how to be patient with gf

[shiminimo]

I think I need to learn to have more patience with gf... I let her use my truck for the weekend and she put a big dent in it. I'm glad that she's ok but she seems to careless with my stuff. I borrow alot of stuff to her and she doesn't take care of it or never gives it back.. she seems to be careless with everything.

[OceanEyes]

Wow. You don't really seem to like all that much about your girlfriend shiminimo! lol

 

1. She can't cook well and you're afraid of her burning the house down or killing you.

 

2. She doesn't clean well.

 

3. You can't trust her with expensive belongings or inexpensive ones.

 

4. You feel that she is irresponsible and careless.

 

This may not be the response you're looking for, but are you sure that you see a future with this girl? Already it seems like most of the things she does are getting on your nerves. Things like this tend to get worse over time, not better.

 

I'm sure that she does have some great points about her, but the things that bother you about her are probably things that you won't easily be able to change. Also, are you the type of person who can actually tolerate someone destroying your property and not being able to trust them with things you work for?

 

I only say this because it seems like you're finding a lot of faults in her already. Sometimes things like this can be warning signs of what's to come in the future. How long have you been with her anyhow?

[shiminimo]

I been with her for two years, I just moved into her place.

[OceanEyes]

Well, 2 years is a pretty long time to spend with someone at 20.

 

Even though this sounds really silly, I've found that it's helped me to understand a lot of situations in my life, not just ones involving relationships.

 

When I am having a hard time evaluating something in my life, I sit myself down and actually write out a list of pros and cons. I write it because I like to be able to read it over again and again, it helps to actually be able to think about each thing.

 

If your girlfriend has a lot of personality traits that you couldn't see yourself living without - and that list is longer and more detailed than the one that you don't like about her, then I think you should have your answer: there are simply too many things that I love about this girl to throw things away because of the few things that I don't like.

 

I think that being patient is either something that you can do, or that you are mentally incapable of doing as an individual. If you are short-tempered and lose your cool in other situations in life, then you will probably find that it's almost impossible to give your girlfriend a lot of extra patience. You might be able to at first, but I think these things will really start to get under your skin after a while.

[shiminimo]

I don't ever get mad at her. just fustrated sometimes. getting mad doesn't solve anything IMO. but she is a good girl, I love her!

[Day_Walker]

well you need to let her know that you are displeased with the way she treats your stuff. If you are willing to put up with this behavior then you have already accepted that she is going to do this. You need to show some kind of emotion and let her know that you dont think its okay for her to treat your stuff this way. If she doesnt comply then she is being selfish and you want to reconsider being in a relationship with her.

[shiminimo]

yeah, i know what you mean there. thanks Day Walker.

[DBL]

Well if you don't yell, don't get mad at her, then why would she care if she wrecks your stuff?

 

Accidents are one thing, but some careless BS...you need to step up. Put her in her place about respecting your stuff. Get a little crazy so she will think twice the next time she borrows something.

 

DBL

[OceanEyes]

^ I agree. Lay the SMACK DOWN!

 

 

[PAdreamer]

Sometimes it just takes a LOT of adjusting. Being with someone for two years still can't prepare you for the new challenges of living together. This is the time where you have to choose if these things are really gonna get in the way of the two of you having a good relationship or not. Decide if these things are so important to you that you would let them hurt what you've got.

[Breea]

I agree with DBL and Day_Walker. It sounds like it's about respect and setting boundaries. I would definitely let her know that if she damages something (like my car!) she's gotta pay to have it fixed. That's only fair imo. If I dented my bf's car, I would have it fixed and be very apologetic. It sounds like she doesn't really care, which isn't good for you (lol). Make her responsible for her actions. You don't have to be mean, just firm. Just my 2 cents. Good luck -Bree

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

Lolx! It seems to me u really dun like quite a lot abt ur gf.. Do u really love her? LoLx!!

I believe if someone loves u, he/she will love ur things. But seemingly if she isnt those that are FEMININE AND DEMURE AND CARE ABOUT HER THINGS character, then well why not join her for a change in your life? Who knows she is teaching u to take things easy in life and have fun around with her?

I know it is pretty irritating for a start as it seems as if she doesnt appreciate u but i think a laff or two shared between u both would do u both a pat on the shoulder shld u lay the terms out on her, on how much u care for her and how much u care abt her things and vice versa.

I can sense personal growth in both for u for the 2 years that u are together in her, and hey.. take on this challenge, u will see a NEW SIDE OF U.

 

Thanks for reading and HEY U BRAVO!!