HaloDestroyer Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Hey, I have a couple of Haiku that I'd like you guys to R&R for me! *** Venomous Droplets, Flowing Tears Down Silver Glades, Pure Ovals Of Pain. *** Blood Flows Like Water, Life Essense Ebbing Away, I Fall To My Knees. *** Death. Does every soul not Cry your name wistfully, for You hold the power. Legend or lost cause, They will all kneel in time, to You and Fate alike. Skeletal Image - A cloaked shroud on ethereal steed Comes to claim what's his. Deep glowing red orbs, They see no remorse, only Guide the claw that wields The sword of heartbreak, Destruction and mayhem are His lethal trademark. He relishes in The creation of lost souls, For that is his art. He caters for those Who wish relief from pain, or Are just curious. His doom-bearing scythe, Slakes the thirst of those who are Really suffering. *** That's it.... Could I have some opinions on each one, maybe pros and cons, please!? XxX xXx Ben. Link to comment
RockG Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 You're deep! The Haikus were awesome, very intense! I feel anger, sorrow, worry, alot of negitive emotions, sad ones. Very well written! The're really good. i know poetry, hakius are my hardest, so way to go. Just got one question- Poetry reflects you real life, in many ways. Is there something so sad in your life you can't write a less... depressing poem! If too personal don't answer, just curious where you get your energy from. Link to comment
under_the_pressure Posted December 8, 2004 Share Posted December 8, 2004 Venomous Droplets, Flowing Tears Down Silver Glades, Pure Ovals Of Pain. I like this one. Keep writing. Great work. under* Link to comment
HaloDestroyer Posted December 9, 2004 Author Share Posted December 9, 2004 Thanks guys... If you check my other posts, Rock, you could find out... Ben. XxX xXx Link to comment
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