Are all guys like me

[Sim3a]

So yea i was wondering if all guys were like me. in the sense that when i dont know where my gf is and she wont pick up her phone i alwasy wonder is she is cheating on me. I dunno what it is but i always think that when she have showed no sign of it. also i was wondering how to fix that so i wouldnt think that anymore so if u have any advise help me it really bothers me and her

[SkyFire]

You, my friend, are insecure. And no, not all guys are like you.

[Switch187]

Well for one your not alone, there are many guys out there who think the same way. This is due to a trust insecurity you have. But she isn't helping you either with what she's doing (like not answering your calls, or informing you where she is), but that can be changed if you just ask her to talk. Don't mix informing you where she is with asking you for permission, that will just make you look like your being "smothering", and it will just push her away. Also don't make it so that she has to answer all your calls, but she should at least try to return your call if she sees she missed it. Another thing that would help is if when you talk to her, try to get her to put herself in your shoes. Ask her how she would react if you were always gone and never answered her call? It may help her understand that your not trying to be smothering, you just want to be part of each others lifes.

 

There's no real method to deal with your insecurity, you just need to be able to trust her. If you love her, then you need to know that she does have the abiltiy to hurt you, but you need to just trust her that she wont. Another way to help you deal with your trust issue, is to get yourself out there more. Maybe you don't trust her that much because if you were in the same situation you may become a "cheater" (you may think differently, but until your put in that situation you really don't know). Also you can ask her for help (some girls won't see this as a weakness, but as a sign of strength wanting to help your relationship), and just say that you want her to know that you do trust her, your just having a hard time really accepting it (you may want to reword and think that, so this way you don't come out saying "I don't trust you, we need to fix that"). Hope this helps, and I hope you get over this because it's something that can stick with you forever if you don't try to make progress.

[summerdreams]

only the young and/or insecure guys are like you.

 

the older and/or confident guys are not.

[wasting_time]

yea man im like you, i trust my girlfriend, but when she is at a party where she is drinking i cant helpp but feel insecure that a guy will try something and due to the alcohol she wont be able to stop. My girlfriend picks up her fone tho, so i dont know, talk to her about it and tell ehr to stop doing it.

[facksfunny]

Dude the same thing happened to me. My gf just stopped answering my phonecalls and emails. She never talked to me on msn. She wouldn't answer the door when I went over to her house. She goes to a diferent school so I never really found out why she stopped comunicating with me. I never saw her again until this summer I saw her at the mall with another guy. I think she just didn't want to see me anymore, maybe I was being a jerk. I still want to talk to her to find out what happened and apologize. You could be in the same boat here dude. Hope you get it figured out, good luck.

[OceanEyes]

Well, although I am female, I can still pretty much guarantee you that not all guys are this way. Some guys are pretty nonchalant about their girlfriends having their own little social lives outside of the relationship.

 

Perhaps it would be wise to follow her example? Something tells me that you have too much spare time on your hands if you're at home calling her while she's out having fun with friends.

 

I'm going to warn you in advance: I can't stand it when I feel like my boyfriend is trying, intentionally, to ruin my fun with friends because he is jealous. I dated a guy like this for about 3 months, and it was very easy for me to say "buh-bye". Some 'light' jealousy can be quite cute, and remind your girlfriend that you really do care, but obsessive calling and questioning her actions will probably drive her away in a hurry. It's very unattractive.

[Maverick44]

Agree with OceanEyes, here.

 

Dude, just do your thing. Why worry about your gf? She's got a social life. When did that become taboo or a bad thing? Live your own social life. After awhile, you'll be having such a blast, you'll be surprised when she tells you she called and wondered where you were at, etc..., probably getting a little jealous herself!

 

Maverick

[bat_grrl]

I can tell you from exeperience (though I am not a guy), insecurity and jealousy on your part will only push her away. There is nothing wrong with being concerned a bit, or perhaps cautious to a point. However, if you love her, then you need to trust her. If you cannot trust her, why be in a relationship with her?

 

I am working on that myself. I was all over my bf if he didn't come online, wasn't there when I called, etc. We talked about it and it was smothering him and making him feel defensive, as if he had to answer to me. He also said it hurt him that I didn't seem to trust him.

 

I finally had to realize we also had lives apart from each other and those lives could not stop just because we are now together. Try to do things with your friends and stuff outside of your relationship...