am i just too overprotective?

[redline052]

Today me, my girlfriend and a bunch of other people were working on our school float that we were making for a christmas parade. My gf was using a permanent pen when she accidently got some on her pants, and then she started writing on her friends pants, and it turned into kind of a big thing.

 

I was just joking around and i was like "put a handprint on her butt" so she did, it was kinda funny, then she put one on my gf's. I dont really care about that they are just having fun, and it was funny. Then one of my friends, who knew that i would get mad wrote "Scott was here" like right on her inner thigh, and she didnt even do anything to stop him, or tell him to write it somewhere else. then on the handprint on her butt, he wrote "scott's" and she just let him and laughed while she was looking at me, then he put a hand way down at her foot, and wrote my name. He was trying to make me mad, so i just played it like a cool bf.

 

Later, while we were still working on painting stuff i was like "cross out scott's name(on the handprint on her butt), hes stupid" and she was just like "noo, he put that there" so i was like just joking "oh so you want it there?" and i did the pretend to be really mad, but fake looking way. and she didnt do anything, then her friend looked at me nodding to agree, and crossed it out.

 

It kind of made me mad that she let him do stuff like that. She is my gf, and i cant believe she literally provoked him to put that her right in front of me. I fealt cheated, but i didnt make it seem like i was really mad. Ive gotten really mad at her before for just like letting guys flirt with her and make a big deal out of it right in front of me. I would never let some girl flirt with me like she lets guys do with her, and then provoke it, especially right in front of my own girlfriends face.

 

I dont know if i should either get mad, or say something to her or what. next time she calls, i was planning on saying "why dont you go do something with scott, then you guys can put your hands all over eachother to trace them without me around to get mad"

 

Ive seen texts on her phone before from guys that say stuff like "hey beautiful" and i dont know what to say to her.

[Desired1]

I really don't think that it was too big of a deal. It wasn't like your friend grabbed on her or was flirting with her. Calm down its not that serious. If you get mad easy thats the only reason he probably did it. Its gonna be ok

 

 

[Roasted Carrots]

It looks like you're dating a flirtatious girl with a lot of girl friends and guy friends. She's very outgoing friendly, and values her independence. That's what you were attracted to in the first place, right?

 

You acknowledge in your post that you KNOW they are friends and they were just having a bit of fun; you simply cannot suppress your feelings of jealously. Your girl flirts in front of you not to make you jealous, she flirts so that you know exactly what she's doing and with whom without her having to explain afterwards in say, a phone conversation. As open as your relationship may be, this feels like scrutiny, and most people hate it; if feels like you're not being trusted, that ultimately hurts the relationship. Bottom line: She's not flirting to make you jealous, rather just letting you know what's she's up to.

 

As for this Scott character: you're all obviously good friends - I don't see Scott acting out of lines here. He was just joining in on the fun. If anything, you were being a bit of party pooper...I would have written my name in a place Scott wouldn't dare have gone.

 

Know that your girlfriend is true, and your love is true, and there's nothing to be jealous about. There are other people in your life and in your girlfriend's life, but you are the one she chose!

[tea]

I think you blew it out of proportion too. It is kind of fun to sign names somewhere daring. Yeah, if I were you I would have done the same as suggested above, laugh and sign my name somewhere Scott can't touch... like... put your hand print on her inner thigh and sign on her crotch, "beat that, scott! (your name)."

 

Try not being so jealoused. I don't think you're over protective.. I think you just over reacted. That really isn't protecting your girlfriend... I guess you can argue you're protecting your right to her body, but then is she your girlfriend or your slave?

 

If you really dont' like scott's name on her inner thigh.. what I would have done is scream out, "Noooo~ Wait~~" *rush over happily* "Wait~~ I was reserving that spot for this!!" and sign on her thigh cheerfully. Then everyone will laugh and that's a hint for scott to back off.

[redline052]

Heh, yea usually i am that type of person to just join in on the fun, but seeing what was going on in the more "symbolistic" way i guess, i saw a handprint on my girlfriends butt with a guys name on it that i know is trying to make me mad. He does it a lot, and it pisses me off, and she knows it, yet she goes along with it. I dont show that i am actually mad, but my gf can usually tell. I was actually curious to see how far she would let him go, before she realized that she actually had a boyfriend, and that hes sitting right there. Im surprised she actually stopped him, maybe its because she figured out i was there. Scott isnt actually my friend, hes actually the opposite. He was my friend before he tried to act cool by acting like a bi*ch. Dam i like this posting thing too, it lets me take out some anger. sorry, its just that i think my girlfriend should be a little more noticeable to my feelings, and that maybe having a guy write incinuative things all over her isnt a good thing to do.

[redline052]

Bottom line: She's not flirting to make you jealous, rather just letting you know what's she's up to.

 

i dont see how flirting with guys gets anywhere? how does that show whats shes up to? She wanted me to write something on her, i was so distracted by what just happened i told her no. I didnt want to have anything to do with her at that time. later after she litterally begged me, i drew some stupid little drawing, that i hope kind of got the point accross that i didnt want to be apart of it.

[Roasted Carrots]

Well that's exactly what I meant by being a party pooper - instead of keeping the fun going and just forgetting the whole incident, you decided to "punish" your girlfriend, make her feel guilty, and make her apoligize for something that wasn't really her fault.

 

As for the flirting, let me try and rephrase so it makes more sense. When I have a boyfriend and also a guy who is hitting on me, there isn't an aweful lot I can do about the guy who's hitting on me, especially if he's a friend that I want to keep as a friend but nothing more. Rather than undergo scrutiny by my boyfriend by what he considers "flirting" and what he doesn't, I'd rather just keep all of my activities with this guy in view of my boyfriend so my boyfriend would know exactly what I was doing. This way, he'd see that I was actually doing all that I could to keep the guy as a friend without going to far. I think that's what your girlfriend was trying to do with Scott.

 

You say you were "surprised" that your girlfried "actually" stopped him, and you think she did just because she realized you were there. I disagree. I think Your girlfriend was having a grand old time and stopped because she realized you were not, and then you ruined the mood of the party by making her beg for forgivness. If you ask me, your girlfriend sounds like a fun-loving individual and you are lucky to have her, and you should work to keep your jealousy under control before you smother your relationship.

[redline052]

i didnt do anything to be the "party pooper", i just sat there and watched. i laughed just as they did, but didnt show any distress. I kept it inside, which i dont like to do. I didnt make her beg for my forgiveness, i just didnt want to write on her leg because then i thought i would make what he did look perfectly fine. The only thing that stopped what they were doing was that scott had to leave, not me.