10 months later perspective: finally letting go

[goodheartlady]

Hi all,

 

Those who wish can look up my story. A very intense 1 year relationship (yes, not long) ended 10 months ago. I actually have kept busy: dated, got a new job, widen my friendship circle. As twisted as it sounds, my hope - that he was certainly going to come back - actually kept me going. I did a lot for this person. Treated him like prince, and everyone could tell I was doing everything I can to make him happy.

 

No contact for 10 months, and randomly ran into him last week. He was just cold. Ice cold. Said a number of things that were hurtful and untrue - to my face. Why the cruelty now? There was no point. What does he hoping to get out of that?

 

Today, I am finally letting go of hope. I loved. I cared. I forgave. But none of that it mattered at the end of the day. He had been completely over the relationship for 10 months, and he couldn't care less. I guess I fooled myself into thinking, of course he will come back and apologize. Of course, he will thank me for being there of him when he needed me the most. Not true.

 

I am letting it all go. All my love and hopes and memories. I will say it over and over again, aloud, until I can feel and believe it too.

 

For those of you hurting, I feel you. Let it go. Stop punishing yourself. Let it go.

 

-Good Heart Lady.

[bw92116]

I am sorry you were hurt again by him. Thank you for your post.

[Nick32]

I am sorry to hear about what happened too. I do feel that same thing as you did...the thought in the back of my mind that the other person might actually feel sorry for what they did and maybe try to reach out and make it as right as they can. However, I think that some people (probably my ex included) are just self serving and all about what they want with very little regard for all the work and effort we put into the relationship.

 

Good for you for letting go and for making the final decision to move on. Sounds like you are taking a lot of the same steps as me too. New friends, new life... you will be happy once again very soon because you deserve it! We all do!

[jeremymason]

I'm sorry...

[Watergirl777]

I think I'm going to take your advice.

[hopefully]

Good luck with your journey. I hope you find someone who really deserves your love.

[bluevacuum]

He's obviously twisted his perception of reality to make you the bad guy. He could be delusional to alleviate some of his guilt or maybe he's in a bad place in life and you were an easy target.

 

I'm happy that you are letting go of everything. That step only happens when you are ready. You are definitely on the path of healing. Know that it's never linear and you cannot change a person or how they behave. You are in control of yourself and your actions. Realize that YOU are the prize. He's crazy for treating you this way.

[oldandstupid]

This is a very honest post.

We all come on this site saying how we're moving on and we're probably trying to convince ourselves. But the truth is that we are all secretly hoping the ex will come back, or apologize or think about us etc.

Some may do, but most won't. I've actually experienced both. the ex I pine over now rather cruelly dumped me once before and after a year she got back in touch. Now she's done it again..dumped me that is. I also ran into her a few weeks ago and she blanked me. We were in our cars facing each other at a set of traffic lights. Probably symbolic really. I've been stuck at amber for last 4 months. Her ignorant behaviour should be a green light for me to move on.

I mentioned in my other post how I have now learned she's with another. It hurt but again, it's another sign that I should let go completely and move on.

[goodheartlady]

Hi all and thank you for your kind words. The hardest part of it all is that as our conversation needed, he said I don't want anything to do with you."

This is just heart breaking and unnecessary. I have not in anyway reached out to him over the past 10 months. Our accidental meeting was at the local airport, completely unplanned. Why be so cruel to something? What have I done?

[nfperception]

Hi all and thank you for your kind words. The hardest part of it all is that as our conversation needed, he said I don't want anything to do with you."

This is just heart breaking and unnecessary. I have not in anyway reached out to him over the past 10 months. Our accidental meeting was at the local airport, completely unplanned. Why be so cruel to something? What have I done?

 

Trust me, read enough posts on here that are similar to yours and you'll see that it happens no matter the break-up.