I'm in love with her; she is with another guy.

[AnDrewL]

" School starts, and I instantly fall in love with this beautiful girl in my class. But she is allready in a relationship. So a whole semester passes. She and her boyfriend break up. And my feelings for her suddenly wakes back to life. I am really, head over heels, in love. So I try to be the one she can seek comfort in. They just broke up, after two years. So I thought that a good way to do it, is to be the shoulder she can lean on. I'm also thinking that, since they just ended such a long relationship, it's natural for me not to rush things, but to take it easy from the start, right?

So here I am. My feelings for her just keep growing and growing for every word she says. Time passes, and I set up a 'not-so-formal'- date. She says it sounds like fun, and I am thrilled.

A little later that day she tells me that she is going to her ex boyfriends house, for a little talk. So I'm thinking that something might happen, and things might go back to what it was. And ofcourse. They got back together.

But things did not go back to the way they were. My feelings for her is still here. Bigger then ever. I can't just switch them off. I am so in love you wouldn't believe it. And there is nothing I can do.

Or is there? "

 

..

 

I thought things over.

 

I can't just run away from her, in an attempt to forget. Because every day, she is right there. Sitting on the chair next to me. I can't ignore her! Should I leave school?

 

I can't compete to the guys she has been with for more then two years. She never had another relationship. Nothing I can do here. I can't win her!

 

Some friends of mine on school, offered to beat the guy up. Mess him up so badly, she could never look at him again. I am so confused by all these feelings, I'm actually considering this option! ..

 

 

She asked me about how I was doing, and what I wanted her to do.

I said that I'd be allright, and that she should just act like everything was what it once was. Though it's not.

We still talk about the stuff we did before this whole thing happened, and we both act as if nothing changed. It did; and I can't just prefend I'm not so badly in love with her there aren't words to explain it..

 

I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know why you're reading this.

I allready know that the replies I'm going to get, will be "Don't worry, it'll just take TIME". Or, "TIME will heal these wounds." sort of things..

There is proborably something I don't know, or don't want to know that I know it. But I don't know what it is ... .. .

[xBlySSx]

dude, I know what your going through.. And i hate to say it,, If there girl isnt really into you.. you cant controll anything that happens.. i mean If you like her that much,., and shes not into you.. or she is but wants to be with her b/f instead of you.. you cant controll how she acts, or what she does or likes.. you cant do anything, except tell her how you feel, and hope she likes u..

[ponyboy33_99]

how old are you dude. listen dude number one youve made a lot of mistakes so far. ok first off i can tell your starting to get depressed you probably dream about this girl every night. Now am i going to say forget about her, No. but if you want her you got to work for it, and I hate to say it you may be a nice guy and all but your going to need to play mind games on her. And let me get this straight does she know you have feelings for her. anyways the reason she went back with her boyfriend is because she feels like hes the best thing out there... because guys generaly tend to think cause shes got a boyfriend shes not availiable. you have to show her otherwise. again first off pick your head up and stop being wimpy shes not gonna feel sorry for you and start dating you because she pittys you. what you need my friend is confience and a lot of it. when you walk around school keep a cocky smirk on your face like james bond walk in long strides and keep your shoulders back. when you talk to this girl act cocky too her kind of pick on her... not in a mean way im like saying if she says something like i wore the wrong color of shoes today or something like that you say "well I didnt want to say anything" and sort of start bossing her around you got to start thinking in your head that you are irisitinble to this woman but your just gonna keep her guessing. now if you did tell her your feelings tell her youve been going through some stuff lately and you just want to be friends. in fact tell her you really enjoy being her friend and bring that up from time to time. ok if you have a class with her or however you want to do it get her over to your house on the couch. and just kinda keep up a convo with her it shouldnt be hard since your friends dont be nervous at all man but reach up and run your hands throught her hair and say she has really nice hair if she lets you do that. then start sniffing the air like you smell somthing intriguing and gradualy sniff closer to her (while your hands are still in her hair) start sniffing her shoulder and tell her shes smells amazing wheather shes wearing perfume or not. tell her you love the sent of a woman. if she lets you keep smelling her keep doing it for about a min then look passionately into her eyes and go for a kiss (if she was letting you smell her shell let you kiss her) but just lightly kiss her bottom lip and then go back to smelling tell her again she smells so good and just kinda go from there its really up to you. This will work buddy I tell you this because ive done it more than once. i found this site by accident but i got to tell you man everyone goes through what your going through. dont start getting depressed. after youve kissed her and made out for a while with this girl tell her a couple days later at school youve been talkin to some other chick. you dont want to just rush into a relationship with her cause you made out with her. but use this to your advantage if she gets mad or something like that when you try to kiss her(she wont) (which remember even bond got chicks pissed at him) just kina laugh at it act like its no big deal and shes crazy for over reacting and that its perfectly normal for two friends to kiss. the key is always being confident start telling yourself that your james bond in your head. if you got any other questions like specifics on something ill be happy to answer.

 

good luck bond

[AnDrewL]

Well.. Look at this.

First off: I think you should cut back on the Bond-obsession.

From my guessing; you're British, and have the Bond DVD collection, and a room full of Bond posters.. But enough of that.

Second: You had a lot of good points, and I can tell that you know what you're saying here. Thanks for taking time to write all that, by the way. I would apretiate if you would give me a few more tips..

 

Here is the situation..

I've allready told her I have feelings for her, and I've also told her, after they got back together, that I would like to be friends with her. And we are. Now that she knows I have feelings for her, it actually seems like she is giving me more attention. BUT, I can tell that this is out of pity, not anything else..

About the 'smelling-part'. That won't work now. At least not jet.

You see, we aren't really that close! This is what I want to change ofcourse, but now the boyfriend is back in the picture. And like I said earlier, they have been together for more then two years, and she hasn't been in another relationship before. I don't feel I can compete with him now.. This is where I'll need some pointers. I've got plenty of time to make things good, and I guess this is something that will take time as well.. When I think of it, I'm afraid of rushing into rejection.

 

And another thing. I try to act like everything is okay, when I am near her, but what I am worried about is that she will think that 'I'm over her' or something like that, if I completely stop showing my feelings, and talking about this subject.. I would like to be confident, but not to make her think I've lost interest.

 

Thanks again, bud.

[ponyboy33_99]

ok here we go, I do love bond by the way but dont have the collection yet. you want her to think youve lost interest in her trust me on that. One thing women like is attention if you make her think that youve lost attention when shes been given so much allready shes gonna wanna know why and shes gonna try and get your attention back. Now im not saying blatently ignore her but let her know you got a lot of other stuff on your mind. you have to figure out a way to invite her over just as friends or something. when i was in school i used to tell them i needed help with my homework. that would always work. another thing that helped me is i used to read a lot about dating theres all kinds of books out there and ive read them all so do yourself a favor go look into some of these books and learn some minipulation techniques. more than anything let her know how much you like being her friend. you think you love this girl but you really dont dude trust me try going after some other girls too. you dont have to give up on her but some other girls might help you to get her attention as well and to trust you more. about this 2 year relationship thing like i told you earlier she dosnt know any other guys like that you said he was her first relationship. guys are probably afraid to talk to her at least youve gotten this far. you need to get close with her like i said get her over to your house to hang out as friends. shell come over it dosnt hurt to ask if she says no just jokingly say "fine i didnt want you to come over anyway." above all relax. youll get this girl if you want her.

[AnDrewL]

Thanks, pal.

Appretiate it..

I guess I've got some 'work' to do, so, I'll just get to it.

I think I know how to move on with this thing now..

Thanks again ..

[AnDrewL]

Well!

I'm back.

 

I thought things would take longer, but I've done more or less what you've said, and things have been going good so far.

But now, I guess will be the tricky part.

 

Here it is:

The part where I stop showing my interest in her, wasn't as easy as I first suspected, but I tried. Still, I couldn't help telling her the truth when she asked me about it. So I said that I still had feelings for her, but that she shouldn't think about it. That I was going to be allright, and not to worry. I also said that I still wanted to get to know her better, as friends, and she said that it would be nice. So today, I met her at this other girl in my class house, where us and others from class were going to prepare for our finals. So first, we didn't talk about much else then school-stuff, and nothing spesial happened. But then everyone left, leaving just me, her, and the girl whos place we were at. So we talked, and enjoyed ourselfs a bit. Discussing everything and nothing. Sex was amung the topics, and she asked me about what I would do if "a girl I liked, and another girl wanted to have a threesome with me". (by 'a girl I liked', she obviously ment her self') .. so I didn't really know what to say. But ofcourse I anwsered her the best I could, not thinking that she was serious about it, which I very much doubt she was. This was just a thing we talked about, and laughed together on. But I got the impression that she wanted my attention. The time was not right to do anything though. Just believe me on that one. Well, after a short while, the three of us, plus three of my friends, go to my place to watch a movie. So I sit next to her again (this time on my couch), but nothing really happens. We watch the movie, and afterwards me and a friend of mine drive the two of them back home, and head back home. Now, here I am. Confused, and seeking advice. :

 

She talks to me about her boyfriend and their fighting, and about her friends, and a lot of things. So I feel good that she talks to me about these things, and I think I'm doing a good job at giving her advice. But man, it's tough to give her advice on how to fix things between she and her boyfriend, when I really want him to be totally out of this world. But I care for her, and I do what I see is best for her, not me. And also, this way, I gain her trust..

 

 

But now I am just confused.

She loves her boyfriend. I can tell. And I know it's mutual.

I have feelings for her. She knows this.

We're getting to know each other better.

I'm afraid that I'll say or do something to scare her away. This is the last thing I want to do right now, because this whole thing has just made things better between us so far. I'm getting to know her better. Doing stuff with her, outside of school.

She never told me this, but she thinks of me as a friend. Nothing more. Still I don't know if, deep down, she has started to grow some feelings for me. I guess I just hope so, and think I see this in the way she acts.

It's like the whole situation all of a sudden got so blur! I don't know what she feels. I don't know what she thinks. I don't know what she wants. I don't know what to do.

 

This might seem confusing. But hey; confusing is the key word right now!

Tell me what you think ..

 

By the way. Please give me some response quick. I'm seeing her tomorrow. And we might go on a trip with most of the people from class very soon. So I need every piece of advice I can get on this one.

[AnDrewL]

Wish Things Weren't the Way That They Are

 

I love it when she does things with me.

When she talks to me.

When she looks at me.

When it includes me in any way;

I love it when she does whatever.

 

Still.

I hate it when she does things with me.

When she talks to me.

When she looks at me.

When it includes me, in any way;

I hate it when she does whatever.

 

Because.

When she does things with me, I think of what we could have done.

When she talks to me, I think of what she could have said.

When she looks at me, I see things aren't the way I want them to be.

When what she does include me, in any way;

I wish things weren't the way that they are.

 

 

 

Well, look at that. I just wrote a poem in less then one minute.

[bizmark]

Did things ever work out for you with this girl????

[AnDrewL]

Well.. Funny you should ask that question right now.

I just read a mail I got from her. We send some mails and stuff..

Well; she said that she and her boyfriend are fighting all the time, and I've allways been there, telling her what I think, and trying to help her out in however way I can. And in this mail, she told me that her boyfriend and her are on the edge of breaking up!

 

I actually still have strong feelings for her. Can't believe it has been going on for so long now! I still think about her every damned day. When I go to bed; when I wake up. She's allways on my mind.

But, I'm kind of feeling that I'm not right for her. Allthough I feel she's right for me! I would do anything for this girl; still, I don't really know what I want anymore.

 

 

So.. We've gotten closer to each other. And that's about it. But that's the main thing I wanted out of this in the first place. Us getting closer to each other. I hope that she and her boyfriend breaking up now, will give us the opportunity to get even closer to each other.