I need help.. please answer..

[SamiGirl68]

First of all thanks for reading this everyone.. Well let me let you in on everything.. then I'll got my questions for you to answer.. I'll try to keep it short..

I have been with my boyfriend for a little bit over a year.. and its been a great year.. Well except for the fact that I get jelous over EVERY little thing.. its unreal.. If he talks to me about another girl.. I get soooo jelous.. Well it just happens that a few days ago.. he started giving my friend advice online.. and he "owed her a hug" and he was calling himself her "big brother" and all those little things bothered me.. and then he said he owed her a hug.. cause all the help or whatever.. and he does give great advice.. I meet him threw this friend.. she talked to him online, and gave me his sn to talk to him.. well anyways he never hugged her but he kept going up to her, saying "you owe me a hug" and he said this 2 days in a row.. and it got me soooo mad.. so I told him.. and he basically told me he was sick of this whole jelousy thing..

..We got in a huge fight and almost broke up.. and he hurt me... a lot.. saying he loves me.. but he doesn't know if we are in love.. (I am his first real girlfriend, he only had one and he never meet her.. a cyber deal.. He lost "it" to me.. and I was the first girl he ever kissed) Well I need to get over this jelousy!!

 

Thats most of the story.. Its hard to type your life out!! Now questions..

1. Whats YOUR opinion of this?

2. How can I stop being jelous over everything?

3. How can I forgive him, for the things he said when we got in a fight?

4. any other thing you want to say

[whathappensnext]

ok well i would be mad too. i don't think you can not be jealous. there will always be something just maybe realize that they are just friends and your the one hes dating. And i don't know what to say about you forgiving him i guess wait until you both cool down and ask him if he really ment it.

[Mun]

Hi there,

I understand how you feel and I wonder what is causing this constant jealousy. I have a few questions that I would like answered to see what is going on.

 

When he does these things do you feel like he is doing them on purpose to bother you? After you have told him that you are hurt, does he change his ways or does he keep on doing what it was that you didn't like? What is his attitude towards you?

 

Most important. How do you feel when you are with him? Do you feel he respects you or that he just brushes you aside?

[SamiGirl68]

I sometimes feel like hes doing in on purpose.. but I KNOW he isn't.. He changed his ways about what he said to me when we got in a fight.. but he wont change his ways about talking to other women.. I guess thats my fault.. His attitude to me, is one full of love.. and sorryness for the fight. but not sorry about the whole girl issue..

 

When I am with him.. I feel soooo in love.. and ALL the jelousy goes away.. and it seems the world is PERFECT!! I feel he totally respects me.. more then anyone else has ever respected me..

[Mun]

Hi,

Thanks for the answers. What you need to do is work on your self-esteem. You say he loves you and you feel totally loved by him when he is with you. Then the problem lies with you. I will warn you though, one of the biggest turn-offs for a guy is a girl who doesn't have confidence. It comes accross and weakness and looks needy/desperate. Even if you feel jealousy, the last thing you want to do is show him that you do.

 

When he is acting like a jerk just go away from him for a bit. Ignore him if you have too and he will get the message. If you argue with him about it or make a scene he will only dismiss it and you will feel even worst. Plus he will start to think maybe you are not so special after all, since you are so easily bothered by other girls... and I know you don't want that.

 

Treat yourself well and work on feeling good about yourself and other girls won't be such a bother. If you know he loves you and wouldn't cheat on you then you have nothing to worry about. He is yours! Remember, he wants you! not some other girl.

[whathappensnext]

Yeah he might be doing it just to make sure you still care and are intrested. Sorry i'm not much help.