After 1 and a half year, I am still waiting him to come back

[marolua]

I can not forget my ex, I am thinking of him all through the day, but the problem is that it has been about 1 and a half year since I have said him to break up totally. We met several times after we broke up, but every time we met he was telling me about his new girlfriends and asking me advice to what to do, since, he said, I was the only person that he could talk with. I could not stand this situation any more, and after approximately 6 months after we heve broken up,I said him that we could not be friends anymore, and please dont call me, dont come to my office, dont even say me any "hi' in the Icq!

 

The problem is: He took my words seriously, 3 months earlier I saw him on a very happy day of mine, and we did not even say hello to each other. And this hurts too much. We were very close when we were together, before eveything else we had a world of two people. I know that those times will not come back, and he will not come back to me, BUT, I am still expecting him to call me. Since I have realized that I do not want another boyfriend since I can not forget him, and not the other way round, i ams o desperate that I can not carry on with my life. I want to call him, write him a long long e-mail but I dont do anything. And sure I can not meet any new possible boyfriend, since I dont look around.

 

How am I going to break this circle? I really need your advice? Should I call him or should I force myself into liking a person. any person?

[dontknowwhattodo]

Hi there, you need to focus more on your life. Do you go out often? Meet friends and family? Hang out? Have a hobby? Travel? Do something silly and fun? Go watch movie? Do something to better yourself? Focus more on your job and your health? If the answer is no, may be you need a little change.

 

I used to feel the same that my world was totally crashed after the break up with my last bf, but by doing those I mentioned above I think I feel much better now. And now I have some new people around and I can see myself dating some of these guys. There are people out there who want to be with us and love us. Thing happens for the best and you need to learn and live.

 

It is ok to think about your ex once in a while, at least all those memories are worth remembering. I do miss my ex sometimes too (today is exactly the 3rd month since our break up) but my life is moving on.

 

Please take care. I hope this helps.

[quidproquo]

Marolua~

 

"or should I force myself into liking a person"

I don't think you need me to tell you that this phrase seems a bit silly and not what you really wish to do.

 

I believe you did the right thing by cutting off contact with him but it's normal that you regret doing so. And of course he took you seriously – he respects your wishes and do not wish to cause you further pain. But what hurts you more? The fact that he's taking you up on your request or all the feelings that resurfaces when you are around him? The thought of not being able to have what you want is eating you alive but distance appears to be the best solution for you still because clearly, your heart is not ready to accept the thought of being 'just friends' with him. Take in mind that friendship should not give you nothing but grief.

 

"every time we met he was telling me about his new girlfriends and asking me advice to what to do, since, he said, I was the only person that he could talk with."

He came to you because he didn't realize that you were still lingering on him – he was naïve to the fact that you are not at the same stage so don't take it that he did this to intentionally hurt you.

 

What are you doing besides thinking about him? I'm sure you have close friends who are willing to lend an ear, shoulder and a good time if you allow them. It's cathartic to give this issue a long good cry but dwelling on it will only make your blue skies a bit grayer and life duller. Allow yourself to find closure. Take life by the reins and have a kick-@ss time while you're at it!

 

---

 

It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel if you leave your blinders on.