Have I NOT sacrifised enough??

[SweetGemini]

Im in a LDR.. we visit each other often, but as it is getting serious we really want to be together. so i am making the move to move there with him, as my job is quite flexible... and im a person that can adjust easily as i am used to moving around..

 

however, he said he would never move for anyone because of (family, work, friends) hmm... recently he said he doesnt like me going out to clubs, and if i was to move there and want to go out to clubs i shouldnt even bother moving there... he said you gotta make sacrifises in a relationship in order for it to work...

 

it makes me wonder, what sacrifises has he made? havent i made enough sacrifises since im the one that is making the BIG move... my whole life is gonna change, new job, new friends, new surroundings...

 

the good thing about him is that he trusts me, he loves me so much, he treats me like a princess, he adores me, and likes to take care of me...

 

i told him i had no problem giving up clubbing as long as he would take me dancing, and he assured me he would definetely take me dancing but to no filthy clubs..

 

sorry guys, im just thinking openly here, any advice? suggestion? am i sacrifising too much?

[ticklebug]

clubbing is basically for singles...if you move there and take your relationship to the next level... you won't be a single person anymore...so there really is no reason for you to be going and doing that activity. If he compromises and takes you dancing every once in a while - great!

 

Every "sacrafice" you make is a choice. You don't HAVE to do any of them...just because you choose to make more than he does..doesn't make him a bad person...he is just set in how he feels. There is no scoresheet when it comes to changes a person is willing (or unwilling) to make in a relationship.

[lady00]

I disagree on the idea that clubbing is for singles...clubbing is for fun and I don't think it's just for singles at all. I know plenty of couples who go out clubbing together and I also know of couples who go out clubbing separately (with their friends). Dancing and having a little to drink is a great way to relax and have fun and I don't see that as necessarily being about hooking up with anyone. If you want to go clubbing with your girlfriends, I don't see what the big deal is. I think your bf should respect the fact that it's an activity you enjoy and he should trust that if you go out to a club with friends that you won't be hooking up with anyone...just having a good time.

[SweetGemini]

yes i agree with u lady, not everybody goes clubbing to hook up, whenever i go, is to dress up nicely, feel good about myself, and dance with friends, I LOVE DANCING! where else am i supposed to dance??

 

and we are in a serious committed relationship, we are going to get married, and i always see couples going out together having fun on the dance floor... see when im with him, i dont feel like going clubbing anyway, i rather stay home or go out to romantic dinners!! its when he is away that i feel like this sometimes, and have the need to go out and let loose... we trust each other 100%...

 

he will be here soon!! cant wait!!

[OceanEyes]

I agree with Lady also. Even though I have been in a serious relationship (cohabitational for the past 5 or so months), I still love to go out dancing.

 

You seem like a girl who needs to get out and have fun. I can tell you one thing, if you are anything like me, you are probably going to need to go out clubbing from time to time. If I don't get out of the house to do something fun that I want to do, I end up starting to feel trapped and like I'm losing my mind.

 

What is the big deal with you going out to a club from time to time? If he "trusts you", there should be no reason that he gives you grief about it.

 

If he thinks that you have to make sacrafices in a relationship to make it work, then why can't he support your need to get out on your own when he is gone? If there is total trust, then I really just don't see the problem. The only thing that I can see, is that he might think that most women go to clubs for the same reason that men do: to pick up. While I am sure that some women do, most just go to dance, for the music and to have some drinks and laughs.

[CarterJonas]

Ah!

 

The secret to a good and fulfilling relationship is trust, time together and time alone/with friends. When you meet and fall in love with a person there is no need to give up what you enjoy.

 

I think the most common reason for him not wanting you to go out to clubs is because of issues with trust.

[SweetGemini]

he considers clubs as very filthy places and that a good girl like myself does not belong there... see, i wouldnt like him to go out to clubs either... i trust him but i dont trust the situation he will be in... especially when he has crazy single friends around him...