Friend with Benefits!

[OmegaAspect]

Ok, heres the deal. This friend of mine is on the debate team with me, and since we practice quite a bit, we spend a lot of time with eachother. This past weekend I asked her to a winter formal, a prelude asking her out.

 

The problem is, she does not like the whole GF/BF commitment because it restricts her ability to flirt. I am actually looking for a relationship with her, but that counteracts her ideas... So, what I am considering is Friends with benefits, minus any actual sex. This way our flirting and physical contact could resume without upsetting either party.

 

My questions are...

 

1) Is this morally wrong?

 

2) What other way could I put it, besides the ever-offensive FwB.

 

3) How should I go about suggesting something like this to her?

 

Please don't think I am a jerk for this, like I said, I really like her, and Im pretty sure she shares feelings, but our beliefs conflict and I don't know what else to do...

 

Thanks in advance for anyone who took time to read this monster =)

[Gunther]

1. Depends who your talking to.

2. I can't really think of another way to put it.

3. Well, you could always just say it to her.

 

Personaly, I dont think this is a good idea, if she isnt willing to settle for just one guy, usualy that isnt a good sign. Although you like her, you might want to consider looking somewere else.

[wanderer]

if you want my opinion, here it is, but i doubt you'll like it.

 

i say don't even try to do friends with benefits. chances are you'll start to get way too attached and she won't want that, and you'll just end up getting hurt. also, does she have any kind of bf or someone she's already seeing? if so, then don't even try. it will be way too messy.

 

my advice, stay away from it. if she's really so flirty that she doesn't want a relationship because she won't be able to flirt, then i doubt she's showing real "feelings" for you.

[OmegaAspect]

Lol, thank you for your brutal honesty. I think that is just what it took to... shake me out of it... Well, wish me luck on finding someone else!

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

I lucky found my way into a friends with benifits "relationship". She's a good friend of mine and will always be. But I don't see her as anything more than a friend. She's a very sexy friend, and somehow, after the flirting go more and more steamy, we eventually got into talking about Sex and then I sort of assumed that we were going to have sex the next time we see each other.

 

But I made it clear to her at the outset that I am not interested in her more than a friend. She agrees, and feels the same way about me. So in about a week we are going to be tearing each other's clothes off when we go away together.

 

But our situations are different. I wouldn't call it a friends with benifits, if the "benifits" is usually the sex part. Secondly, I would never do this with someone I was romantically interested in. You can't start with sex and end in love. I agree with the others that you should just back away before things get too serious. She seems a little immature if she wants to jeopardize a potential future because she likes to flirt so much.

 

Good luck

[studmaster3265]

Ok dude first of all i dont think this could ever work. reason behind it is if shes a flirt then shes gonna be with other guys doing the same thing with you too no? she has to be willing to settle down. Anyways if you guys are friends iwth benefits one day your gonna see her with another guy or something and your just gonna get mad and crazy. take from me ive been in these situations tousands of times and it always ends in nothing. Your better off with a relationship. find another way to approach her on that or just simply walk away very slowly