unknown father issue

[poppet]

Ok so when I was a baby my mum and father divorced and I have no living memory of him. Ive never had any contact with him. I have to look at the very limited amount of pictures of him to remember what he looks like. So rencently I have been thinking about trying to find him and I dont even know where to start. My fathers dad used to send like birthday and christmas cards but that was the only contact we even had so I cant suddenly write to him or ring him and ask where my father is!I dont think I wanna have my father in my life coz my mum remarried and as far as im concerned the man she remarried is my dad. I just wanna see who he is and kinda want him to see what hes missed out on!Someone please give me some advice much love xxxxx

[ayekasong]

Well, I think the first place to start is to ask your mother where he is, she might know. I think it is good for you to know about your birth father for medical reasons and such. However, I am kind of worried that you want him to see what he missed out on - yes he's totally missing out on a great child, but try not to look at this as a "rub it in his face" type of thing. I think that will only bring you more anger in the end.

 

I know there are other ways you can find people, but I don't know all the details - sorry about that! Sometimes I google people's names to see if I can find info on them, but it's not that reliable. Good luck!

[tiger_lilies]

Hi, I am in the exact same situation as you!

 

I also have no memory of my father. He and my mom divorced by the time I was one year old. The only picture I had of him was when my aunt got married and he was in some of the wedding pictures..,unfortunatley I lost that one picture many years ago, so I only have the memory of that picture!

 

Anyhoo, I just wanted to say that I have also had thoughts of meeting him, just sitting down for coffe and asking him about his side of the story. My mom has completely blocked him out of her memory and doesn't give me much info to go on.

 

I've thought about hiring a private investigator...but I'm sure that would cost an arm and a leg! I'm not looking for him to be my "father", I just want to see if I have any half brothers or half sisters out there, what he looks like today and if I can see any resemblance of me in him. Why he never contacted me, whether he was curious about me, find out about his side of the family, etc.

My aunt seems to think that he must wonder about me the same as I wonder about him. I'm sure your father does too.

 

Anyway, if you ever come accross any ways of finding him, PM me, I'd also love to get to the bottom of this!

Cheers!

[poppet]

cheers guys for the replys!me and my mum are fairly open about this topic and she has no idea where he is or this whole situ whould be so much more easier!

it aint that i wanna rub it in his face at all sorry if it came accross like that but all the things tiger_lillie said are all the question i wanna find out. Silly little things like did he ever kiss me goodbye or did he just leave!its so hard sometimes when i really start thinking about it!i mean i would never ever want my father to replace my dad that my mum married coz as far as im concerned he would be the one that i wouold ask to walk me down the isle if i ever got married not my father!but cheers for getting back to me guys really appreciate it! xxxxx