Weird situation need advice

[8888]

I met this girl who lives abroad sometime December. I'm the type of person who doesn't warm up to ppl right away. She was told by a friend of hers that her and I would click really well. At first I didn't see it and neither did she. As time went on we hung out more and more and were able to be natural and open with each other. We became really good friends and I was happy with that. It's difficult for me to maintain a friendship with a girl so I thought this was perfect. I went away for a month and when I got back, I noticed that she would always try to take me away from our group of friends to be alone. One night we made a bit, it was a bit awkward after but that quickly passed. She finally confessed to me that she's extremely picky with men and I'm the only person that she's met that understands her, that see's things the same way she does and truly has a connection with. I can't deny that I feel the same. Now, I have a pretty bad history with relationships and I've had a wall up around me for a long time. I can't get into things as easily as before and her confession stressed me out a lot. The problem is that, she doesn't excite me sexually but I'm not sure if this is due to our friendship or because I'm a little screwed up. For the last two months she's really been trying to get more and more affection from me, telling me that she loves me and sometimes aggressively trying to sleep with me. We tried once and I just couldn't get into it, I felt terrible but we got passed it. We hang a lot and have great times together but I could tell that she's very frustrated with me because she wants me badly. Anyway our common friends felt that she's been wasting her time with me and decided to set her up on a date with a guy who apparently resembles me in every way. She has seen him twice which means there might be something there. She was very surprised that I wasn't interested in knowing how things went or what's going on. The truth is I don't want to know, because I feel like I'm letting go of something that could be special and this whole situation with her new date is consuming and hurting me. I haven't told her yet but I'm sure she feels it.

Not sure what to do...

[Snow Bird]

Sounds like you need to get yourself and these relationship blockers you have sorted out. You won't be able to have a normal relationship until you have found the problem and sorted it for good. Work on yourself at this time. Go ahead and tell her what you plan to do to sort it out (if you want to do that). Let things go how they are going to fall with her. Right now sorting yourself out is priority for YOU.. and if she's there for you through all of that (even if she only supports you as a friend), then you know she's someone worth having. If you are both so inclined to try again later. If another guy snatches her up that easily and she leaves you that easily, she was never intended for you anyway. Right now, you really need to get yourself right because you can't love and give yourself to someone else if you aren't firing on all cylinders yourself.

[8888]

Yes I agree. We've spoken about my issues and she has even tried to help me get passed it. But our conversations regarding this haven't really made a change in me, so I'm thinking about going to see my psychologist. Part of me wants to tell her that I'm ready just so that she stops seeing this guy because she's been my "girl" (not even sure what to call it) for a while now. But that wouldn't be fare. I don't think I'm hurting because she's seeing someone, I'm hurting because my dumb brain is blocking what could be a great thing.