote="RayKayThe fact is women do usually have more men "after them" and have met some jerks too, a guy who can say it first is awesome

 

Hey RayKay. Now I feel really good after you said that. Wow. Awesome. Maybe I can hold my head high All I did was ask her to give me points for being candid lol Anyway, your comment has made me feel much better, regardless of the outcome of my quandary. Thank you